Old thread

[Antoshi]

Old, irrelevant post. 25char.

 

[Breezy]

Mmm . . . its not a bad fic Antoshi though it was a rather place to start a fic. But I suppose I should read your first fic to get it right? ^^;

Some misplaced commas here and there too. Like:

Watch it!" A man said, angrily, but Antoshi didn't hear it.

I believe you only need the comm between "angrily" and "but" but even without any commas, it would still make sense.

Description was pretty good, not too much, not too little. Plot seems interesting as well.

Character development . . . well, I'm not too sure yet seeing as I haven't read the prequel to this but for personality, they do seem kind of bland as in they don't have that certain thing that sets them apart from the other characters but meh, maybe I'm just not reading close enough.

But overall, tis a pretty good fic. ^^

LaTeR dAyZ!