Pokemon Retro-Evolved

[Brawler360]

Pokemon Chronicles: Kanto

Chapter 1 - James Begins


The loud, buzzing annoyance was what woke James from his slumber. Pulling a pillow over his head, the brown-haired youth made a desperate attempt to keep the sound from his aching brain. After a few seconds of ringing in his head, however, he realized his efforts had yielded little results, and so he finally sat up to turn off his overly loud alarm clock.

"Mom must've turned the volume up on it after I went to bed...," He said aloud.

Running a hand through his messy hair, James squinted his blue eyes as he attempted to adjust them to the bright morning sun shining into his room. He could barely read the alarm clock due to the heavy glare created by the powerful rays. After concentrating for a few moments he was able to read the time.

"Eight-o-one,"

James threw the covers off of himself and stepped out of bed. Wearing only plain white boxer-shorts, he quickly dressed into his pre-laid out outfit he prepared the night before. He had been waiting for this day for a long time, and something like not having suitable clothes to wear was not going to stop him.

He wore baggy khaki pants with cargo pockets for carrying whatever he saw fit. Also, James wore a plain white t-shirt with a black, sleeveless vest over it. It too, had pockets in the front of it. He put on his dark blue fingerless gloves right after he threw his socks on. Checking himself out in the mirror before taking off, he figured he looked pretty good. Grabbing his black and gray backpack from the floor next to his bed, he bolted down the stairs, ready to take off on his...

"Good morning sweety!" His mother said to him as he came down the stairs. She had long black hair and blue eyes, just like James.

"Hey Mom," James said as he kissed her on the cheek, on his way out the door.

"Where are you going?" She asked as she was setting the table.

"Mom...you know where I'm going," He told her. "Today is the first day of summer, and I'm going to start my quest for the Gym Badges, since I'm finally old enough. We've been over this a million times."

"Oh, right," She said, feigning suprise. "So you are going to leave without eating breakfast?"

James was torn. He really wanted to set off on his journey, but he also couldn't turn down a well-cooked meal.

"Plus," His mother continued. "Your father is out getting something for you, so you might want to stick around for him to show up."

He was defeated. James could not resist the temptation of a tasty breakfast AND a surprise from his father. His Dad always gave him the coolest stuff. So he pulled up a chair and sat down, indulging in the scrumptious meal his Mom had made for him.

A few minutes later, with the stomach full, the soon-to-be Pokémon trainer got up from the table and cleaned up his dishes and utensils.

"Thanks Mom," James said as he hugged his mother. "That was really good."

"No problem honey," She said to him as she noticed something outside. "Oh! Looks like your father is back!"

Excitedly, James ran over to the door to greet his Dad.

"Heya kid!" He said as he ruffled up his son's hair. "I got something for ya."

The brown-haired man, stepping into a house a bit further, held out a brown leather belt with loop-like pockets around its edges. James took it from his father, suspecting he knew what it was.

"It's for Pokeballs right?" He asked.

"That's right," He told his son. "But it's not much use unless you have something to put in it, right?"

"You mean..."

His father pulled a handfull of tiny Pokeballs from his pocket.

"THANKS DAD!" James said, giving his father a giant hug.

James took the small, red and white metallic orbs and put one in each slot around his fancy new belt which was now around his waist. Each of the six balls fit perfectly around his waist, with three on each side of the belt. He couldn't believe it, his journey was finally about to begin, after three long years of waiting, he would finally embark on his quest to be the best Pokémon trainer of all time!

He had been getting the 'pre-journey' speeches from his parents for weeks, and now the time to actually begin his quest was upon him. Looking back at his parents, staring proudly at him as they held each other, James felt slightly guilty that he was leaving for his great journey and leaving his good folks behind to live their humdrum life. As if reading his thoughts, James' mother spoke.

"It's time, honey," She told him, smiling. "Professor Oak is waiting, and I've packed your bag so it is all ready to go. You don't want to be late for your first Pokémon."

Suddenly the light flickered in his head and James, realizing what was actually in front of him, began to bolt out the door.

"Bye Mom, bye Dad!" He waved as he held his blue and white cell phone up, signifying that he'd call them later. "I'm off to start my journey! YEE HAW!"


To be continued...

 

[Ash&pikachuarethebest]

Hey this is brilliant it's one of the best that I have read so far I hope the next chapter is coming soon. Well done for your first chapter.

 

[Brawler360]

Hey this is brilliant it's one of the best that I have read so far I hope the next chapter is coming soon. Well done for your first chapter.

Hey, thanks for the review. The second Chapter will be up momentarily. Let me know what you think. It is comments like that which keep me inspired to keep writing!

P.S. If you have any comments or criticism on the story or anything about my writing at all, please let me know. Thanks!

 

[Brawler360]

Chapter 2 - Squirtle, I Choose You!



James stood outside the clean glass doors of the massive, technologically advanced white building. It actually wasn't that large, but the sheer advanced features it had around it really gave it a larger-than-life appearance. It only took James about ten minutes to walk to the Professor's lab, but the entire memory of the walk was erased due to his excitement for finally getting his first Pokemon. As if on cue, Professor Oak stepped outside to greet the brown-haired trainer.


"Hello there James!" The white-haired man spoke, wearing his trademark white lab coat and brown slacks. "Your mother called and told me you were on your way. You're a bit early, but I don't have any other trainers scheduled today, so we can begin."


"Awesome," James said aloud, following the Professor as he stepped through the doors. "You get right down to business, don't you?"


The white-haired man laughed.


"Not usually, but your mother told me how antsy you were to get started on your journey, so I'd hate to be the one to hold you back," The man replied. "So just step through this hallway and we'll begin."


Professor Oak motioned for James to follow him through the short hall and into a circular room. James eagerly obliged and finally saw what he was looking for. The room was home to several computers on its walls and a large, circular center console containing three Pokeballs. Each one had a name beneath it, each one the title of a specific Pokemon for starting trainers. Bulbasaur...Chamander...Squirtle...


"I know who I want," James said, before he was even asked. "I'll take Squirtle!"

Professor Oak nodded his head in acknowledgement.


"You're one step ahead of me," the old man told him. "First I need to give you your Pokedex. This handy little device will give you information on any Pokemon you come across simply by pointing at it."


"Thanks," James said as he took the red device from Oak.


There was silence for a moment, as James awaited Oak to give him his starting Pokemon.


"And now, James," the Professor said to him. "You may take your Pokemon."

Excitedly, James ran towards the table and snatched up the ball with the "Squirtle" label beneath it. He held it up in the air, celebrating this final moment of jubilation and achievement.


"YES!!!" James yelled in joy.


He then ran over to Professor Oak and shook his hand vigorously.


"Thank you so much!" He said to him.


"Don't mention it," Oak told him. "Nothing makes me happier than seeing vigor in young trainers setting off on their promising journeys."


As James was about to release the Pokemon, Oak stopped him.


"Wait until you get outside, please," The professor told him. "Getting to know your Pokemon outside is better for it, since it is more like its natural evironment."


"Okay, Professor," James said, tightening his fingerless gloves in preparation. "Thanks a lot."


"No problem James. I expect big things out of you, as with all the trainers that start their journeys with me. Don't forget about us back here in Pallet Town!"


James nodded.


"No problem," The new Pokemon Trainer told him. "I'm off then. I gotta get this thing started!"


And with that, James ran out of the lab and took off towards the still bright morning sun in the sky, ready to finally begin his very own Pokemon Journey!



To be continued...

 

[Brawler360]

Chapter 3 - Versus Rattata



"Route 1," James read aloud from the sign at the edge of Pallet Town's northern border. "To Viridian City. Well that's where I want to go."

And with that, James began walking along the fresh green grass through towards the distant Viridian City. That was his next destination and, if his memory served him correctly, there was a Pokemon Gym there as well. After a few minutes of walking along Route 1, he came across an open grassy area with a rather large tree providing ample amounts of shade. The sun was warming, but certainly not too hot. In fact, the new Pokemon Trainer thought the weather was perfect, with a slight breeze cooling him as it ran through his brown hair.

He was getting distracted. Now was the perfect moment for him to let out Squirtle and finally get to meet him. Taking the ball out of it's slot in his belt, James pressed the button in the center of the red and white orb and threw it towards the ground.

"Go Squirtle!" He said aloud as the ball opened up and the blue turtle-like Pokemon burst forth in a bright white light. The ball bounced back up and returned to James' hand.

The brown-shelled creature with the rounded curl on the end of his tail look around in confusion, obviously unsure of where he was or how he got there.

"Squirtle?" He said as he looked up at his Trainer. "Squirtle, squirt squirt?"

His voice was the slightly raspy, characteristic of most Squirtles.

James got down to his knees to greet his new companion.

"Hey buddy," He said, patting it on the top of the head. "My name is James, and I'm a Pokemon Trainer!"

Squirtle stared at him warily for a moment.

"Squirt?" It seemed to ask a question.

"Huh?" The Trainer replied, unsure of how to speak Pokemon language. "I don't understand. I'm your Pokemon Trainer. I'm here to train you so we can become the Pokemon Champions some day!"

The nearly two-foot tall Pokemon nodded its head as if it understood. Then, out of nowhere, it waddled towards James and hugged him tightly. James returned the favor, surprised, yet relieved at the same time. At least his Pokemon liked him. This was a good start.

"Okay Squirtle," He told the little turtle. "Care to do some Pokemon hunting so we can add to the team?"

"Squirtle, squirtle!" It said as it nodded its head in aggreement.

"RATTATA!!!!"

BAM!

In that one instant, James was taken off his feet by his assailant. The purple rat tackled the side of his head, knocking him to the ground and dazing him quite a bit. Instantly thereafter, the wild Pokemon spun around facing off against the blue turtle, ready to strike Squirtle down as well. The attacker, instead of attacking the Pokemon, turned its sights on James yet again and lunged at him, this time with its sharp and shining fangs bared, ready to sink them into his skin. Attempting to save its Trainer, the blue Pokemon lunged headfirst at the Rattata smashing into its side and knocking it into the large tree.

The wild Pokemon was obviously stunned from the attack, but due to its rapid aggression, it attacked once again as it dizzily ran towards Squirtle.

Having a free moment to recover himself, James got to his feet and allowed his brain to catch up on what was going on around him. Looking over, he saw his Squirtle locked in combat with the Rattata that attacked him. That little thing was vicious, that's for sure. Suddenly remembering his duties as a Pokemon Trainer, James issued his first command to Squirtle.

"Withdraw!" He yelled, noticing that the purple rat was about to bite his new companion.

Squirtle obeyed and the rat's teeth connected with the hard brown shell, but breaking off instantly. Momentarily stunned by what happened, the newly panicked Rattata took off at an amazing speed, having lost its major means of combat. Squirtle came out of his shell, panting from the encounter.

James walked over to his Pokemon, picking him up and congratulating him.
"Nice work Squirtle! You saved me big time there!"

"Squirt...," It said as its cheeked began glowing red in embarrassment.

James put him back on the ground and patted his head yet again.

"Well, I can already see we are going to make a great team, you and me," The Pokemon Trainer told the veteran of his first combat. "We let that one get away, but there are plenty of other Pokemon for us to catch out there!"

Nodding in agreement Squirtle high-fived his Trainer.

The warm summer breeze was strangely cooling after the heated encounter. Looking back towards Pallet Town, James could barely make out his house. This was probably that last time he would see it for a while, he thought to himself. Now it was just him and Squirtle in a massive, unknown world. How exciting!

"So buddy, you ready to take keep on keeping on? Let's see if we have any better luck on some more wild Pokemon!"

"Squirtle!" He said in agreement.

The two took off towards the grassy plains ahead of them at a leisurely pace. Looking around himself as they continued walking, James noticed that as he walked along the path with his Squirtle, a nice river could be seen up in the distance. Squirtle motioned towards it, obviously wanting to go to it for a short break.

"Sure thing, buddy," The new Pokemon Trainer said to him.

The two new parteners eventually got there, as James sat down along its edges with Squirtle jumping in for a little swim. The river was actually larger than it looked from a couple hundred yards back, but the current itself wasn't all too powerful. The sun sparkled off of James' blue eyes as he looked down to river to see where it led to. It appeared to feed into a small lake about 1 mile down stream to the East. He thought about going to check it out, but it was in a different direction of Viridian City, which was to the North. He decided he didn't have time for it.

Watching his little turtle Pokemon splash around in the river as he greatly enjoyed himself, James was filled with his own personal glee.

"I guess there is more to training Pokemon than fighting in battles," He said to himself.
After about fifteen minutes of relaxing, Squirtle decided it had had enough of the water for now and came out into the grass to dry itself off. James was, at the point, half-asleep on the soft green grass as he lay on his back, facing the noon-time bright blue sky. Squirtle walked over and tugged his black vest to wake him up. James opened his eyes and saw the happy blue Pokemon staring back at him.

"You ready to get going?" He asked.

"Squirtle, squirtle," He replied to his Trainer.

James slowly stood up and brushed the grass from his khaki pants.

"You want to get in the Pokeball so you don't have to walk the whole way?" James asked his Pokemon.

It nodded its head and James promptly shot out the red beam from the red and white ball, transporting Squirtle into it. The brown-haired Pokemon Trainer then continued along the path ahead of him after clearing the river which was in his way. Up ahead there was a large hill, and he started to hike it.

"OH NO!" A voice screamed from what appeared to be the other side of the hill. "GO WEEDLE!"

The person sounded like a younger boy and was in obvious desperation. Reacting instinctively, yet not really knowing what he expected to find, James sprinted up the hill towards the voice, hoping to be able to save this person. Hoping...


To be continued...

 

[Elite-Four-Mark]

Here's what happened when I read it:

1. I don't usually read fanfics, but this caught my eye.
2. I saw James's name and thought it was a fanfic about team rocket.
3. It turns out this is just an ordinary kid going on a quest.
4. I keep reading and it turns out IT ROCKS ANYWAY!

Serious you just changed my mind about PokeFanFics. The way you describe the characters and battle scenes gives a mental picture that many people may someday envy.

 

[Brawler360]

Here's what happened when I read it:

1. I don't usually read fanfics, but this caught my eye.
2. I saw James's name and thought it was a fanfic about team rocket.
3. It turns out this is just an ordinary kid going on a quest.
4. I keep reading and it turns out IT ROCKS ANYWAY!

Serious you just changed my mind about PokeFanFics. The way you describe the characters and battle scenes gives a mental picture that many people may someday envy.

Wow. Thanks a lot man. I've been working on this for a little while and I've got some ideas rolling around in my head. I do have a good idea for a twist too, so don't think it'll be just a plain-old quest the whole time (although that will remain an essential part of the story).

The next part should actually be up pretty soon. Thanks for the feedback. Also, if you see anything bad about this or anything I should change, let me know. It is far from perfect.

 

[Elite-Four-Mark]

Capitalization and spelling are sort of inconsistent, but that usually falls to the editor, so don't worry about that.

 

[icomeanon6]

It's nice to see a fic that was clearly proofread before being posted! I couldn't find any grammatical errors, but I could probably look with more scrutiny when I have the time. The description was terrific, and your writing has a definite charm to it, especially from a visualization standpoint. In short, it's pleasant to read.

My one complaint (which you addressed in your previous post) is that it is sort of a "plain-old quest." I suggest that you think long and hard about a way to make your story stand out a bit more. Try adding more characterization, it's easy to visualize how James looks, but think about ways to make his personality more unique.

It's a nice start, and I look forward to reading the rest of it!

 

[Brawler360]

Chapter 4 - The Pokemon Theft



James made his way to the top of the hill after having sprinted as quickly as his body allowed him, hoping that this boy would be okay. After making it to the top, he saw that, about twenty feet in front of himself, there was a short black-haired boy with thick-framed glasses wearing a blue t-shirt and white shorts. His skin was pale white and he wore plain black shoes with high socks. In front of him was a worm-like Pokemon with a gray spike on the top of its head. It had a large red nose and black beady eyes. James noticed that the Trainer and his Weedle were facing off against another Trainer who had his own Pokemon on his side.

This Trainer wore a solid black suit with a red "R" on his chest. He wore black boots and had short spiky silver hair. He was probably at least six-feet tall and fairly thin. The odd thing about him was that his right arm, instead of having a long black sleeve and a black glove, had a giant metal arm in its place. The arm appeared to be connected to a large metal backpack which appeared to be its power source. The black-suited Trainer stood behind a large, yellow Pokemon with brown spikes on its back and clawed hands. James quickly point his Pokedex at it to get a description.

"Sandslash," It started in its computerized voice. "This Pokemon curls up into a ball and rolls into foes with its back. Its sharp spines can inflict severe damage."

The Pokedex had given his position away as he noticed the man in with the silver hair and the short boy both stare at him as if taken by surprise.
"Who the heck are you, boy?" The man with the metal arm asked. "I see those Pokeballs on your belt. You better stay outta this, or I'm gonna take your Pokemon too!"

"Please help me!" The boy pleaded. "He already stole my other Pokemon that my father gave to me as a gift. Please! I'll pay you!"

James reacted instantly. Although he wasn't sure of what exactly was going on, he knew he had to help this poor boy. That silver-haired man with red eyes looked like he had a powerful Pokemon, but the blue-eyed Trainer didn't hesitate, and it wasn't because of the promise of money. He could care less at this point.

"Go Squirtle!" He shouted as his ball exploded in a burst of white light and his blue Pokemon came out.

"Ah, I see how it's going to be," The man told him. "Well I can use a Squirtle anyway. I hear they are pretty rare."

"Weedle, Poison Sting attack!" The boy ordered his Pokemon, obviously hoping to catch the enemy's Sandslash off guard.

Weedle lunged through the air, it's body straight as an arrow as it attempted to stab it's relatively large target. The enemy's Sandslash saw the attack coming, however, and quickly turned its back to the yellow worm, causing it to collide into Sandslash's hardened spines, damaging the Weedle as it rolled off to the side from the impact. James knew he needed to help out.

"Squirtle, use Bubble attack now!" He commanded.

The blue turtle sucked in a breath of air for a moment as it then blew a stream of bubbles at the Sandslash. The bubbles collided with the enemy Pokemon and it was sent stumbling backwards, obviously disliking the water attack greatly.

"Use your own Poison Sting Sandslash!" The man with the "R" shirt said.

Sandslash began charging at Squirtle at a very fast pace, hoping to stab it with its sharp, envenomed claws. It would be a very difficult attack to dodge.

"Weedle, String Shot now!" The boy with the shoulder-length black hair shouted to his worm Pokemon.

The Weedle quickly shot a stream of sticky substance from its mouth as it wrapped up the Sandslash, slowing it down significantly.

"Alright Squirtle, dodge it and counter with Head Butt!" James told the brown-shelled Pokemon.

Squirtle jumped over the top of the now slowed Sandslash and landed behind it. Quickly turning around as it landed, Squirtle then launched itself back at its opponenet, slamming Sandslash in the back of its head with the top of the blue Pokemon's head. Sandslash was driven into the ground as it took the full force of the attack. Squirtle jumped backwards and landed next to its new partener in combat, Weedle.

"Okay Weedle, let's finish it with another Poison Sting!" The black-haired boy ordered.

"And you use Tackle!" James ordered his Squirtle.

The two Pokemon launched themselves at their momentarily stunned target, both of them slamming into it with the full force of their attacks. The Sandslash was thrown backwards into the air as it fainted from the powerful attacks.

"No!" The black-suited man hollared as he returned his Sandslash into its Pokeball.

He looked at his enemies, obviously upset that he wasn't able to steal their Pokemon.

"You little runts! This isn't the last time you've heard from Slate, or Team Rocket!"

Suddenly, he formed a large white ball of energy in his metal hand and blasted it into the ground. Instantly, a bright white light flashed forth, blinding James, Weedle, Squirtle and the boy with the thick-framed glasses. After a few moments of stumbling around blindly, James was able to compose himself and returned Squirtle into his ball after congratulating him. He then walked over to the boy.

"Are you okay?" He asked him. "What did that guy want?"

"Yeah," The boy said, appearing as though he was on the verge of tears. "But...but...he took my Pokemon..."

"Oh no!" James said. "How many did he take?"

"Just one," The boy said. "It was a Pinsir my father gave me to start my Pokemon Journey. Now it's gone..."

James attempted to console the boy, but there wasn't much he was going to say. Slate, as this guy called himself, had obviously had plenty of time to run away from them, and was probably nowhere close at this point.

"I can help you get Yanma back," James told the boy. "I'm James. What's your name?"

"My name is Bobby," The blue-shirted boy said to him.

James put his hand on Bobby's shoulder.

"Well let's go to Viridian City. There's bound to be someone who saw him there. If he's after Trainers' Pokemon, that's probably where he is headed. My Dad says there are plenty of Trainers there.," James told Bobby. "Whaddya say?"

Slightly reassured by the comforting stranger's offer to help, the brown eyed boy accepted the offer.

"I would greatly appreciate the help," Bobby told James.

So the two Trainers took off North, on their way to Viridian City in search of this guy from 'Team Rocket'.


To be continued...

 

[Astinus]

Congratulations, your story is the first that I decided to really review for my grand return! Hurrah!

"Mom must've turned the volume up on it after I went to bed...," He said aloud.

Your ellipses (...) is the ending punctuation for the dialogue. This means that you don't need that comma. Also, "he said aloud" is a dialogue tag, meaning that it's part of the dialogue, so "he" is lower-cased. There's a stickied grammar guide in the Lounge that'll explain it better.

"Eight-o-one,"

Full stop instead of a comma.

"Good morning sweety!" His mother said to him as he came down the stairs.

Same problem here. "His" needs to be lower-cased. Also, there needs to be a comma after "morning" since it's a direct address. And this will be the last time that I point this out to you, since the mistake runs rampant through your chapter.

His Dad always gave him the coolest stuff. So he pulled up a chair and sat down, indulging in the scrumptious meal his Mom had made for him.

The only time that you capitalize "Mom" or "Dad" is when those words take the place of the real name. So, only when the word can replace the real name does it get capitalized. You wouldn't say "His Jack", would you? It's like that.

He couldn't believe it, his journey was finally about to begin, after three long years of waiting, he would finally embark on his quest to be the best Pokémon trainer of all time!

Since I haven't read the other chapters, I'm not sure if you ever said how old James is. I'm going to assume that he's ten, since that's when trainers can start their journeys. But you said that he's been waiting to go on this quest for the last three years. So has he been waiting since he turned seven, or did he just wait until he was thirteen? But he said that he's now the correct age to leave, so did you up the age? This is just something that bothered me.

Other than that, I'm not going to comment on much else. Well, except for the fact that you mentioned everything else that James wore, except for shoes. XD He put on socks, but you never mentioned shoes. That was amusing to me.

I can't tell yet where the plot is going, and it's only the first chapter, so I'm going to wait to see where else you go with this. I should be able to review the other two chapters soon.

But hey, this does look good now. Aside from your problems with dialogue, you did a good job on spelling and other grammar mistakes. And you have description and narration, meaning that you're not just relying on dialogue to move your story along. Great job there!

Can't wait to see more! ^^

 

[Elite-Four-Mark]

I guess it's agreed-your story will get people reading fanfics.

But yeah what icomeanon said; I have no doubt that you will do something to make your story stand out, but it's a good thing just to keep it in mind at all times. One can make a story go very bland without realizing it. It happens no matter how good you are.

But one thing

"Squirtle, use Bubble attack now!" He commanded.

Should be

"Squirtle, use Bubble, now!" He commanded.

They don't call them attacks when talking to the pokemon. And regardless there should be a comma there.

 

[Brawler360]

Thanks for all the comments guys. Here's Chapter 5! I'll be able to respond to them a little later, when I'm not as pressed for time. Enjoy!



Chapter 5 - Mike vs Slate



Before reaching Viridian City, James and Bobby had a conversation to get to know each other along their Route 1 voyage as night slowly crept up on them.

"So you're from Viridian City?" James asked the short boy.

"Yep," The black-haired youth responded. "Born and raised. I just turned ten last week, and I had been training with my Pinsir every day up until this afternoon when that thief stole him. I just caught my Weedle two days ago, and have been training him also along Route 1 here. My Dad says I'm a really good Pokemon Trainer for a 10-year-old."

"That's cool. I just started my journey this morning with Squirtle here," James said, pointing to his Pokeball. "You are actually pretty good for a 10-year-old though. I'm sixteen. My parents wouldn't let me start my own Pokemon journey until they thought I was responsible enough to take care of my Pokemon, so that's why I'm just barely starting out."

"Thanks for the help back there though," Bobby told the brown-haired. "I'm just really mad that that guy took off with my Pinir. My father actually hatched it from his own Pokemon's egg for me."

"How did that guy steal it though?" James asked. "I thought it was impossible for other Pokemon Trainers to steal Pokemon from their opponents by throwing Pokeballs at them? Not to mention...it is illegal isn't it?"

"Normally it is," The young boy said. "But that strange device he had on his arm allowed him to do so with very little effort. He grabbed a regular looking Pokeball from his belt with the robot arm and all of a sudden it went from red and white to black and white. He threw it at my Pinsir and the ball caught him without even a struggle. I don't know how he did it. It seemed though, like he imbued the regular Pokeball into some sort of evil Pokeball, because it had this black swirling mist around it, allowing him to steal my Pinsir."

"Huh," The brown-haired Trainer said. "That's really odd. Well, as soon as we find this guy I'll be sure to get your Pinsir back for you. I can't imagine what it feels like getting your own Pokemon stolen."

"Thanks James. You're really nice to me," Bobby said.

Finally, the two Trainers arrived in Viridian City after finishing their trek along the winding grassy path. The city itself was actuallly larger than Pallet Town, but not by a heck of a lot. James noticed that the sun had gone down, and he pulled out the blue and white cell-phone his mother gave him to check the time. This also reminded him that he needed to call her at some point.

"Eight o' four," James told Bobby. "We should think about finding a hotel to stay at for the night so we can resume our search in the morning."
"Did you forget already?" The short Trainer told James. "I live here, remember? We can stay at my house for the night."

"Alright, sounds good!" James replied. In truth, he had forgotten. Bits of information like that eluded his perception sometimes.

So the two walked ten minutes to Bobby's house, which itself was actually very big and lavishly decorated inside. These people obviously were fairly well off. James met both of Bobby's parents, and they were very nice. After informing them of what actually took place that day, they were very upset with the situation, but not at Bobby. His father consoled him and told him they would inform the proper authorities tonight and he would help him search in the morning.

So they all went to bed and, bright and early at 6 a.m., James was awoken by the fragrance of Bobby's mother's wonderful cooking. He crawled out of bed, got dressed, and went out to the kitchen to find all of them gathered around the table, eating what looked to be a lavish breakfast. Eggs, pancakes, sausages! This wasn't such a bad idea after all.

He joined them and, after they finished eating, James, Bobby and the small boy's father set out on their search.

"Now, Bobby," His father, Mike, told him. "Whatever happens, I know you can handle yourself, but I want you to get stay close to me and stay behind me. We are dealing with Team Rocket, and these guys are cowards and tricksters at best. They won't hesitate to attack you just because you are a kid."

"Affirmative," The intelligent Trainer replied.

"Where are we going to look?" James asked Mike. "The guy never really mentioned a specific hideout."

"Oh please," Mike responded to the eager youth. "Everyone knows Team Rocket sets up their base of operations beneath the Viridian City Gym. The locals are all just too afraid to do anything about it, including the police! When I called them last night, they said there was nothing they could do. Obviously, they are either afraid of Team Rocket or paid off by the criminals. Their crime boss, Giovanni, is the 'Gym Leader' there, but it is only a front. His Gym is only a few minutes away. That's where we are headed for our answers, and your Pokemon, Bobby."

During the brief walk through Viridian City, James could feel the tension rising, as well as his own apprehension as to what was actually going to happen. Was Bobby's Dad a good enough Trainer to take on Team Rocket all by himself? He certainly hoped so...

When they arrived at the Viridian City Gym, James was very surprised by how big it actually was. Having never actually seen a Pokemon Gym in real life, the sheer size of it certainly threw him off for a moment. The doors to the building were rather large, ornately decorated with symbols of ground type Pokemon with the word GYM over the doors themselves.

Mike grabbed the handles, trying to pry them open. It was no use against the massively sturdy structures.

"What do we do?" James asked Bobby's dad. "Those doors look pretty sturdy, and I know Squirtle here can't break them down."
"Oh, I'm sure they are sturdy," Mike said as he looked at James. "But let's just see HOW sturdy..."

Mike took a Pokeball from his belt and released the Pokemon by tossing the ball forward. The creature came out in a flash of bright white light, and was it a sight to behold. Standing four feet tall and being fully clad in armor and spikes, James knew this thing was a bruiser. It's purple hue made it look all the more menacing. James quickly held up his Pokedex, intent of getting a reading of the large spiked Pokemon.

"Nidoking, the Drill Pokemon," The computerized voice began. "One swing of Nidoking's mighty tail can snap a telephone pole in two as if it were a match stick."

Well, James thought to himself. If there was a Pokemon around that could break down these doors, it was definitely Nidoking here.
"Okay Nidoking," Mike said, wasting no time in commanding his obviously energized and prepared-for-combat Pokemon. "Break down that door with Horn Drill!"

Instantly, the large armored Pokemon stomped towards the door, shaking the ground as it went. Thrusting its massive horn in its center, the door easily shattered into multiple pieces, crashing to the ground. Nidoking gave a brief roar of triumph, causing James to cover his ears do to the powerful, audible blast.

"Good job, Nidoking," Mike complimented it as he returned it to its Pokeball. He then turned to his son and James. "Let's go get that Pinsir back, boys."

James, in stunned disbelief, managed to shut his gaping mouth as he continued forward into the building in his dazed state. The inside was what appeared to be a massive arena, the center of which had a giant, white painted Pokeball in the center of the floor, with a chair on the far wall. It looked like something Giovanni would sit in to wait for opponents; challengers for his Badge. It was empty at this time, shrouded in darkness, along with the rest of the stadium. That's what the inside of this place was, in fact. A large square stadium with bleachers surrounding it leading high towards the rafters. It was at this point that James go his first real appreciation of how important Gym Battles really were. Crowds of people watched them? Yikes. That was kind of scary for the new Trainer.

"Alright then," The obviously skilled Pokemon Trainer said, almost as if talking to himself. "Apparently this place is abandoned. Apparently..."
James looked around, but couldn't see much due to the lack of light. The corners, especially on the far end of the stadium, were impossible to make out despite the natural sunlight coming in through the front doors.

After exploring the room for a bit, staying nearby Mike, at his orders, the trio had found no clues as to the whereabouts of the stolen Pokemon.
Suddenly, a voice could be heard coming from the outside. The three of them hid in the corner, behind the bleachers, as the figure entered the Gym, intent on getting a surprise attack on the potential member of Team Rocket.

"...damn it! Those guys never tell me anything and...holy crap. What happened to the doors? Guys? GUYS!?" The person shouted.

Then Mike made his move. Diving out from cover like a secret agent in a spy movie, he hurled one of his Pokeballs at the door. It landed flawlessly between the strange person's legs as the Pokemon burst forth in a flash of light. The Pokemon that now stood behind the man just inside the building could be described in one word. Muscles.

"CHOKE!" It roared as it stood there, just as tall as the man in front of him, but obviously much stronger.

It grabbed the man by the back of his neck and held him straight up in the air, holding him in the light. Mike walked slowly towards the struggling person, and James and Bobby followed suit. Getting closer, James instantly recognized his silver hair and red eyes along with the black suit and the Dark Pack.

"SLATE!" He yelled aloud. "Give back Bobby's Pokemon!"

"Oh you dumb kids!" He yelled, and was then smacked with Machoke's free arm, shutting him up instantly.

"I hear you have my kid's Pokemon," Mike told Slate. "Give it back you Team Rocket scum, or I'll let Machooke take it from you. And trust me, he'll like that."

Slate attempted to squirm free once more, but to no avail. Machoke's strength was completely overwhelming the relatively weak human.
"Look, I don't know what is going on! I was told to meet all the Team Rocket guys here, but I guess they changed locations at the last minute and nobody told me! Please just let me go!" He shouted.

"Oh, we'll let you go," Mike said as he nodded to Machoke as if giving some sort of order.

The hulking mass of muscle quickly ripped the Dark Pack from Slate's pack, the metal arm coming off with it. The two objects clattered to the floor as a lone Pokeball rolled out. It was black and white.

"That must be Pinsir!" Bobby said as he ran over to inspect the object.

"Thanks buddy," Mike said to Machoke "Let's take him over to the prison so we can be done with this creep."

And an hour later, after handing Slate over to the authorities (despite much protest from the Team Rocket Grunt) and getting Bobby his Pokeball with Pinsir back, James began parting ways with the duo. He was glad he had helped in some way, but needed to be off to Pewter City. He had a Pokemon Journey to continue!

"I gotta be off guys," He told Mike and Bobby outside the Viridian City Police Department. "I'm glad I could help, but I have to be off to Pewter City. I'm trying to collect all the Gym Badges."

"Me too," Bobby piped up suddenly. "Can I join you?"

There was a moment of silence from the small boy. He was obviously expecting James to refuse the offer, it seemed. Mike's dad, showing affection for his son, patted him on the shoulder, attempting to console him.

"Fine by me," James told him as Bobby's eyes lit up with glee. The boy's father seemed slightly surprised as well "I could use a good companion anyway."

And, as Bobby walked over to join his new partner, James gave him a big high five.

"Alright boys," Mike told them. "I saved you once from those guys, but I won't be around if Team Rocket attacks again. Be safe, and stay together. Bobby knows my number if you get into any trouble, but I'm not gonna be just five minutes away."

"Thanks Mike," The blue-eyed Trainer said to him. "We'll be seeing you then."

"Bye dad!" Bobby said his father. "I'll call you! I promise!"

And so James and Bobby, two Pokemon Trainers beginning their journey with Mike's 'blessing' , set off for Pewter City, ready to challenge their first Gym Leader!

"Good luck, boys," Mike said to himself as he watched to two content companions jogging off into the distance.


To be continued...

 

[Elite-Four-Mark]

Woah. Only published bestsellers are supposed to leave me with that heavy feeling. I need to sit and think for a bit...

 

[Brawler360]

Woah. Only published bestsellers are supposed to leave me with that heavy feeling. I need to sit and think for a bit...

Wow, thanks again.

I'm really sorry about all the grammatical errors and lack of detail and description in certain areas. I promise to spend more time on my next Chapter. Hopefully it'll be up by tomorrow!

 

[Elite-Four-Mark]

Hey, brawler, would you consider joining Eye to Eye Media? It's this little online group of about 20 people I set up, and we're looking for people with your kind of talent, especially in writing. I won't link to it but it's in my sig in case you're up for it.

 

[Brawler360]

To Elite-Four-Mark: I'm not so sure about that place. What is it for? Just a writier's guild? Some more information about it would be great. Would I just be posting my story up there?

To Everyone Else: Chapter 6 on its way. Stay tuned!

 

[Brawler360]

Chapter 6 - Trista and Scyther



After following along the path outside of Viridian City, which headed North, James and Bobby finally hiked along the relatively short Route 2 and made their way into the nearby Viridian Forest.

It was actually a quite expansive place and, after an hour or two of wandering around the dense foliage filled with trees and tall grass, the duo found their way into a large opening of short grass, appearing as though it was regularly cared for and trimmed. Catching a whiff of freshly cut grass, James thought this was rather odd.

"Have you ever heard of any stories of people living in Viridian Forest?" James asked the shorter Bobby. "Because I thought it was inhabited only by wild Pokemon."
The black-haired boy did seem puzzled as well.

"This is certainly out of the ordinary," The boy with glasses replied as he adjusted them. "Perhaps if we investigate our surroundings a bit we can figure out why this is so."

He then took one of the Pokeballs from his belt, shouting,

"Go, Pinsir!"

With a burst of light as the Pokeball hit the fresh grass, a large, brown Pokemon came out, equipped with large gray claws and a fierce mouth, full of what appeared to be very sharp teeth. It was actually rather intimidating.

"PINSIR!" The near five foot-tall Pokemon said as it surveyed it surroundings
aggressively, as if almost ready to fight any opponent which came across its path. It was definitely a vicious Pokemon.

"Calm down, Pinsir," Bobby told his Pokemon. "He's very aggressive like this," The boy told his partner in the black vest. He then turned back to his Pokemon. "Okay Pinsir, go into the forest and see if you can find any other humans around here. Hurry back."

"Sir," It said, acknowledging its Trainer as it rushed into the surrounding trees, eager for action as it smashed branches aside.

"Well, I might as well let out Squirtle while we are just standing around for a bit," James said as he took out the Pokeball from his belt and released his blue turtle Pokemon in a burst of light.

"Squirtle!" He cried as he came out, very excited to see his Trainer.

"Okay Squirtle," James told him. "I have a job for you. Help Bobby's Pinsir find the who is behind this forest clearing."

It nodded as it understood and took off towards the opposite end of the roughly 100-yard square foot area.

Once James and Bobby had made it towards the middle of the place, Pinsir had come back into the clearing and was apparently trying to alert them.Pointing up high into the air, the large bug Pokemon was obviously indicating that something was headed their way.

"What is it Pinsir?" Bobby yelled up to his first Pokemon.

Suddenly, a voice called form behind them.

"Scyther, come!"

Looking towards where the two of them had entered the clearing, another person stood their, calling to what appeared to be a Pokemon only she could see. Then the large green blur darted past Pinsir as it stood there, coming from the direction the brown beetle Pokemon had indicated.

"SCYTHER!" It cried in its shrill voice as it flew towards its apparent Trainer's side with blinding speed.

The person appeared to be about James' age, except for the fact that she was a bit taller. With waist-length green hair and piercing yellow eyes, she wore a golden tank-top shirt with a green skirt to go with it. Although he didn't know much about her, James was fairly certain she had a very outgoing personality.

"Hey there," She said, greeting the two Trainers. "I'm Trista, and this is my training ground for me and Scyther. Say hi, Scyther."

"Scy!" It said, waving a blade in greeting.

"Heya," James said back as his Squirtle came to his side, following the example that Bobby's Pinsir had done with its own Trainer.

"So I assume you guys are on your way to Pewter City to challenge the Gym Leader there, right?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

"Um...yeah," James responded, slightly taken aback by her 'to-the-point' nature. That, and the fact that she was actually very pretty. Stumbling over which words to use for a moment, he finally responded. "How...how'd you know what we're up to?"

"That's what everyone who comes through here wants," She told him. "Although half of them give up and head back to Viridian City. Some people just can't handle bug Pokemon like me, I guess..."

It was at this point that James realized she was either joking or very high on herself. However, that wasn't his main concern at the moment.

"Hey I'm a bug Pokemon Trainer too!" Bobby finally piped up. "This is my Pinsir!"
"You're a smart little kid," She told him. "People always underestimate the power of a strong bug type. Especially my Scyther here. He's the fastest Pokemon I've ever seen. Right Scyther?"

"Scyther," It said, nodding in agreement.

"Yep," James said under his breath to himself. "Definitely full of herself."
And then she cut to the point.

"So you guys wanna battle?" She asked. "I mean, your Pokemon do look a little inexperienced, but I'm sure you can make some sort of challenge for Scyther here, maybe."

A little hesitant to act on such a bold challenge, James was too late. Bobby spoke up before him.

"I'd love to battle with you!" Bobby told her. "I'm sure I could pick up a few pointers from a good bug Pokemon Trainer such as yourself."

"You have no idea," She said to him. "Alright then. Let's do this. Go, Scyther."

And without hesitation, her green bug Pokemon with blades for arms zipped towards the middleground between the two Trainers, waiting for its adversary.

"Okay then," Bobby said, turning to Pinsir. "Get in there, and show them what you are capable of!"

The large stag-beetle stomped into the makeshift arena, facing down its new
opponent. It was more than pleased to be battling a new foe.

"Okay, Pinsir, let's start off with vice grip!"

Responding instantly, the brown bug Pokemon sprinted at full speed, its claws flexing in anticipation of a target, towards the green Scyther, aiming to crush it utterly.

"Scyther, dodge it with double team!"

Reacting sooner than the order had even left its Trainer's mouth, Sycther quickly mutiplied into half a dozen different targets, all looking completely identical. Confused as to who to hit, but still willing to follow its Trainer's orders, Pinsir darted at the nearest target. Selecting the wrong one, Pinsir charged through the false adversary, instead ramming into the ground and damaging itself slightly, kicking up chunks of freshly cut grass and dirt. Getting extremely angered by this, it quickly jumped to its feet to face down its remaining targets, all non-mobile.

"Wow, that's amazing!" Bobby exclaimed. "I've never seen that technique before!"
"Just keep watching," Trista said, soaking in the praise. "It gets better. Now Scyther, counter attack!"

Instantly, all five green Pokemon lunged at Pinsir, bearing their blades overhead and ready to strike.

"Pinsir, use focus energy now!"

Following orders, the eager Pinsir focused in on its own attack power, readying a powerful blow. Eventually, being able to pinpoint the real Scyther, using its now heightened senses, Pinsir was able to dodge its real foe, leaping high into the air and deftly evading damage.

"Damn!" Trista shouted. "That's not fair at all! No one has ever beaten that combo before!"

"Statistically, that is the best counter to that...well...counter," Bobby said, obviously pleased with his tactical performance. "Now Pinsir, Bind!"

The bug Pokemon then charged once again, this time knowing for sure which was its real target, directing the attack at the quick Scyther. The bladed Pokemon, however, was still too quick for its adversary.

"Fury cutter now!" Trista ordered her agile warrior.

Scyther darted around the stagbeetle Pokemon and came in from the side, slashing wildly with blinding speed and surprising accuracy and technique. Pinsir made several attempts to dodge the whirling assault of sharp blades, however it was clipped many times and, eventually, was felled by a near-fatal stroke to the back of its neck. Pinsir was slammed into the ground from the force of the barrage, skidding along the grass and kicking up dirt from the force of it. Sliding to its Trainers feet, Bobby quickly summoned it back to its Pokeball.

"Return, Pinsir!" The black-haired boy said. He then turned to his partener. "James, did you see how fast that Pokemon was? That was incredible!"

"Your strategy was good," The blue-eyed James told his partner. "But that Scyther was wicked fast. Good work though. You did really well."

"Oh," Bobby said to him. "I'm not done yet. I still have one Pokemon left."

Slightly shocked that Bobby would dare send in his Weedle against the much larger and faster Scyther, James advised against it.

"You think that's such a good idea, buddy?" He asked Bobby. "You haven't exactly had a heck of a lot of time to train that Weedle."

"Are you done already?" Trista hollered to them, obviously eager to claim victory.
"No way!" Bobby yelled back. "I still have one Pokemon left. Are you ready for it? Go Weedle!"

And before James could stop the young Trainer, the ball had left his hand and the small, brown-yellow worm-like Pokemon burst forth from its ball.

"WEEDLE!" It cried.

"Haha, that's it?" Trista chastised the Trainer. "You're in for a rough time. My Scyther takes out Weedles in groups at a time for training! Go Scyther, and use quick attack to get this over with quickly."

"Scy!" It shouted as it zipped toward Weedle with its near un-traceable speed.
"Weedle, slow it down with string shot, quick!" Bobby exclaimed.

But before Bobby could even give the whole order, almost as soon as the Pokemon had appeared from its ball, it had already begun shooting its sticky webbing, except something was wrong. Instead of shooting at Scyther, it was shooting the stringy substance into the air, covering itself in the yellow material instead as it fell back towards the ground.

"WEEDLE!" Bobby shouted at it. "What are you DOING!?"

"Hahaha," Trista laughed yet again. "Oh man, this is too easy. Have you even TRAINED that Pokemon?"

And almost as soon as it had begun, Weedle stopped webbing itself. Except there was no more Weedle. In its place was something completely different.

The new figure was slightly bigger than what had stood there before. It appeared to be a giant cocoon of yellow armor, and it had piercing black eyes.

"KAKUNA!" It said rather loudly.

Scyther hadn't stopped its attack however and, right as the Kakuna appeared, the green blade-master slashed the cocoon from the side, knocking it along the ground and sending it rolling. Instantly righting itself and appearing to have taken very little damage, the Pokemon stared down its opponent yet again.

Taking out his Pokedex quickly, despite the surpirse James held for seeing the sight in front of him, he pointed it at the cocooned Pokemon.

"Kakuna, the cocoon Pokemon," The computerized voice started. "While awaiting evolution, it hides from predators under leaves and in nooks of branches. Its armor can be more durable than stone."

There was a moment's pause.

"YES!!" Bobby shouted in glee. "My Weedle evolved into Kakuna! WOOHOO!"
And it was true. Trista was not very happy of course, as she stomped the ground furiously.

"Oh whatever," She said, stunned herself at the occurance. "You ready to finish this or what? You've only given yourself a disadvantage, really. Your Pokemon is slower than it was before!"

"Speed isn't everything," Bobby grinned as he looked at James. "Now! Harden Kakuna!"
The yellow Pokemon then turned gray and shiny for a moment, increasing the thickness of its armor by many times.

"Don't let it do that Scyther, quickly, use slash!" Trista yelled.

But the yellow Pokemon had a sufficient amount of time to protect itself and, as soon as the green speed-demon's blade made contact with the armored foe, the sharp edge cracked. Kakuna remained motionless, unharmed by the attack. Scyther quickly withdrew its blade, backing off in fear of hurting itself more.

"Scyther, return," Trista said as she transported her Pokemon back into its back with a beam of red light, finally admitting defeat.

"Good job Kakuna! We won!" Bobby shouted as he ran over to his yellow companion, hugging it tightly.

The new Pokemon still remained motionless, not reacting at all to its Trainer. Returning his Pokemon into its ball, he walked over to shake his opponent's hand.
"Nice job Trista," He said. "Your Scyther really had me on the ropes for a while there."
Refusing for a moment, Trista finally realized that she had to shake her opponent's hand. He had bested her, and that was that.

"Yeah, yeah," She said, frustrated with the result of the match.

Running a hand through her long green hair, she grabbed Bobby's hand and gave him a half-hearted hand-shake.

"I thought it was a pretty good match," James told the two of them. "Both of you guys really know your Pokemon well. I'm impressed."

"Sure," The girl said, still upset.

James, admittedly, found it difficult to see such a pretty girl in such an angry state. He figured he'd go over and try to see if he could cheer her up at all.

"Don't you guys have somewhere to be?" She asked the two of them. "Just because you beat me doesn't give you the right to stand around and...oh no..."

There was silence as she cut herself off from her speech.

"...what?" James asked her after a moment, very concerned by the new look of terror on her face. "What's wrong?"

"Run..." She said softly.

Suddenly, a large thumping was heard...no...FELT...in the not-so-distant area, rumbling the earth beneath their feet.

"RUN!" She shouted to James, grabbing Bobby by the wrist and yanking him off into the forest, as she dragged him behind her as she sprinted at a breakneck pace into the surrounding trees.

Not wanting to meet whatever had such a skilled Pokemon Trainer so frightened, James raced after her and Bobby, hoping to be able to out-pace this unknown threat...


To be continued...

 

[Astinus]

Chapter two's review:

"Awesome," James said aloud, following the Professor as he stepped through the doors.

"Professor" doesn't need to be capitalized here. It's the same thing as the "mom/dad" thing I explained last review.

The white-haired man laughed.

The problem with this line is that you already said that Prof. Oak is a white-haired man. You could use another form of description to identify him, or just use either a pronoun or his name.

Each one had a name beneath it, each one the title of a specific Pokemon for starting trainers. Bulbasaur...Chamander...Squirtle...

Another repetition. See if you can find a different way to say that the names were of the specific Pokemon for starting trainers. It's best to avoid repetition where you can, if that's not the effect you're going for.

"Getting to know your Pokemon outside is better for it, since it is more like its natural evironment."

Firstly, it's "environment". Secondly, Pallet Town is a farming town located near a forest. It really doesn't strike me as Squirtle's natural environment, so I don't know how secure it's going to feel. Especially if there's no water around, which would be good for Squirtle. (But I'm probably just over-thinking this. XD)

And one last note: Your spacing seemed off this chapter. Sometimes, you had one line between paragraphs, and other times you had two. It's just something that struck me.

I'm still not really feeling James's character. So far, he still acts like the typical "yay, I'm a trainer!" character. There's no real depth to his character yet. I'm hoping that the later chapters will begin to reveal more of his character.

Still not much to say about the plot, since you're taking your time with that.

You're still looking rather well, in overall terms of everything. I'm going to have to see how well the rest goes! ^^

-

Elite-Four-Mark, post just to advertise your forum like that again and get an official warning. It's spam.

 

[Elite-Four-Mark]

Sorry about the advertising. I need to stop talking about it, because everywhere I go I regret it. For my sake and yours I will stop and do what I came here to do-have a good time.

Also I disagree with you about squirtle. First, I assume he was talking about outside versus inside as of which was the natural environment. Second, pallet town has a sea route to the south, and the forest isn't for quite a ways north. By all logic it is closer to the water than to the forest, meaning that Brawler's logic, though imperfect, is pretty dead-on.