SBaby
Dungeon Master
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- Seen Apr 9, 2015
I did a one-shot of this awhile ago. Well, since then it just so happens that I've gotten a whole bunch of new ideas of how to make it even more entertaining (or more annoying, depending on your point of view). So, Pokemon-SPC is back.
As before, this stars Ash, Misty, and Brock, and has absolutely NO relevance to the Anime series whatsoever. But, that's the way things go in something like this. So don't go complaining about how Ash should actually have Zork and Misty should have some other Water Pokemon. Although Zork would be kind of cool... No! I will NOT rip off Yu-Gi-Oh!!! Must... resist... temptation... And please don't say this isn't realistic. I get a chuckle every time someone says that about a Pokemon Fic. Funniest criticism I've ever read, I swear.
If you like the idea or just want to give feedback, feel free to do so. If you really like it, then pay homage to a legendary series by checking out the SPC series (though it's impossible to find it anywhere other than online now). And yes, some of the lines were 'borrowed' from SPC and Poke-ised. Particularly, in this first episode. Also as before, there'll be movie quotes, as well as other stuff that's just made up on the spot.
And please remember, this is supposed to be a HUMOR Fic. So please don't take any offense. And yes, it's in Script Format. Just putting that out for y'all right away.
This is Pokemon - SPC style - best described as the stuff the audience DOESN'T see and the stuff the writers probably wouldn't WANT you to see. It isn't literal, it isn't figurative, and the title doesn't really mean much. It just is.
And criticism is fine, suggestions are fine, just no flaming. And remember, this is the first Episode. It'll probably be kind of cheesy.
Key:
<> = Scene in Dialogue.
{} = Inner Monologue
Narrator = The invisible voice that tells you what's going on, while largely making it up on his own.
Scene: A vast shot of Saffron City at midday (since Pallet Town isn't 'city enough' to start our adventure in). As the camera zooms out to show more of the city, and the angles switch to show the streets, where people are going about their daily business...
Narrator: Welcome to Saffron City, our home town. Kinda like your home town - that is, if your home town was populated by talking cats, fire breathing lizards and other cartoon characters. Saffron City, the city of contrast - where incomes are high, cholesterol levels are low, everyone gets cable TV, and yet, a place where great street vendors are still a common sight. Saffron City, where the old meets the new.
Random Street Merchant: <standing in front of a sign that reads, Diverso-Mart> Fresh mackerel, Discount Poke-Balls, DVD Players, get 'em while they're hot!!!
Narrator: Saffron City, home of the national tag team mahjong champions, the world's third largest Oran Berry, and the destination of our heroes, Ash, Misty and Brock - the bravest heroes ever to walk the Poke-world...
Scene: Ash is startled by a Pichu jumping out of the door of a building that the gang is walking past. He jumps back and lands on his rear. After a second, he gets up again.
Narrator: Ok, I might have been exaggerating...
Scene: Pikachu simply shakes his head in the familiar 'it figures' fashion.
Ash: Well, he jumped out all of a sudden and...
Misty: Yeah, sure... Can we get going now?
Brock: Max and May are waiting for us.
Ash: ... {Sure, don't even ask if I've been hurt...}
Scene: The trio meets up with May and Max, who are in the Pokemon Center.
Max: Looks like you survived.
May: That's good, we can't afford to replace anymore cast members. Gary quit, Drew walked out, and Shinji released himself for being too weak. We don't even have the budget for a rival.
Brock: Whoa!!!
Scene: Brock, both in character and out of character at the same time, runs over to Nurse Joy. In the process, he tramples Ash.
Brock: <grabbing Nurse Joy's hand> I once met a girl named Joy, who's pretty voice could make me coy, her lovers would sigh, to the heavens they cry...
Max & Misty: <pulling Brock's ears> Alright, come on. Let's get out of her way lover boy...
Ash: <still flattened on the ground, as Max, Misty and Brock walk over him> Hey... What's the big deal?
Misty: <looking at Ash> Oh, I didn't see you there...
Ash: You treat me like a doormat, Misty...
Scene: Outside...
Narrator: In all seriousness though, this isn't the time to be goofing off. For outside, the evil Teeeeeam Rocket is plotting their next insidious scheme.
Scene: Jessie, James and Meowth look into the Pokemon Center from a window. As always, nobody notices them doing this, even though the streets are filled with people.
Jessie: This is the perfect opportunity to unveil our next insidious scheme. Just look at them in there...
James: The twerps, ripe for the taking...
Meowth: We can distract dem, and den nab Pikachu right from under der noses! Dis is so exciting! I love drama! How do you deal wit drama?
James: I lift one eyebrow and look ominous.
Scene: James lifts an eyebrow and gives a mad scientist glare left and right.
Meowth: At least ya have eyebrows, I've been forced ta go tru life without any. I find dis highly amusing. We will now laugh.
Scene: Team Rocket begins laughing. Still, nobody notices them acting all crazy and maniacal by the window.
Meowth: <while laughing> {I won't need eyebrows ta help me defeat Ash and his twerps though... With my new robot, dey won't stand a chance!}
Narrator: Well, at least he didn't say 'ghost of a chance'...
Scene: Jessie, James and Meowth head down the street, and out of view.
Narrator: At this point, you might be wondering, 'Where is Team Rocket going?'. Then again, you might also be wondering, 'Why am I still reading this stupid Fic?'. I'll answer these questions in order.
Scene: Jessie, James and Meowth are on the outskirts of the city, where a giant Meowth robot is perched. It matches Meowth's physique to the very last detail, except for the fact that it's big enough for the three Rockets to sit in.
Narrator: First of all, Team Rocket went out of the city to get their Mewoth robot and use it on the heroes.
Scene: Officer Jenny can be seen looking quite sober on a street corner on the edge of the city.
Narrator: Now, before I answer the second question, a more important question must be answered. Does Officer Jenny look bored? Or worried? Do her razor sharp instincts tell her that there's danger afoot?
Scene: Officer Jenny yawns, just as the Meowth robot comes into view.
Narrator: Looks like the answer's 'A', folks…
Scene: People begin running from the giant Meowth robot.
Narrator: Something tells me I'm forgetting something...
Scene: The robot begins stomping on cars and smashing the windows of buildings. Another view shows the windows on one side of a skyscraper.
Narrator: Ah well, I'm sure it'll come back to me later... Anyway, where was I?
Scene: The reflection of the Meowth robot can be seen through the perfectly clean windows.
Narrator: Oh yes. The city, Saffron... The mood, sheer panic. <whisper> Is that even the right line?
Voice: <sounds distant> Dude, we're still recording.
Narrator: <whisper> We are? <normal volume> Oh shi... um... Yes. As the monstrosity tears through the city, one question must be answered. Who will stop its orgy of destruction?
Scene: Ash and the gang can be seen standing about 500 yards away from the robotic Meowth. They are gaping in awe.
Brock: That... must've set the production team back a couple hundred bucks.
Misty: Whaddya expect? This is the pilot! We GOTTA make it look good!
Ash: Make it look good? This isn't even page 5, and we've ALREADY got a robot!
Brock: Geez, could we please just go defeat Team Rocket?
Ash: How do you know it's Team Rocket?
Brock: Who always stalks us everywhere we go?
Ash: Team Rocket?
Brock: Correct. And who builds those giant Meowth Bots?
Ash: Team Rocket?
Brock: Wow, you're on a roll today. So here's the final question. Based on the above answers, who do you think is in that robot that looks like a giant Meowth?
Ash: ... No wait, don't tell me... Dr. Y... No. He doesn't build robots... and MewTwo's a Pokemon... Hmm...
Brock: <slaps his hand to his forehead> I'm talking to a moron...
Scene: Max and May are on the sidewalk waving to Ash, Misty and Brock.
Max: We'll be cheering you on!
May: Yeah. Try not to get killed. Your insur... I mean the show would be in jeopardy if you bought it this early!
Brock: Gee... Thanks for the support...
Scene: Ash, Misty and Brock run toward the gigantic robot.
Narrator: As our heroes close in on the mechanized terror, Ash comes to a startling realization.
Ash: <noticing Jessie James and Meowth inside the easily visible bridge> Team Rocket's piloting that thing! I never would've guessed...
Narrator: His perception never ceases to amaze me... But this is still a very serious matter. For the terrible giant robot isn't intimidated by our heroes, as it demonstrates here.
Scene: The Meowth-Bot steps backward and trips, stumbling into a 2-story building, flattening it and slamming into another 4-story building behind that one.
Brock: Of course it's not intimidated. It's a robot!
Narrator: Er... Um, yes... In an instant, the massive mecha stumbles, leveling a city block. Pretty intimidating, eh?
Ash: Well, let's put it this way. It's not bad.
Scene: The Meowth Bot is literally stuck on the foundation of a building, as Team Rocket exits, and attempts to roll it off, onto the street.
Brock: <has a WTF look> And these are the people we've been fighting for nearly five years?
Misty: Should I um... <motioning to the robot> you know.
Ash: Yeah. Let's just get it over with.
Scene: Misty releases Corsela, who cheerfully states its name.
Misty: Alright. Let's give it a Water Gun!
Narrator: Wait a second. Is this even in the script?
Voice: <whispering> What script?
Narrator: If there's no script, then what am I reading?!
Scene: Corsela's Water Gun hits its mark, causing the Meowth-Bot to become wet and start shorting out.
Ash: Alright. Our turn! Pikachu!!! Thunderbolt!
Pikachu: Pika!
Scene: Pikachu begins powering up for a Thunderbolt Attack, in a very dramatic and overly flashy fashion. Kind of like he does in every episode.
Narrator: In case you didn't know, Pikachu is about to perform his own version of Shock Therapy by calling upon the ancient powers of the mighty Thunderbolt Attack! Carefully harnessed through his solar-powered red cheeks, the Thunderbolt Attack takes shape, making him ready for action, ready for danger, ready to accept the coveted Emmy for 'Best Stupid Pet Trick'. Wielding his Thunderbolt Attack like a Paramedic's Defibrillator, Pikachu lets out the inspiring cry...
Pikachu: Pi...ka...CHUUUUU!!!!
Narrator: Huh? I thought it was supposed to be 'Clear!'.
Scene: The Meowth-Bot is blown to bits, as JJM (Jessie, James and Meowth) are sent blasting off in the familiar fashion of days long past.
JJM: <all three together> Team Rocket's blasting off again!!!
Misty: There's GOT to be a better line than that.
Ash: No kidding. Even in a parody, they insist on having their catch phrases.
Brock: Just be glad they didn't go through their whole speech.
Scene: Max and May are suddenly standing next to Ash, as if popping up surrealistically out of nowhere.
May: Why is it that we have to deal with them so much anyway? I mean, can't we just kill them?
Ash: SHHHHHHH!!! This is a DUB! We can't say 'kill'! I'll have to censor you!
Brock: But you just said it.
May: Maybe he means from now on!
Ash: <to May> You've been censored! You can't talk while censored!
POKEMON - SPC
Episode 1: A Game Of Meowth And Pika
Scene: The street of Saffron City, as Officer Jenny and a group of League Officers are cleaning up the mess left by the battle.
Narrator: On the streets of Saffron City, the remains of the giant Meowth-Bot are being cleaned up and taken in to be dusted for fingerprints. Though several buildings were demolished in the thirty-second battle, nobody was seriously injured - a miracle since the robot flattened an entire city block in seconds...
Ash: And then Pikachu just used Thunderbolt.
Officer Jenny: Alright. Unfortunately, we don't have enough evidence to charge Jessie, James and Meowth with anything warranting an arrest.
Brock: You're kidding, right? I mean, there were like five hundred eyewitnesses that identified them as the culprits.
Officer Jenny: Yeah, but we really can't do anything since they're paid up with the producer. All we can really do is heighten security.
Ash: Yeah... Alrighty... At any rate, you don't seem to need us anymore. So we'll be going.
May: Yeah, let's get out of here...
Ash: <to May> I COMMANDED YOU TO BE SILENT!!!
Scene: May is just slightly creeped out now.
Ash: <looking around> Puny mortals... You do NOT know who you're dealing with! I'm the main character! Without me, you'd be nothing!!!
Scene: The whole group just looks at Ash, then each other with WTF stares.
Ash: I've been a Trainer for over 5 years now! You fools have no idea what dangers lie out in the world of Z-Re... I mean Pokemon...
Narrator: Alrighty... Looks like somebody forgot to take his meds today... Either that, or we're reading off the wrong script again...
Scene: The scene shifts to the opposite side of town, where JJM (didn't go very far this time, huh?) are pulling themselves out of a freshly made hole. Conveniently, they landed right in front of a Pokemon Center.
Narrator: ANYWAY... Jessie, James and Meowth have finally landed on the other side of town, where they pick themselves up, and attempt to contemplate a lifetime of failed attempts to steal cute adorable little animals from children. Let's take a look.
Scene: The trio of villainous morons poke their heads out of the hole their fall just made.
Jessie: <irritated> ... Why? Why is it that we always end up like this?
James: I know... It isn't fair.
Meowth: <casually> All we wanna do is nab Pikachu for da boss, and we can't even do dat.
James: <casually, not upset at all> It's almost enough to make me want to forget about Pikachu... I mean, to be honest... Can't we just go play D&D or something?
Jessie: <to James and Meowth> No!!! We CANNOT forget about Pikachu! Guys! Pull yourselves together!!!
Scene: James and Meowth both look at each other with WTF stares, then back at Jessie.
Jessie: Don't you two remember why we wanted to capture Pikachu in the first place?!
Scene: A flashback ensues, where the trio of wannabe main villains is suddenly standing out in space. They're in the old-fashioned black Team Rocket uniforms. On the bottom of the screen, it says 'One Year Before The Beginning Of The Pokemon Series'. Suddenly, a booming voice echoes into their minds.
Voice: You three have been chosen by the evil Lord Xanabula, to capture the one Pokemon that is capable of thwarting our plans for global conquest.
James: W... Which Pokemon is that?
Voice: Ash's Pikachu!
Jessie: Ash? Who's that?
Meowth: Meow... Meowth?
Voice: He's this kid that'll be giving you alot of trouble in the future. Anyway, you need to capture his Pikachu and give him to a man named Giovanni.
Jessie: Our boss?
Voice: Wow, you actually know something...
Meowth: Meow... Meowth... Meow... Meow!
Voice: Now, to aid you in your not-so-heroic quest, I'll be granting you a few super special powers that go far beyond even the reasoning of the writing staff.
James: You mean like super powers? Wow, cool.
Voice: Not really super powers... <quieter and faster> More like something to set you apart from the others, so the kids will know the difference between the real bad guys, and the comic relief villains... <normal booming tone again> Anyway... First of all, I'm giving you these spiffy white uniforms that are completely different from the ones every other member of Team Rocket wears.
Scene: The snapping of fingers can be heard, as the screen flashes and Jessie and James are now in their familiar uniforms.
Jessie: <looking at the uniform> Not bad. I actually feel pretty cool in this.
James: <looking down> Whoa, cool! I feel like a Sentai. Go Go Sentai: Pokemon Rangers!
Scene: James poses, as the familiar big red 'R' can be seen in the background.
Voice: Alright. Second, I'm giving you three immunity. No matter what, you'll never get arrested. And if you ever do, you'll be out by the next Episode.
James: Ok...
Jessie: So we could basically kill someone, and nobody would be able to arrest us?
Voice: Yeah, pretty much.
Jessie: Nice... {Next time I see Butch and Cassidy, they're freaking dead...}
Meowth: Meow! Meowth!
Voice: Ugh... Alright. I've put up with it long enough. Meowth, your voice is way too annoying. I'm giving you the power to speak human language.
Scene: A flash of light again.
Meowth: Whoa. Tanks! I owe ya one!
Voice: Oh for the love of... I made him sound like Speedy Cerviche...
Meowth: Speedy WHO?
Voice: Never mind... Moving on... Let's see... I covered the uniforms... the immunity... Meowth... What am I missing?
James: It's Morphin' Time!
Voice: First of all, that isn't Sentai, it's Power Rangers. Second, why is an Anime character quoting an American show?
James: I went to this American convention awhile back... In Japan!!! Ha! Take that, Bandit Keith!
Voice: ... Now I remember... You guys talk waaaaay too much. So, I'm giving you a speech you can say in every Episode, to lengthen the show so you don't have to speak as much. Then you'll be less annoying than you would otherwise be, even though you'll still be pretty annoying. And since we're in space, we'll make it something to do with Space Ships.
Scene: A flash.
Voice: Ok... Now your group needs a name... Let's see...
James: Pokemon Rangers!!!
Voice: James, shut up. Alright... Let me just see what's taken... Knights of the Round Table... The Green Berets... The 300 Spartans... That wouldn't even make sense...
Scene: Jessie and James look at each other again with WTF looks.
Voice: Prism Rangers... Z Fighters... Light Warriors... Ahh! Here's one! Team Rocket!
James: Team Rocket... <acting serious> Sounds light as a feather. I kind of like it.
Voice: Yes... Incidentally, if you're ever near any explosions, or any other such lethal attack or device, the magical properties of your new uniforms will cause you to fly harmlessly off into the distance, instead of being blown into tiny unrecognizable pieces.
Jessie: <looking at James> It's time.
James: Yeah. Let's do this.
Voice: One more thing. You'll have to change the speech every once in awhile in order to avoid irritating the hardcore Pokemon fan base that the show's bound to get.
Meowth: You leave dat ta me! Now let's go get that Pikachu for da boss!
Voice: Remember. Ash... Pikachu...
Scene: The scene switches back to the trio as they stand over the newly created hole and nod to each other.
Jessie: This time for sure.
James: Yes. We've got to get Pikachu.
Meowth: It's our destiny, as Team Rocket.
Scene: The trio of villains, in the dumbest possible way, just put their right hands into the air.
JJM: Rocket Waza! Team Gattai!
Scene: In the middle of the city, the eyes of the Meowth Bot's severed head begin to glow as its pieces begin gathering and re-attaching to form a completely repaired robot. Officer Jenny and the group who are still there can only look in amazement as the robot picks itself up.
Narrator: Wha... Ok... Um... I officially have no clue what's going on, but let's just keep watching.
Scene: A massive amount of rattling can be seen in a nearby forest, as a gigantic Dustox robot rises up and begins flying toward the city in Mothra-esque fashion. Meanwhile, the top of a distant mountain separates, revealing a giant Mime Jr robot, which also flies toward the city.
Narrator: Aha! Looks like their brilliant plan is to summon more robots! Let's see if our heroes can take on all three at once!
Scene: What can best be described (and I'm sure that the reader by now has already deduced) as a Power Rangers rip-off, Jessie, James and Meowth jump all the way up into each of their robots. Meowth enters the Meowth Bot, Jessie enters the Dustox Bot, and James enters the Mime Jr Bot.
Brock: You've got to be kidding me...
Misty: I don't think they are...
May: Are they about to do what I think they are?
Max: Yep...
Scene: The three robots begin the funkiest combination sequence ever seen.
Narrator: To add insult to injury, our three inept baddies are about to begin a highly metaphysical, technically unexplainable transformation sequence, requiring such awesome special effects, that you'll think you're witnessing a head-on collision between Pink Floyd and Judas Priest! So fasten your seatbelts, folks!
Scene: As the Narrator speaks, the Meowth Bot's arms and head recede, as the Dustox Bot splits into two halves, with each transforming into an arm as the wings detach. The two arms hook up to where the Meowth Bot's arms formerly were, as the Mime Jr transforms into a pink and white Gundam-esque head. Finally, the wings fold into smaller wings and attack to the robot's back, and a breastplate comes from out of nowhere and attaches to the front. The view shows an updated bridge with Jessie, James and Meowth sitting together.
Jessie: Transformation complete!
James: Switching to attack mode!
Meowth: Now let's nab Pikachu!
JJM: RocketTouja! Go!!!
Narrator: Why must I always be right?
Brock: <looking at the robot> Wow... Just... Wow...
Ash: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait... Wait.
James: <looking down at the twerps> Huh?
Ash: How, in the name of all logic, did you get those robots into that mountain and forest?
Brock: Wow... You actually asked a question that makes sense.
Ash: Shut up! I did not!
Brock: Never mind...
Jessie: I would explain it, but that would require another extensive flashback sequence, and there isn't enough time left in the episode for that.
Ash: ... Fair enough.
Brock: <smacking his forehead again> Ugh...
Ash: You know what... I've just about had it with you three.
Jessie: Wait, WHAT?!
Ash: You three have terrified countless people, destroyed precious lives, and even ruined our planet!
Jessie: What is he talking about?
Ash: It may not be today, or even tomorrow. But some day, you're gonna crash and burn, big time!
James: He's reading off the SatAM script again...
Ash: Pikachu!
Scene: Pikachu charges another Thunderbolt Attack.
Narrator: Two Thunderbolts in one day, aren't we nice?
Scene: Pikachu prepares to fire the attack at the robot.
Narrator: And don't forget to tell all your friends you saw it here on POKEMON: SPC!
Scene: Pikachu shoots the lightning-based attack at the robot, obliterating it and sending the trio flying off again.
JJM: Team Rocket's... Ahh forget it...
Scene: As Team Rocket flies off into the distance, Ash and the gang look out in the same direction, all dramatic-like.
Narrator: And so ends another action-packed day for Ash, Misty, Brock, Max and May. But they'll be back... unless the show gets cancelled or a Mod or Admin closes this for looking pathetic... But until that day, our heroes will continue to defend the world, with the help of every cute, cuddly animal you can think of!
As before, this stars Ash, Misty, and Brock, and has absolutely NO relevance to the Anime series whatsoever. But, that's the way things go in something like this. So don't go complaining about how Ash should actually have Zork and Misty should have some other Water Pokemon. Although Zork would be kind of cool... No! I will NOT rip off Yu-Gi-Oh!!! Must... resist... temptation... And please don't say this isn't realistic. I get a chuckle every time someone says that about a Pokemon Fic. Funniest criticism I've ever read, I swear.
If you like the idea or just want to give feedback, feel free to do so. If you really like it, then pay homage to a legendary series by checking out the SPC series (though it's impossible to find it anywhere other than online now). And yes, some of the lines were 'borrowed' from SPC and Poke-ised. Particularly, in this first episode. Also as before, there'll be movie quotes, as well as other stuff that's just made up on the spot.
And please remember, this is supposed to be a HUMOR Fic. So please don't take any offense. And yes, it's in Script Format. Just putting that out for y'all right away.
This is Pokemon - SPC style - best described as the stuff the audience DOESN'T see and the stuff the writers probably wouldn't WANT you to see. It isn't literal, it isn't figurative, and the title doesn't really mean much. It just is.
And criticism is fine, suggestions are fine, just no flaming. And remember, this is the first Episode. It'll probably be kind of cheesy.
Key:
<> = Scene in Dialogue.
{} = Inner Monologue
Narrator = The invisible voice that tells you what's going on, while largely making it up on his own.
Scene: A vast shot of Saffron City at midday (since Pallet Town isn't 'city enough' to start our adventure in). As the camera zooms out to show more of the city, and the angles switch to show the streets, where people are going about their daily business...
Narrator: Welcome to Saffron City, our home town. Kinda like your home town - that is, if your home town was populated by talking cats, fire breathing lizards and other cartoon characters. Saffron City, the city of contrast - where incomes are high, cholesterol levels are low, everyone gets cable TV, and yet, a place where great street vendors are still a common sight. Saffron City, where the old meets the new.
Random Street Merchant: <standing in front of a sign that reads, Diverso-Mart> Fresh mackerel, Discount Poke-Balls, DVD Players, get 'em while they're hot!!!
Narrator: Saffron City, home of the national tag team mahjong champions, the world's third largest Oran Berry, and the destination of our heroes, Ash, Misty and Brock - the bravest heroes ever to walk the Poke-world...
Scene: Ash is startled by a Pichu jumping out of the door of a building that the gang is walking past. He jumps back and lands on his rear. After a second, he gets up again.
Narrator: Ok, I might have been exaggerating...
Scene: Pikachu simply shakes his head in the familiar 'it figures' fashion.
Ash: Well, he jumped out all of a sudden and...
Misty: Yeah, sure... Can we get going now?
Brock: Max and May are waiting for us.
Ash: ... {Sure, don't even ask if I've been hurt...}
Scene: The trio meets up with May and Max, who are in the Pokemon Center.
Max: Looks like you survived.
May: That's good, we can't afford to replace anymore cast members. Gary quit, Drew walked out, and Shinji released himself for being too weak. We don't even have the budget for a rival.
Brock: Whoa!!!
Scene: Brock, both in character and out of character at the same time, runs over to Nurse Joy. In the process, he tramples Ash.
Brock: <grabbing Nurse Joy's hand> I once met a girl named Joy, who's pretty voice could make me coy, her lovers would sigh, to the heavens they cry...
Max & Misty: <pulling Brock's ears> Alright, come on. Let's get out of her way lover boy...
Ash: <still flattened on the ground, as Max, Misty and Brock walk over him> Hey... What's the big deal?
Misty: <looking at Ash> Oh, I didn't see you there...
Ash: You treat me like a doormat, Misty...
Scene: Outside...
Narrator: In all seriousness though, this isn't the time to be goofing off. For outside, the evil Teeeeeam Rocket is plotting their next insidious scheme.
Scene: Jessie, James and Meowth look into the Pokemon Center from a window. As always, nobody notices them doing this, even though the streets are filled with people.
Jessie: This is the perfect opportunity to unveil our next insidious scheme. Just look at them in there...
James: The twerps, ripe for the taking...
Meowth: We can distract dem, and den nab Pikachu right from under der noses! Dis is so exciting! I love drama! How do you deal wit drama?
James: I lift one eyebrow and look ominous.
Scene: James lifts an eyebrow and gives a mad scientist glare left and right.
Meowth: At least ya have eyebrows, I've been forced ta go tru life without any. I find dis highly amusing. We will now laugh.
Scene: Team Rocket begins laughing. Still, nobody notices them acting all crazy and maniacal by the window.
Meowth: <while laughing> {I won't need eyebrows ta help me defeat Ash and his twerps though... With my new robot, dey won't stand a chance!}
Narrator: Well, at least he didn't say 'ghost of a chance'...
Scene: Jessie, James and Meowth head down the street, and out of view.
Narrator: At this point, you might be wondering, 'Where is Team Rocket going?'. Then again, you might also be wondering, 'Why am I still reading this stupid Fic?'. I'll answer these questions in order.
Scene: Jessie, James and Meowth are on the outskirts of the city, where a giant Meowth robot is perched. It matches Meowth's physique to the very last detail, except for the fact that it's big enough for the three Rockets to sit in.
Narrator: First of all, Team Rocket went out of the city to get their Mewoth robot and use it on the heroes.
Scene: Officer Jenny can be seen looking quite sober on a street corner on the edge of the city.
Narrator: Now, before I answer the second question, a more important question must be answered. Does Officer Jenny look bored? Or worried? Do her razor sharp instincts tell her that there's danger afoot?
Scene: Officer Jenny yawns, just as the Meowth robot comes into view.
Narrator: Looks like the answer's 'A', folks…
Scene: People begin running from the giant Meowth robot.
Narrator: Something tells me I'm forgetting something...
Scene: The robot begins stomping on cars and smashing the windows of buildings. Another view shows the windows on one side of a skyscraper.
Narrator: Ah well, I'm sure it'll come back to me later... Anyway, where was I?
Scene: The reflection of the Meowth robot can be seen through the perfectly clean windows.
Narrator: Oh yes. The city, Saffron... The mood, sheer panic. <whisper> Is that even the right line?
Voice: <sounds distant> Dude, we're still recording.
Narrator: <whisper> We are? <normal volume> Oh shi... um... Yes. As the monstrosity tears through the city, one question must be answered. Who will stop its orgy of destruction?
Scene: Ash and the gang can be seen standing about 500 yards away from the robotic Meowth. They are gaping in awe.
Brock: That... must've set the production team back a couple hundred bucks.
Misty: Whaddya expect? This is the pilot! We GOTTA make it look good!
Ash: Make it look good? This isn't even page 5, and we've ALREADY got a robot!
Brock: Geez, could we please just go defeat Team Rocket?
Ash: How do you know it's Team Rocket?
Brock: Who always stalks us everywhere we go?
Ash: Team Rocket?
Brock: Correct. And who builds those giant Meowth Bots?
Ash: Team Rocket?
Brock: Wow, you're on a roll today. So here's the final question. Based on the above answers, who do you think is in that robot that looks like a giant Meowth?
Ash: ... No wait, don't tell me... Dr. Y... No. He doesn't build robots... and MewTwo's a Pokemon... Hmm...
Brock: <slaps his hand to his forehead> I'm talking to a moron...
Scene: Max and May are on the sidewalk waving to Ash, Misty and Brock.
Max: We'll be cheering you on!
May: Yeah. Try not to get killed. Your insur... I mean the show would be in jeopardy if you bought it this early!
Brock: Gee... Thanks for the support...
Scene: Ash, Misty and Brock run toward the gigantic robot.
Narrator: As our heroes close in on the mechanized terror, Ash comes to a startling realization.
Ash: <noticing Jessie James and Meowth inside the easily visible bridge> Team Rocket's piloting that thing! I never would've guessed...
Narrator: His perception never ceases to amaze me... But this is still a very serious matter. For the terrible giant robot isn't intimidated by our heroes, as it demonstrates here.
Scene: The Meowth-Bot steps backward and trips, stumbling into a 2-story building, flattening it and slamming into another 4-story building behind that one.
Brock: Of course it's not intimidated. It's a robot!
Narrator: Er... Um, yes... In an instant, the massive mecha stumbles, leveling a city block. Pretty intimidating, eh?
Ash: Well, let's put it this way. It's not bad.
Scene: The Meowth Bot is literally stuck on the foundation of a building, as Team Rocket exits, and attempts to roll it off, onto the street.
Brock: <has a WTF look> And these are the people we've been fighting for nearly five years?
Misty: Should I um... <motioning to the robot> you know.
Ash: Yeah. Let's just get it over with.
Scene: Misty releases Corsela, who cheerfully states its name.
Misty: Alright. Let's give it a Water Gun!
Narrator: Wait a second. Is this even in the script?
Voice: <whispering> What script?
Narrator: If there's no script, then what am I reading?!
Scene: Corsela's Water Gun hits its mark, causing the Meowth-Bot to become wet and start shorting out.
Ash: Alright. Our turn! Pikachu!!! Thunderbolt!
Pikachu: Pika!
Scene: Pikachu begins powering up for a Thunderbolt Attack, in a very dramatic and overly flashy fashion. Kind of like he does in every episode.
Narrator: In case you didn't know, Pikachu is about to perform his own version of Shock Therapy by calling upon the ancient powers of the mighty Thunderbolt Attack! Carefully harnessed through his solar-powered red cheeks, the Thunderbolt Attack takes shape, making him ready for action, ready for danger, ready to accept the coveted Emmy for 'Best Stupid Pet Trick'. Wielding his Thunderbolt Attack like a Paramedic's Defibrillator, Pikachu lets out the inspiring cry...
Pikachu: Pi...ka...CHUUUUU!!!!
Narrator: Huh? I thought it was supposed to be 'Clear!'.
Scene: The Meowth-Bot is blown to bits, as JJM (Jessie, James and Meowth) are sent blasting off in the familiar fashion of days long past.
JJM: <all three together> Team Rocket's blasting off again!!!
Misty: There's GOT to be a better line than that.
Ash: No kidding. Even in a parody, they insist on having their catch phrases.
Brock: Just be glad they didn't go through their whole speech.
Scene: Max and May are suddenly standing next to Ash, as if popping up surrealistically out of nowhere.
May: Why is it that we have to deal with them so much anyway? I mean, can't we just kill them?
Ash: SHHHHHHH!!! This is a DUB! We can't say 'kill'! I'll have to censor you!
Brock: But you just said it.
May: Maybe he means from now on!
Ash: <to May> You've been censored! You can't talk while censored!
POKEMON - SPC
Episode 1: A Game Of Meowth And Pika
Scene: The street of Saffron City, as Officer Jenny and a group of League Officers are cleaning up the mess left by the battle.
Narrator: On the streets of Saffron City, the remains of the giant Meowth-Bot are being cleaned up and taken in to be dusted for fingerprints. Though several buildings were demolished in the thirty-second battle, nobody was seriously injured - a miracle since the robot flattened an entire city block in seconds...
Ash: And then Pikachu just used Thunderbolt.
Officer Jenny: Alright. Unfortunately, we don't have enough evidence to charge Jessie, James and Meowth with anything warranting an arrest.
Brock: You're kidding, right? I mean, there were like five hundred eyewitnesses that identified them as the culprits.
Officer Jenny: Yeah, but we really can't do anything since they're paid up with the producer. All we can really do is heighten security.
Ash: Yeah... Alrighty... At any rate, you don't seem to need us anymore. So we'll be going.
May: Yeah, let's get out of here...
Ash: <to May> I COMMANDED YOU TO BE SILENT!!!
Scene: May is just slightly creeped out now.
Ash: <looking around> Puny mortals... You do NOT know who you're dealing with! I'm the main character! Without me, you'd be nothing!!!
Scene: The whole group just looks at Ash, then each other with WTF stares.
Ash: I've been a Trainer for over 5 years now! You fools have no idea what dangers lie out in the world of Z-Re... I mean Pokemon...
Narrator: Alrighty... Looks like somebody forgot to take his meds today... Either that, or we're reading off the wrong script again...
Scene: The scene shifts to the opposite side of town, where JJM (didn't go very far this time, huh?) are pulling themselves out of a freshly made hole. Conveniently, they landed right in front of a Pokemon Center.
Narrator: ANYWAY... Jessie, James and Meowth have finally landed on the other side of town, where they pick themselves up, and attempt to contemplate a lifetime of failed attempts to steal cute adorable little animals from children. Let's take a look.
Scene: The trio of villainous morons poke their heads out of the hole their fall just made.
Jessie: <irritated> ... Why? Why is it that we always end up like this?
James: I know... It isn't fair.
Meowth: <casually> All we wanna do is nab Pikachu for da boss, and we can't even do dat.
James: <casually, not upset at all> It's almost enough to make me want to forget about Pikachu... I mean, to be honest... Can't we just go play D&D or something?
Jessie: <to James and Meowth> No!!! We CANNOT forget about Pikachu! Guys! Pull yourselves together!!!
Scene: James and Meowth both look at each other with WTF stares, then back at Jessie.
Jessie: Don't you two remember why we wanted to capture Pikachu in the first place?!
Scene: A flashback ensues, where the trio of wannabe main villains is suddenly standing out in space. They're in the old-fashioned black Team Rocket uniforms. On the bottom of the screen, it says 'One Year Before The Beginning Of The Pokemon Series'. Suddenly, a booming voice echoes into their minds.
Voice: You three have been chosen by the evil Lord Xanabula, to capture the one Pokemon that is capable of thwarting our plans for global conquest.
James: W... Which Pokemon is that?
Voice: Ash's Pikachu!
Jessie: Ash? Who's that?
Meowth: Meow... Meowth?
Voice: He's this kid that'll be giving you alot of trouble in the future. Anyway, you need to capture his Pikachu and give him to a man named Giovanni.
Jessie: Our boss?
Voice: Wow, you actually know something...
Meowth: Meow... Meowth... Meow... Meow!
Voice: Now, to aid you in your not-so-heroic quest, I'll be granting you a few super special powers that go far beyond even the reasoning of the writing staff.
James: You mean like super powers? Wow, cool.
Voice: Not really super powers... <quieter and faster> More like something to set you apart from the others, so the kids will know the difference between the real bad guys, and the comic relief villains... <normal booming tone again> Anyway... First of all, I'm giving you these spiffy white uniforms that are completely different from the ones every other member of Team Rocket wears.
Scene: The snapping of fingers can be heard, as the screen flashes and Jessie and James are now in their familiar uniforms.
Jessie: <looking at the uniform> Not bad. I actually feel pretty cool in this.
James: <looking down> Whoa, cool! I feel like a Sentai. Go Go Sentai: Pokemon Rangers!
Scene: James poses, as the familiar big red 'R' can be seen in the background.
Voice: Alright. Second, I'm giving you three immunity. No matter what, you'll never get arrested. And if you ever do, you'll be out by the next Episode.
James: Ok...
Jessie: So we could basically kill someone, and nobody would be able to arrest us?
Voice: Yeah, pretty much.
Jessie: Nice... {Next time I see Butch and Cassidy, they're freaking dead...}
Meowth: Meow! Meowth!
Voice: Ugh... Alright. I've put up with it long enough. Meowth, your voice is way too annoying. I'm giving you the power to speak human language.
Scene: A flash of light again.
Meowth: Whoa. Tanks! I owe ya one!
Voice: Oh for the love of... I made him sound like Speedy Cerviche...
Meowth: Speedy WHO?
Voice: Never mind... Moving on... Let's see... I covered the uniforms... the immunity... Meowth... What am I missing?
James: It's Morphin' Time!
Voice: First of all, that isn't Sentai, it's Power Rangers. Second, why is an Anime character quoting an American show?
James: I went to this American convention awhile back... In Japan!!! Ha! Take that, Bandit Keith!
Voice: ... Now I remember... You guys talk waaaaay too much. So, I'm giving you a speech you can say in every Episode, to lengthen the show so you don't have to speak as much. Then you'll be less annoying than you would otherwise be, even though you'll still be pretty annoying. And since we're in space, we'll make it something to do with Space Ships.
Scene: A flash.
Voice: Ok... Now your group needs a name... Let's see...
James: Pokemon Rangers!!!
Voice: James, shut up. Alright... Let me just see what's taken... Knights of the Round Table... The Green Berets... The 300 Spartans... That wouldn't even make sense...
Scene: Jessie and James look at each other again with WTF looks.
Voice: Prism Rangers... Z Fighters... Light Warriors... Ahh! Here's one! Team Rocket!
James: Team Rocket... <acting serious> Sounds light as a feather. I kind of like it.
Voice: Yes... Incidentally, if you're ever near any explosions, or any other such lethal attack or device, the magical properties of your new uniforms will cause you to fly harmlessly off into the distance, instead of being blown into tiny unrecognizable pieces.
Jessie: <looking at James> It's time.
James: Yeah. Let's do this.
Voice: One more thing. You'll have to change the speech every once in awhile in order to avoid irritating the hardcore Pokemon fan base that the show's bound to get.
Meowth: You leave dat ta me! Now let's go get that Pikachu for da boss!
Voice: Remember. Ash... Pikachu...
Scene: The scene switches back to the trio as they stand over the newly created hole and nod to each other.
Jessie: This time for sure.
James: Yes. We've got to get Pikachu.
Meowth: It's our destiny, as Team Rocket.
Scene: The trio of villains, in the dumbest possible way, just put their right hands into the air.
JJM: Rocket Waza! Team Gattai!
Scene: In the middle of the city, the eyes of the Meowth Bot's severed head begin to glow as its pieces begin gathering and re-attaching to form a completely repaired robot. Officer Jenny and the group who are still there can only look in amazement as the robot picks itself up.
Narrator: Wha... Ok... Um... I officially have no clue what's going on, but let's just keep watching.
Scene: A massive amount of rattling can be seen in a nearby forest, as a gigantic Dustox robot rises up and begins flying toward the city in Mothra-esque fashion. Meanwhile, the top of a distant mountain separates, revealing a giant Mime Jr robot, which also flies toward the city.
Narrator: Aha! Looks like their brilliant plan is to summon more robots! Let's see if our heroes can take on all three at once!
Scene: What can best be described (and I'm sure that the reader by now has already deduced) as a Power Rangers rip-off, Jessie, James and Meowth jump all the way up into each of their robots. Meowth enters the Meowth Bot, Jessie enters the Dustox Bot, and James enters the Mime Jr Bot.
Brock: You've got to be kidding me...
Misty: I don't think they are...
May: Are they about to do what I think they are?
Max: Yep...
Scene: The three robots begin the funkiest combination sequence ever seen.
Narrator: To add insult to injury, our three inept baddies are about to begin a highly metaphysical, technically unexplainable transformation sequence, requiring such awesome special effects, that you'll think you're witnessing a head-on collision between Pink Floyd and Judas Priest! So fasten your seatbelts, folks!
Scene: As the Narrator speaks, the Meowth Bot's arms and head recede, as the Dustox Bot splits into two halves, with each transforming into an arm as the wings detach. The two arms hook up to where the Meowth Bot's arms formerly were, as the Mime Jr transforms into a pink and white Gundam-esque head. Finally, the wings fold into smaller wings and attack to the robot's back, and a breastplate comes from out of nowhere and attaches to the front. The view shows an updated bridge with Jessie, James and Meowth sitting together.
Jessie: Transformation complete!
James: Switching to attack mode!
Meowth: Now let's nab Pikachu!
JJM: RocketTouja! Go!!!
Narrator: Why must I always be right?
Brock: <looking at the robot> Wow... Just... Wow...
Ash: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait... Wait.
James: <looking down at the twerps> Huh?
Ash: How, in the name of all logic, did you get those robots into that mountain and forest?
Brock: Wow... You actually asked a question that makes sense.
Ash: Shut up! I did not!
Brock: Never mind...
Jessie: I would explain it, but that would require another extensive flashback sequence, and there isn't enough time left in the episode for that.
Ash: ... Fair enough.
Brock: <smacking his forehead again> Ugh...
Ash: You know what... I've just about had it with you three.
Jessie: Wait, WHAT?!
Ash: You three have terrified countless people, destroyed precious lives, and even ruined our planet!
Jessie: What is he talking about?
Ash: It may not be today, or even tomorrow. But some day, you're gonna crash and burn, big time!
James: He's reading off the SatAM script again...
Ash: Pikachu!
Scene: Pikachu charges another Thunderbolt Attack.
Narrator: Two Thunderbolts in one day, aren't we nice?
Scene: Pikachu prepares to fire the attack at the robot.
Narrator: And don't forget to tell all your friends you saw it here on POKEMON: SPC!
Scene: Pikachu shoots the lightning-based attack at the robot, obliterating it and sending the trio flying off again.
JJM: Team Rocket's... Ahh forget it...
Scene: As Team Rocket flies off into the distance, Ash and the gang look out in the same direction, all dramatic-like.
Narrator: And so ends another action-packed day for Ash, Misty, Brock, Max and May. But they'll be back... unless the show gets cancelled or a Mod or Admin closes this for looking pathetic... But until that day, our heroes will continue to defend the world, with the help of every cute, cuddly animal you can think of!
