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Pokemon: Teacher's Pet

No, its not a CrossOver.
Okay, this is the second fic I have ever written, this is the only one I ever tried on.
My Prolouge is more like a short chapter, but whatever.
PROLOUGE
"GarChomp use dragon pulse" Yelled Cynthia.
Jake, "Dodge it. AbomaSnow, use Ice Beam now."
"GarChomp, Chom..."
"And that was the repeat of the battle that decided on our champion, that took place 15 years ago today, Here on Jubilife TV. That's right, we have a new champion." Said a news lady on TV.
"Wow, I wish I had skills like that." Daydreamed Marcus.

"Honey, its time for school"
"Okay Ma..." Replied Marcus, "Well, Daisy, are you ready for our first day of school at the trainers school?"
"Turtwig... Turt" Replied "Daisy tiredly.
"Daisy, I am glad you get to come with me, you have to go with me, because I am afraid none of the kids will like me." Whispered Marcus.
"Marcus, honey, get down here now!"
"Coming'"
*Now we join Marcus. A Trainer who originally from Orre, he recently turned 5 and now has to attend the Trainer School to train to be a trainer.*
Marcus quickly throws his pack on his shoulder and returning "Daisy" to her PokeBall. He placed her PokeBall on his belt. He then rushes downstairs.
"What is it mom?"
"This, read the Supplies List;
[PokeBalls(X5)]
[Folder(X3)]
[Lose-Leaf Paper]
[Pencil]
[Pokèmon(X2)]
"So... Ack!"
"Yes, you need two Pokèmon, you only have one."
"Well, Mom, may I borrow another of your extra PokeBalls?"
"Sure son"
"Thank you ma,"
*He swiftly puts the PokeBall in his pack, and grabs Daisy's PokeBall. With Daisy's ball in hand he rushes outside. Once outside, he breaths deeply in the crisp air of TwinLeaf town.*

"Well, This is the first day of the rest of our life..." Murmured Marcus, "Go Daisy!"
"A Turtwig? I haven't ever seen that Pokèmon."
"Yeah, its a Turtwig. Who are you?"
"Oh sorry. I'm Jr." Replied Jr.
"I'm Marcus. Is Jr. short for anything?"
"Yeah, its short for Jake Junior." Answered Jr.
"Jake... Isn't that the..."
"Yeah, it is." Interrupted Jr.
"So your the...?"
"Again, yes." Interrupted Jr.
"Wow. I'm starting school in Jubilife today."
"Me too. May I join you?"
"Sure."
*So, the new companions headed towards Rt. 201, and getting inevitably closer to Jubilife city.*

CHAPTER 1
"Jr., do you have any Pokemon?"
"Yeah, I do. I hatched them from eggs from my Dad's Pokemon."
"Cool. How many do you own? I have one, and thats Daisy."
"One? How will you do double battles? So far I have 2, Shinx and ChimChar."
"Wow. I need to catch another one before we get there."
"Well, how about that Bidoof?"
"Okay. Go Daisy"
"Bidoof?" Said the Bidoof obliviously.
"Daisy, use tackle."
*Daisy started running until it gained some decent speed and smashed into Bidoof, who is still paying no mind to Daisy and her trainer.*
"Now absorb."
*Daisy stopped moving all together, and a green light charged at the foe. It slammed into the foe, and returned to Turtwig. And the Bidoof finally started paying attention to the turtwig*
"Finally..."
*The Bidoof started running at unbelieveable speeds and slammed into Turtwig. Turtwig plowed into ground*
"Was that... Double Edge? Whatever, Turtwig, another absorb."
*The green light once again emerged from Turtwig and once agin plowed into Bidoof, knocking it to the ground before returning to Turtwig.*
"Nows my chance... Go PokeBall!"
*The PokeBall soars through the air and hits Bidoof. It makes a shower of red light upon impact, totally engulfing Bidoof. The PokeBall starts rolling around on the ground, and Marcus starts listening for a "Ping", the PokeBall burts open and Bidoof runs away before another Ball can be thrown.*

"No!! I can't believe this" Sobs Marcus.
"Its okay. Just try again."
"Okay..." Whimpered Marcus.
"Look, just lets get to SandGem, and heal up before you try again."
"Okay." Said Marcus, picking up the PokeBall.
*The two finish along Rt. 201, and enter SandGem town and quickly locate the Poke-Center and enter.*
"Nurse Joy, will you heal my Turtwig?"
"Yes, just give the little guy to me."
"Err... Okay... But Daisy is a girl."
"Silly me."
*He gives her Turtwig and she puts the PokeBall in the machine and beeping ensues. She takes the ball out and hands it to Marcus.*
"Thank you Nurse Joy."
"Your Welcome."
*The two leave the center and go north, to Rt. 202.*

"Okay Pokemon, prepare to be caught!"
*A Pokemon strolled up to him and let out a monstrous roar...*
"Gible!" Said the Pokemon.
"A Gible? Here? Well, go Daisy. Daisy, start off with Razor leaf."
*An armada of razor sharp leaves pummeled the Gible, who dug underground to prepare to attack.*
"Now, WithDraw."
*Daisy backed into her shell, just as Gible popped up right under it.*
"Now use Absorb!"
*The green light once again appeared out of Daisy's back and hit Gible. The Gible plowed into the ground due to the shockwave of the attack's power.*
"Go PokeBall!"
*The Pokemon was transported into the ball from the red light, and it started rolling around. The ball let out a ping.*
"YES! I did it!"
"Good job. Now lets get to school before we're late."
"Oh yeah! I had nearly forgotten, lets go!" Yelled Marcus.
*The two ran all the way to Jubilife city, healed the Pokemon up at the center, and were still able to get in school on time.*

CHAPTER 2
"Good morning class. I am your teacher, Mr. Laye, I have come to teach you what it means to be a trainer. Lets spend the first ten minutes getting to know one-another. Since there are 17 of you, I will go by my roster, and you will stand up, you will tell the class and me, your name, 2 things about yourself, and 1 thing you hate. I'll begin; I am Mr. Laye, I am a former student of Prof. Rowan of Sandgem town, I am originally from Johto, and I hate the poaching of Pokemon. Said the teacher.
(OOC: I don't feel like making 17 other intros for class so, I'm skipping them)
"Good, and now, Jake Matthews,"
"Okay, I am Jake Matthews, I am the son of the current Sinnoh Champion, I get all my Pokemon from eggs from my Dad's Pokemon, I hate how there are so few Pokemon types."
"And... Marcus Moore,"
"I am Marcus Moore, I am from Orre, We moved to Twinleaf 2 months before my 5th birthday, and I hate that I am not old enough to travel across Sinnoh, or any other region."

"Thats everyone. Thank you for participating everyone. So to start off teaching, I will explain about basic battling."
"Uhh, Mr. Laye, when will we get to battle each other?"
"Thats later today."
"Thank you."
"So where was I? Oh yes. In battle, opposing Pokemon are pitted against each-other. The winner is decided once one of the Pokemon's HP hits "0". THe most direct way to do this is by using atacks such as tackle, to whittle away HP in large intervals. Lowering foe's stats with moves such as growl could put you at an advantage, as could raising your stats with moves like withdraw. The HP that is lost is determined by several factors, the most prominant of which is Base Attack."
"Mr. Laye, what about types?"
"Good question, okay, types and Type-Trumping are complex, but in a broad view I can say that it is like a broader and less circular form of the game "Rock, Paper, Scizzors"."
"Thank you."
"Okay, there is also Double and Multi Battles. Double battles are where two trainers fight against one-another, with 2 Pokemon out at once. Multi Battles are similar to double battles except there are 4 trainers, each with one Pokemon, and they are divided into two teams of two. Well, thats about it for General Battling, so I suppose, Class Dismissed.
*The students get to their feet and slowly file out of school, taking up the rear is Marcus.*

"Gee, if that stuff was basic, I'd hate to see the advanced stuff." Thought Marcus, as he left.
"Marcus! Wait up!" Yelled Jr.
"Yeah?"
"I wanna have a battle against you. 2 on 2. No substitutions"
"Okay. Go Gible!"
"Go Shinx."
"Gible, use dig,"
*Gible viciously slashed at the ground an dug a tunnel near-instantly.*
"Shinx dodge."
*Just as the ground underneath Shinx began to crack, Shinx jumped high in the air, narrowly avoided the attack.*
"Dig, again."
*Again, Gible quickly made a tunnel underground*
"Shinx, brace yourself, calm down and pay attention, when you know where it will come up, run to the side, and prepare a tackle!"
*The ground started to crumble and Shinx ran, followed quickly by Gible popping up, and getting plowed into by Shinx.*
"Gible, try another dig, and quickly!"
*It dug another tunnel and before anyone could even comprehend what was happening, it had popped up under Shinx, and Shinx was laying on the ground.*
"Return Shinx. Go ChimChar!"
"Gible use dig!"
*Gible tunneled underground and stayed there a few minutes.
"ChimChar, Don't fall for it. It can move much faster than that underground, so just brace yourself as best you can."
*It popped up, and ChimChar didn't look very damaged though.*
"ChimChar, use Double Kick."
*ChimChar lunged at Gible, and kicked with extreme viciusness, twice.*
"Gible! Return... Go Daisy."
"Daisy, use withdraw."
"ChimChar Double kick,"
*Daisy slowly retracted into her shell, and the move finished, just as ChimChar's attack landed, but luckily, WithDraw completely prevented Turtwig from harm.*
"Now, jump at ChimChar, and use withdraw."
*Daisy lunged at ChimChar, hid in her shell, and the shell smashed into ChimChar with great force.*
"Now, Daisy, tackle."
*While ChimChar was in a daze from the Jumping/WithDraw combo, Daisy again smashed into ChimChar, and ChimChar laid limp on the ground*
"Return ChimChar, Good Game Marcus."
"You too."
*The two friends accompany one-another as they go to the Poke-Center to heal their Pokemon.*

CHAPTER 3
"Here you go boys. Here are your Pokemon back."
"Thank you Nurse Joy."
"Its okay."
*The two boys rush back to SandGeam, and then back to TwinLeaf, avoiding all Pokemon they come in contact with.*
"Bye Jr,"
"Bye Marcus,"

*Jr. Runs off and Marcus enters his own house*
"Mom! I made a friend, caught a Pokemon and learned a lot today!"
"Honey, this sounds like you have had quite a day. Here son, go downstairs, I have a present for you."
*Marcus quickly obeys, and races downstairs.*
"Hm... I wonder what it could be. ...! A fishing pole!"
*He grabs it and races upstairs.*
"Your pleased I see."
"Boy am I!"
*Marcus dashes outside, and rushes to Lake Verity.*
"Hm... Its so wonderful to see him so full of energy."
"Its so nice to fish, so relaxing. Okay, lets cast" DayDreamed Marcus.
*He brought his rod back to his shoulder, and threw it forward to get it in the water.*

"So relaxing... It is so great to be able to fish! ...! A Bite!"
*He vigorously reeled and reeled. Until finally he pulled a Finneon to the surface.*
"Go Daisy, finish this up quickly with Razor Leaf."
*Daisy emerged from the ball, and quickly loosed a fury of Razor Sharp Leaves, which all hit their mark, head on. But it didn't give up, it used Ice Beam on Daisy, which dodged it*
"Now, another Razor Leaf."
*Daisy loosed a fury of Razor Sharp Leaves, which knocked Finneon down*
"Good. Go PokeBall!"
*Marcus threw another of the balls cliped on his belt at Finneon, It was quickly engulfed by the red light, it started rolling around and it "pinged"*

"You worthless Magby. I hereby release you!"
"Mag... Mag, Magby..."Sobbed Magby.
*As the Magby was sobbing, it started glowing. It started evolving!*
"Wha...?" Asked the trainer.
"MagMar!!!"
*It released a powerful FlameThroer at its trainer!*
"Heh... Heh... Help!" Cried it's trainer running away.
"Whoa... Go Finneon, use Water Pulse,"
*Finneon emerged from the red light, and launched a ball of water at MagMar, it hit dead on, but the strong MagMar stood strong.*
"MagMar!"
"Is it me or does that MagMar seem less angry now?" Thought Marcus.
*The MagMar loosed a Fire Punch at Finneon, though it did barely anything.*
"Anyway... Use Water Pulse!"
*The same ball of water was launched, but this time, MagMar was knocked off its feet.*
"Yes! Go PokeBall!"
*The ball was thrown, and MagMar was ensnared in the red light. Its started rolling around, and let off a ping.*
"Yes, I caught, MagMar! Now, my Pokemon are all feelng weak. Lets go home."

*Marcus, with his two new recruits, headed home*
"Hey Mom! Guesss what?"
"What?"
"I caught two new Pokemon! Go Finneon, Go MagMar!"
"Wow son. Thats great, but I think yuo should train them."
"I know, I saw Budews around here, and since Finneon knows Ice Beam, I can train them on that."
"Good idea."
 
Last edited:
Well.. no offense, but I think this might be closed for being rushed.

- Look at the guides on the site, and serebii, and pe2k, whatever. - Find major pokemon sites with fanfiction areas like the ones mentioned above and look around at the good fics, with good reviews and even ones that have won contests before.
- Improve your grammar and spelling, and description. I saw errors everywhere, and only dialogue. A lot is okay, but when there's no description in between, it's like they're staring at eachother for hours, doing absolutely nothing while talking. There's also no action.
- Don't post 3 chapters in one day, let alone one post. Give it 1-2 days between them or even more. It gives readers time to review and it gives YOU time to improve the chapter before releasing it to the public.

Good luck to you. ^^
 
Well.. no offense, but I think this might be closed for being rushed.

- Look at the guides on the site, and serebii, and pe2k, whatever. - Find major pokemon sites with fanfiction areas like the ones mentioned above and look around at the good fics, with good reviews and even ones that have won contests before.
- Improve your grammar and spelling, and description. I saw errors everywhere, and only dialogue. A lot is okay, but when there's no description in between, it's like they're staring at eachother for hours, doing absolutely nothing while talking. There's also no action.
- Don't post 3 chapters in one day, let alone one post. Give it 1-2 days between them or even more. It gives readers time to review and it gives YOU time to improve the chapter before releasing it to the public.

Good luck to you. ^^
This isn't the first place I posted it, so I jst posted it all at once. And I know I make a lot of typos, I can't help that. There is action, but minimal, but this is my first fic and I am not that good, I know.
 
It's okay if it's your first fic. =P I was there haha. It could be worse; your 20th where you're not improving at all.

Just keep trying and I know you can do better. ^^
 
Well first off, a story that is predominately dialogue, it'll disinterest the reader. Also, asteriks for non dialogue useage is an immature style mostly used in newbie RPers. Try to write the story in a paragraph format. It'll allow the reader to actually want to read it because seeing rows and rows of dialogue isn't very pleasing to the eye.

And I know I make a lot of typos, I can't help that. There is action, but minimal, but this is my first fic and I am not that good, I know.

That's probably the reason you're not good. If you feel you can't help typos, then your skill will not increase. Grammar is extremely important in all works of writing so saying you can't help that means you can't help your writing. The truth of the matter is, you can help that. Even if you don't know where a comma goes you can use certain grammar or punctuation websites to assist you. There is nothing wrong with that. You shouldn't doubt yourself as a writer either. I personally always think that my pieces of writing are crap, but that doesn't mean you should put yourself down. Just take constructive criticism and work with what you've got. I'd like to see you fix up this story and read the edited version. Good luck. :D
 
Thats not what I meant by the typos. And Im not an idiot, Im the top of my class. I just am prone to typing mistakes because I pretty much taught myself to type, and its typing that I need to improve on.

I didn't call you an idiot. I just said you should fix certain things and improve yourself as a writer.
 
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