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Rock of Sorrow

Nigma

~Witch~
  • 468
    Posts
    19
    Years
    Rock of Sorrow

    To have a good come-back to pkmn-community i have rewritten this fanfiction an added one additional chapter. You have to know that i am from germany so my english isn´t the best, but i hope you like it. Please write your comments or critics to my fanfiction, ok? ~Nigma~

    Será Fujin, also called the Rock of Sorrow is legendary in the pokemons world. Luckily most life-storys are leading a good way and end fine. But there are also the unlucky pokemon and even trainer. The pokemonworld has a good, and a bad side. Pokemon who didn´t have a good life are in pain and in sorrow come to the legendary Rock to die. A ten step stair leads to it from a hill which stands in the frontier of Kanto, Yohto and hoenn. But to decide to go to this stone is always arbitration of a strong willed pokemon. A guardian of the stone watches the hill every day in the year. And if a pokemon decides go up the hill, he will inform the government of the 3 pokemon nations. Of course everyone wants to help this pokemon and several poeple will go to the hill and beg the pokemon to go down the hill. But some pokemon don´t decide otherwise. Some pokemon feeled that much sorrow that their will to die is that strong that it can´t be broken by normal humans and pokemon.

    These pokemon climp the ten steps of the stair, and every step they will see their entire life in replay. The stone tries to warn this pokemon, but it also calls for it. This Fanfiction tells about one of these pokemon...


    Intro

    Why am i here? Slowly the gaits of the pokemon went forward through the dismal landscape. It started to get cold, and dark clouds gathered at the sky. A soft wind breeze blew though the fur of the pokemon and it looked up the the grey sky. It was a Raichu. The lovely colour of his fur was dull and there could be seen some wounds which had just healed. It set one gait in front of the other. It was a male Raichu, and he could see the hill where he was leaded by his destiny. What had happened to him? Slowly he came near the guardians house, and he could already see the ten steps of sorrow. Soon he would be there, no longer time to wait anymore. Why am i here?

    Jaden-Sensei was inside his house with his wife Tess and enjoyed the tea which she had prepared. "Ah, thats good!" Tess said. We can drink it now, it´s ready..." "I know, i know, i am drinking it already!" Jaden was nice man who loved tea and pokemon. Sometimes he loved tea more than pokemon, but he wasn´t sure. He was about his 65 years old and had lots of experience. He was about 1,67 cm tall and was wearing brown jeans and a blue t-shirt when he wasn´t guarding the rock. His white long hair which he had trussed into a long braid carried much wisdom in it, and his beard which was also white wasn´t very long but it looked cosy. Tessa also loves pokemon and his husband. She was proud of her man which guarded such a importand place like the rock of sorrow. For sure it wasn´t the nicest place and she didn´t want ever see a pokemon die, but now she had the change to give pokemon a second chance. 3 Pokemon she had saved already from the death, but if a pokemon didn´t chance it course, she had a task too: Everytime a pokemon wants to die and don´t want to chance, she plays the song of life fot these poor souls, too lead their way and give them the last hope.


    But now she was lucky because a long time no pokemon did come to die here. The last came for about 4 years ago. She was 63 years old and a nice woman who was dressed with a colourfull skirt and a scarf. She had also white hear, and for sure she was looking good with that. "Honey, isn´t that beatiful that no pokemon wanted to die for several years?" she asked. "Yes, that is right. Everytime a pokemon comes here, it is like i can feel the pain the pokemon has suffered. A horrible and hopeless feeling. But i have to do soon my record. Lets eat the cake you baked.!" "Yes, my dear!"

    Thunders were to hear and the rain slowly started to fall from the clouds. The ears of the Raichu looked down. Depressed and kind of crying he slowly went on to get to the hill. His fur got wet and ropy. The tail grinds on the ground all the time. No living, no happiness. Now he stood in front of the hill where the way leaded up. The guardians house stood on the way up. The big black wet eyes of the raichu seeked for hope. But... nothing.... Why am i here? Where do i go? On his neck the Raichu had an id-tag. "Dyna" was printed in. Dyna walked the way up, slowly and just good enough to life for the stairs. After a while he could hear the laughing of two people. Two old people. They seemed to be happy. He could understand what they were talking and joking about, but for sure, Dyna did want to have a trainer like this. But now it was too late. Slowly he turned his head and went up to the black steps.

    "Honey!" Tess said suddenly. "Yes Maám?" Jaden joked. "Stop joking stupid! I think... i can feel... there is a pokemon outside..." Jaden suddenly lost all his gladness he had, and slowly a bad feeling in his stomache was there. In shock he opened slowly the window to look outside. There was nothing. For some moments he and his wife didn´t breath. They looked carefully outside, but nothing was to see about a pokemon. He turned to his wife and looked straight in her eyes. "Don´t you believe me and my feeling?" Tess asked. "I know something for sure..." the old man said low. "... i am feeling now the same. And my feeling never betrayed me." He turned back and his eyes opened wide. "Jaden? What happened?" Then Tess could see the same as Jaden. A Raichu stood outside the rain, already by the steps of sorrow. How was that possible? Didn´t Tess and Jason notice this pokemon? It couldn´t be. It was suddenly there, like a ghost. It looked up to the rock. It was raining the hole time and it was a fascinating looking to see this pokemon there, but also horrible. Jadon couldn´t move. He had to open his eyes even more. The Raichu slowly turned his head in the direction of the pair in the house. It looked direct in Jadons eyes, and Jadon looked back. He could see directly into these horrible black painfull eyes. Jaden lost every colour in his face. What had this pokemon seen? What pain had it suffered? "Oh my god...." he said whispering. "Tess, drive to the village and tell the major it´s a Heji Onoha.... " "Oh no... this can´t be..." Tess said and run down the hill to their car. Jaden walked slowly outside the house to the Raichu. Jaden could feel that the death had a hand on the pokemons shoulder and he believed to see the ghostly flashing in the shadow of the pokmon. What should he do?


    ~ I have heard the "Orochimaru Theme" from Naruto and the Songs "Homunculus" and "Romei" from Full Metal Alchimist while writing... This is going to be a 10 chapter fanfic to pokemon, 1 chapter for one step the pokemon goes up the stairs.... ~ Nigma

    First Step (Chapter one)


    Dyna looked to the old man. [... what do you know...] the raichu said in a calm cold voice. Jaden was paralysed as he heared the abnormal voice of the pokemon. For usuall a raichus voice was a full of energy loaded squeeky voice, but now... "Why are you doing this? Isn´t your life fine? Perhaps some you didn´t had luck in your life, and some things failed, but is this your only option?" [... yes it is...] Dyna said and did the first step. "Noo..."



    [Hey Reji! Come on, there are the humans! We have to leave!] a voice told. [Reji! Whats going on?] Dyna remembered now. It was the voice of his further girl friend Gia. Gia a a nice female cute raichu, and probably one of the energetic ones. His real name he had received from his parents was Reji. That´s right. [Uhm, nothing, keep running!] theReji-imagination said. It was like a film or a theater. Dyna could look at his past by looking at his old him, called Reji.

    [The humans are coming! Everyone has to hide!] Gia screamed. A lot of raichus and some pikachus run away in different directions. [We will see at the meeting point. Everyone follows the emergency escape routes!] Reji shouted. Reji and Gia run both a small path in the woods who leaded directly to a big mountain. [Reji, did you see Felix?] she asked. [Nope i didn´t. Perhaps he was caught!] They run into the secret hole entry and got into a very big cave. It was like a maze, but the raichus did know the way. Soon they reached another entry in another hole. As they got through it, catching nets were thrown at them. It couldn´t be! The humans had awaited them there. All the other pokemon who they knew were catched too. [How did they get here? What is going on? Why did that happen?] Reji shouted. [Maybe it´s because of me...] Felix said. The Raichu who was the owner of this voice walked out of the shadows behind the humans. He wasn´t in a cage or caught in a net. [Felix! What is going on here?]

    [You didn´t notice yet? I have betrayed you Reji, you and your poeple. I leaded you into a trap. These humans are my Trainer!] [Please no! You can´t do that!] [I can...] The next thing Reji feeled was pain in his neck, then he fell down to the ground without consciouss. As he awoke he was enchained in a laboratory and connected to several machines. He couldn´t feel his legs, and it last 20 minutes until his thoughts could work normal.

    Gia was in this room too. She wasn´t enchained. [So did you awake?] Gia asked. [Gia? Where are we? Unleash me, hurry!] [Didn´t you get it? You are such a slow thinker Reji. I am with Felix. The hole time i predicted to be your girlfriend, but now it´s enough! We have found some new strong test objectes for our trainers...]

    Tears came into Rejis eyes. [This isn´t true...] It happened everything so fast. Why was it him, why was it Gia? Felix came in and with him some scientists. [Oh, Reji, please be our guest for today. We have to talk to you. Gia would you please get out of here?!] Gia turned and went out. The scientists were proving the connections of the machines to Reji. [So, you know what will happen to you? Well i tell you: These scientists will force electrical power into your body. That´s something you are used to, right? But not this power! We will force you to save five times more energy than your body is able to contain. There is a big chance that you will die at this point. You well be like a big dynamo.]

    [On top that, we are with the mighty team rocket. Soon you will have a trainer if you can leave here alive...] After Felix was gone, the scientists started the machine. Horrible hours of pain past by, and Reji was forced to absorb high electrical energy in a form nobody could imagine. His own strength, electricity, had gone against him. He was treated like a soulless doll, and the screams could be heared among several rooms. After the painfull torture Reji was brought to his new trainer. His electrical abilities were stronger but he couldn´t controll them. The pain was critical high. 3 of his old friends had died because of these experements.

    Why did that happen?


    Dyna woke up. Just some minutes had passed by since he did the first step on these stairs. Jaden got some steps to the raichu. "Please, don´t go ahead!"
     
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    Chapter 2

    Second Step (Chapter 2)

    Why didn´t the human understand something like that? Why couldn´t he just go away? [Why can´t you just go away? I try to die a very own way, so please don´t disturb me...] "But why... Losing your family is very bad, but what happened to you that you want to die now?"

    [You have no idea...]



    The cell was dark. Much pain he had suffered, endless times they reached a new pain limit. Every time he got tortured, he lost consciousness, and every time he heard footsteps they arrived to catch him up to do even more incredible pain to him. Why was he here? Why did Gia betrayed everyone? Footsteps were heard. He shuddered. They are here again? Why can´t they just kill me? Why do humans do such things? His cell door opened and he was mechanically forced out of his cage. The Rocket members looked at him, but didn´t do anything. They just stared. Why... why aren´t they forcing me to go? What is going on here? He thought frightened. Then the Rocket members got out of his way and stepped some meters to the side. Reji saw a shadow in the corner. "So you are trained or something like that? Is that so?" the shadow asked. "Sir, he is the strongest one." A member answered the shadow´s question. "Why do you think that he is the strongest?" the shadow further asked. "Because he is the only one who survived the tortures..." That was a shock for Reji. Everyone... died? That´s... not possible... Zuzou, Tria, Hector.... the Volt brothers... everyone... died? Reji was unable to think.

    What should he do? Work for this dirty Rocket whatever? Why did they do something like that? They have killed my family... The shadow stood up and got to Reji slowly. It feels horrible... it feels painfull... The shadow had passed the half of the room. ... Why.... why? WHY? I... rage... i... this feeling is... hot... burning... is this... hatred? The shadow got into the light. It was something like a trainer, just with the rocket emblem on his shoulder. "You are going to be mine..." he said while he was smiling. "Your family was weak... i will be your new..." a snarl was heared. "What the... " the trainer got frozen. He looked to the Raichu which face couldn´t be seen. The Raichus body trembled. Then suddenly he looked fast into the trainers eyes, the Raichus eyes furious like hell. [I HATE YOU ALL! I HATE HUMANS!] Reji screamed and jumped at the trainer. His new power the Rockets had given him got in use and the trainer painfully screamed out loud as the electrical energy burned everything. "Alarm the Raichu is..." one of the other two members screamed, but his breath was but by the Raichus tail which squeezed together hard the neck of the human while the Raichu jumped at the other member. Reji Mega punched him until the Rocket member didn´t move anymore and his fists were red from the Rocket members blood.

    The other member had already died. The Raichus tail had gotten a to a weapon. After he realized what he had done, he fled out of the room. He got up the stairs to find himself in a big building. It was something like a big mansion. Another Rocket member was guarding the stairs, but stood with the back into the Raichus direction. Reji smelled the blood scent on his fists. It was like a nightmare. He just did want to get out of this mansion, but his body moved otherwise. He saw that his tail whipped around the neck of the human and broke it with a fast and strong move. Another member saw this. He screamed something he couldn´t understand anymore. He was in rage. He did want to survive. Survive... Survive... Survive! He jumped at the Rocket member and did a iron tail attack and cut the human in two pieces.

    Horrible! Another had died because of him. Normally he would´t do such attacks on humans, and for normal his attacks weren´t that strong. But he just did it. And even if he thought it was horrible, he felled something like pleasure. Pleasure that he got rid of them. He ran trough the corridor to reach another door. He mega punched it and the door got destroyed right away. The two rocket members which had guarded the doors the other side flew away. His body ran into another rocket member which tried to shoot him with a gun. But he failed because the Raichu did an agility attack to evade the bullets. He got into combat range and attacked him with a big thunder shock.

    The human got instantly killed, but Reji made a final strike with a iron tail attack. The blood fountain changed his fur color into a deep red. There she was. Gia! She had looked at Reji all the time since he got into this room with big frightened eyes. He saw it, he saw that she did want to scream, but couldn´t. She feared the happenings. The loved Reji who couldn´t even scratch a fly, had killed a human right in front of her! [I got you!] Felix screamed from behind, attacking with a quick attack. But Reji just turned around and cut of his head with an iron tail attack. It made a loud "chiiiinnnn" and the dead mouse body from fell down right in front of Gia. She stood there, shuddered, in inner pain and suffering, lost everything she had and right in front of her Felix and Reji. [Reji... you... have...] [Reji is dead...] he answered, wondering why he said that. His mind hadn´t got used to a state like that. He was in rage, and anger. [My name is Dyna, and i hate you...] he watched himself jumping out of the window into the freedom of the wood, leaving a shocked Gia behind him.

    ~Ah folks! A new chapter was ready for launch, so i thought i load it up quick! Since i have no comments to my fanfic i hope you read it?!~
     
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    This is actually pretty interesting. It's original and keeps the reader absorbed. :O

    You might not have gotten any comments because you posted the first part so long ago. Also, like I said in my other thread, not many people like fanfiction here. Try serebii or fanfiction.net as well if you haven't already.

    The second chapter is better grammar and spelling wise.. maybe you should edit the first one too. :D Anyway, I hope you continue!
     
    heh, thank you diamondpearl! I own some fanfictions on fanfiction.net but truly i don´t know why nobody wants to read a fanfiction HERE. *sigh
     
    Seeing as how you've been looking for reviews, I decided to stop by and read your fic! ^^

    I enjoy the story idea that you have. It's interesting to read about a Pokemon that has to climb ten steps in order to die. I like it a lot!

    The one thing that is stopping me from completely enjoying the story is the grammar and spelling. English is a hard language to learn, and it's hard for me to explain. What makes sense to me, a native English speaker, could be confusing to you.

    This is why I'm advising you to get yourself two things. The first is a word processing program (I can get you links for free ones to download if need be). With word processing programs, you get a spell-checker, which catches misspelled words that you type. They aren't fool-proof, and they still make mistakes. This is why you need a beta-reader. These beta-readers are a gift from the divine being because they can catch nearly all the mistakes, give you advice, and help you with your story. Think of them as your own personal reviewer.

    Unfortunately, PC seems to be devoid of beta-readers. (I would offer to help, but my life is too busy. Sorry.) If you really wanted to, you could look around Serebii. They have many members over there that are willing to help you out.

    Grammar and spelling are the only things wrong with this fic. Don't be discouraged by the lack of reviews found here. PC has a dead fanfic section, kept alive by a select few. But don't worry. You can expect a review from me time-to-time! ^^

    Just as a thing that I noticed: The Raichu, in the first chapter, had the name of "Reji". In the second chapter, he was known as "Renji". Decide which spelling you like more and stick with it for the rest of the fic. I got a little bit confused when I stopped reading about Reji and started reading about Renji.
     
    Thanks a lot Hanako and thx rei173!

    I fixed the name difference and some other things, but you have to know until know i didn´t find a native reader who would fix some of my issues. On top of that, i use "ieSpell" to check most things. So if you have a better program you are welcome!

    Soon i will send the next chapter! Hope that this won´t be a double post! ^^
     
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