some random poem i wrote

[Rai]

Woot! here is some random poem i wrote!

It is a beatiful day
With a calm breeze
It is a meadow
Full of flowers and life
Yet there is some sorrow
It's as sweet as honey
And as stubborn as a mule
It makes me so happy
Except when i'm in withdrawal
I discovered it long ago
But just realised it's true meaning
I love you

is it any good? XD

 

[Kyosuke]

is it good? Its great XD I like the overall flow of it, and how the words play off nicely with each other. But the only thing really is when you put "i" insted of "I" it makes it look like a sort of really rushed poem, insted on one that has a lot of thought put into it.

Great job nonetheless ^^.

 

[Rai]

Thank You! I'm glad you liked it! and I made the lower case "I" capital!

 

[Natsuki]

Woot! here is some random poem i wrote!

It is a beatiful day
with a calm breeze
it is a meadow
full of flowers and life
yet there is some sorrow
it's as sweet as honey
and as stubborn as a mule
it makes me so happy
except when i'm in withdrawal
I discovered it long ago
but just realised it's true meaning
I love you

is it any good? XD

It's very nice, Rai. ^___^ I think you can improve a little bit by adding some more detail into some of your lines, though they aren't bad at all right now. =3 Also, when writing a poem, be sure to use capitol letters at the beginning of each line and have a form of punctuation at the ends of each line, to help the flow and whatnot. X3

Overall nice work Rai! ^^

~Kelsey

 

[Rai]

Thank You very much! ^__^