the cool little snivy sat on a tree

[danaxe]

yeah put it together in 5 muinits

said a cool little snorunt sat on a tree
''glailie or frosslass what should i be?''
said a rather mean emboar sat on a bee
''a rather small snow pile that's what you'll be''

constructive comments please

are you allowed to post here

 

[The Shiny Umbreon in the Corner]

First of all don't take this the wrong way ok!
It seems the third line doesn't mean sense but some poems don't make sense but I don't see how a Emboar could sit on a bee.
Secondly It's seems to be reversed.

Here is what you have:
said a cool little snorunt sat on a tree
''glailie or frosslass what should i be?''
said a rather mean emboar sat on a bee
''a rather small snow pile that's what you'll be''

Here is what would make more sense:
''Glailie or Frosslass what should I be?''
Said a cool little Snorunt that sat on a tree
''a rather small snow pile that's what you'll be''
Said a rather mean Emboar that sat on a bee

And I also added proper punctuation if you don't have proper punctuation it seems sloppy. Hehe punctuation is one of my many Pet Peeves lol.
It is rather creative : )