The hall of darkness

[Xion]

Once again, another one of my messed up poems done in my poetry class after thinking how would the soul of some would feel after spending years waiting in the same place, that can hear everyone but no one can hear it, that can see everyone but no one can se it. so I came up with this,

Walking down the hall,
all the lights just went off.
All the doors where being closed,
and I stood there all alone.
For every step another door was closed,
for every wink my heard went cold.

I was alone in the hall of darkness,
waiting, just waiting for that door.
The door that would take me to a new world,
to a place of light and joy.

Help me out,
come here with me.
Take my hand, come with me.
Let me show you what I feel,
let me give you a day being like me.
and together we shall wait,
for another 250 years.

 

[Shana]

I really admire that, for I have felt that way before- waiting for something to happen to make life worth it. Great work, I enjoyed reading it.

 

[Natsuki]

Once again, another one of my messed up poems done in my poetry class after thinking how would the soul of some would feel after spending years waiting in the same place, that can hear everyone but no one can hear it, that can see everyone but no one can se it. so I came up with this,

Walking down the hall,
all the lights just went off.
All the doors where(were) being closed,
and I stood there all alone.
For every step another door was closed,
for every wink my heard went cold.

I was alone in the hall of darkness,
waiting, just waiting for that door.
The door that would take me to a new world,
to a place of light and joy.

Help me out,
come here with me.
Take my hand, come with me.
Let me show you what I feel,
let me give you a day being like me.
and together we shall wait,
for another 250 years.

Awwwwwwws, such a sweet poem. ^____^ It makes me think of so many events in my life. The number 250 makes me think of that Pokemon episode with the 200 year old Ninetales. XD

Aaaaaaaaanyways, this poem makes you think about the true feelings of people and how we react to other humans and creatures around us. ^^

The only problem was the fact that some lines have capitol letters and others do not. Even if you have a comma after one line, then line after it still has to have a capitol letter at the begining. ^__^ It's just standard poem writing format. X3 Also, I believe you meant to have the word "were" instead of "where" in line three of stanza one. ^^

Nice poem, Xion, keep up the great work. ^o^

~Kelsey