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Things you don't say to a cop.

Hey Tubby. Lay of those doughnuts. Stop chasing the Dunkin Doughnuts truck!
I never said that though.
 
Hmmm....

A cop pulls you over for speeding and walks up to your window.
you pull out a twenty dollar bill and show him it and say: Hey, why don't we just forget about all this...

Lol, my Reading Teacher told us her daughter did that once xD
 
Hey, wanna a Pokemon battle?

Heh heh heh.
 
"If I poke your stomach will you giggle?"

I saw a short dedicated to this at the mall...but this one was made-up. I'll have to find the shirt and find some quotes.
 
man: dont you do ANY exersize
cop: YES I DO!
man: what the "one armed donut curl"!
 
"On the way to the station can we stop and get a 12 pack?"

"Wait a second officer, can you hold my beer while i get my license."
 
"What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.

Pretend you are gay and ask him out.

When he says no, cry.

If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.

Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.

Chew on the pen, nervously.

Clean your ear with the pen.

If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
 
How many officers does it take to get up on a latter to change a light bulb? Only you, you're the only who could fit!

I wasn't speeding, you were going faster than me!

Have you ever been arrested for speeding? No? Than don't be a hypocrit!

How many fingers am I holding up? 5? No, 4! The thumb isn't a finger, it looks like I ain't the one drunk!
 
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