Washing Over

crazed flareon

Banned
    • 83
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    20
    Years
    My band: Rise again
    My song: Washing over

    Sitting on a cop plane acting all insane when the pilot says we're going down, I was staring at the ashes after fourty-five lashes then I realized....
    I promised you I'd hold on tightly I'll never let you go {screams} It'll be alright!!!! But I'm washing over burdens on my shoulder and I try not to cry but then I see your face over and over in my mind{echos}But I'm washing over burdens on my shoulder and I try not to cry but when I see your face over and over in my mind{guitar solo}Watching the tide roll past my side, watching the snow cringe at my toes, I'm washing over burdens on my shoulder and I try not to cry, but when I see your face over and over in my mind{screams} I'm washing over I'm washing over I'm washing over!!!!!!!! [softly sings} In the tide...............................................
     
    Shouldn't this be in the poems section, and not the fic? But, it was alright. Nice title.

    ~*~Saphi, the Evil Lynx Girl~*~
     
    Yes, this is supposed to be in Poetry... What, did you warn him?
     
    Yuppers, this belongs in the Poetry section. I'll just move it for ya. ^_^

    *moves*

    crazed flareon said:
    Sitting on a cop plane acting all insane when the pilot says we're going down, I was staring at the ashes after fourty-five lashes then I realized....
    I promised you I'd hold on tightly I'll never let you go {screams} It'll be alright!!!! But I'm washing over burdens on my shoulder and I try not to cry but then I see your face over and over in my mind{echos}But I'm washing over burdens on my shoulder and I try not to cry but when I see your face over and over in my mind{guitar solo}Watching the tide roll past my side, watching the snow cringe at my toes, I'm washing over burdens on my shoulder and I try not to cry, but when I see your face over and over in my mind{screams} I'm washing over I'm washing over I'm washing over!!!!!!!! [softly sings} In the tide.............................................. .
    Click to expand...

    Awwws, this song has really neat lyrics to it! ^______^ I think the only problem is the flow, or at least the way you're presenting the song. It looks like one big paragraph, when really, it would be much easier to read if you put it into stanzas.

    Normally, I'd do this for you, but since I don't know the exact rythem of your song, it would be hard for me to do so. ^^;; Anyways, this song was really good. It was kinda like saying you're going to start a new life, and wash away the bad things you've done and begin fresh.

    Great work flareon, I hope you write more songs in the future. ^.~

    ~Kelsey

    EDIT: Oh, and ECC, please, only tell him that this is in the wrong forum then report it, there's no need to make SPAM post about it. <.<;;
     
    Last edited:
    dark_espeon said:
    Yes, this is supposed to be in Poetry... What, did you warn him?
    Click to expand...

    This is the last time I will be 'spamming' this thread, but yes, I said to him that it should be in the subforum for poetry, but nooooo, he went on telling me how 'It's in other writing!' and junk....

    ~Sawrah~ :chinese:
     
    *sigh* He such a n00b... Lol, J/k.

    ~*~Saphi: Cute, but Psycho~*~
     
    Stop all this spamming, this is a poetry thread not a thread in OC, its disrepectful to be spamming his thread like this and I'm sure you wouldn't want it to happen if you both made a poetry thread either.


    Nice song, songs seem to be getting more and more popular here XD, but I really like the setting of a plane crashing and spending the last moments together, while at the same time explaning the feeling you have. Like it was said earlier, the form that you have it in makes it seem sloppy but it really is some quality work you have here just change that and you have yourself a realy good song.
     
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