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FinalEclipse
July 20th, 2008, 09:32 PM
Hi this is my first sprite comic called Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Darkrai's terrror

Story:
Darkrai wants control of Time, Space and Darkness. But two heroes (Wigglytuff and Chatot) are willing to stop him. The battles Wigglytuff and Chatot face will be tough but they will do anything to stop Darkrai. They will have to make their way through challenging dugeons beyond their wildest imaginations. They will need Giratina's help though and to get that they will need to head to the Torn World!

Titlescreen:
http://www.pokecommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=1114&pictureid=6547

Prolouge Part 1:
http://www.pokecommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=1114&pictureid=6546


Credit to Spriter's resource for all sprites used in this comic.


Please comment constructively.

Tyrantrum
July 20th, 2008, 09:37 PM
Nice, but u may want to add more to the background. :)

FinalEclipse
July 20th, 2008, 09:42 PM
thanks but the background is meant to be plain because its just a dark void

[NovaPirate]
July 21st, 2008, 01:10 PM
Wow, okay then, here we goooo.

1. 1 panel comics are like boxes of cookies with only one cookie. It's just completely ridiculous, you need to have more panels for it to be enjoyable.

2.The whole 'Darkrai/Deoxys, [insert other legendary here], etc starts causing havoc and a pair must stop him' has only been done a million times. I would highly suggest you think of something else.

3. Work on your background and your void. Coloring a panel default paint blue and using the circle tool to make a black.. circle isn't very aesthetically pleasing. tSR has sprites for you to use, so use them. Even if the background is meant to be plain, a nice starry sky or some evil looking setting from some random game can look nice but still not too flashy :}

4. Speech bubbles; they're ever so simple. Even better, if you use tails, then you don't need to have

Darkrai: [insert text here]

instead you can just have

[insert text here]

It's also easier to read, another thing about speech bubbles however is that you must put them in vertical order so it's easy to read.

[Comment 1]
[Response 1]
[Comment 2]
[Response 2]

5. Title screens are overly cliche, but if you're going to use one, make sure it's pretty. A mouse scrawled DaRKrais TerrOR isn't very nice when the text tool can make a neat Darkrai's Terror :]

That's all for now. Don't be discouraged, just keep on making more comics, with ideas from other comics (Not plots, just small ideas, and give credit) and new ideas of your own. You'll continue being better. Another word of advice is that NOT ALL COMICS NEED TO BE POSTED. Sometimes a comic can be just for practice. And never give up on grammar. Grammar loves you, so love it back.

That's all.

idrum4all2see
July 22nd, 2008, 06:22 PM
I agree with Nova Pirate.
Although I would do something along the lines of stopping a team thing.
Just not legendary, Cause legendary is too high for normal pokemons to stop.
Think of it like this:
----Legends----
-----------------
-----------------
-----------------
-Regular PKMN-
Whole different league...

Wallace Berlitz
August 13th, 2008, 02:38 AM
Hmm... It's cool that you use tSR sprites. The members' rips are awesome. Hope to see more from you.

iEdster
September 4th, 2008, 11:22 AM
Just one panel?
Add more stuff.