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[Pokémon] Journey in the 4 regions!(PG-13)

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  • Intro
    So yeah,this is my first fan fiction on PokeCommunity.Hope you like it!
    Notes:Mild violence happens in fiction.Names used from certain people.

    Prolouge
    It was 9:00 AM in the Hoenn region.A few kids were hurrying to Prof.Birch's lab,
    including a kid called Renny.Renny was eager to get his Pokemon,like his childhood
    friends Owen & Tom.They were the only ones turning 10 that year.'Ah,hi kids!'Said
    Prof.Birch.'Only you three this year?'He asked.
    'Yep',said Tom.
    'Well then'he said with a smile,'Let's get started then!'
    'Tom,I know what you want.Torchic.'He said,with a bit of uneasiness in his voice.
    'Well,this one I got this year is...Kinda weird,like the other two starters I caught.'
    'It likes to stay out of it's PokeBall.'He continued.'Sorry if it's any trouble for you
    three.'
    'Oh,it's OK!'Said the three in unison.
    They then got their Pokemon,some PokeBalls,a Pokedex each,and then they left.
    'So,who's going by themself?'Asked Renny.
    'I will.'Said Tom.
    'Whaaat?"Asked Renny and Owen.
    'Well,I don't want you two getting Legendary Pokemon as well,do I?'Said Tom.
    They agreed about this,and Tom left for Rustboro.
    'Well,we two should go together then.'Said Renny.And they left.

    Well,that's it for now.Now comment.
    All rights reserved.Copyright Blaziquaza 2010.
     
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    • Age 37
    • Seen today
    I'm sorry, mate, but this needs some work to it to help it meet the standards of this section.

    Grammar needs improvement. Even if you just hit the enter button twice between paragraphs, it would be easier to read. You also need some description and more narration of what's going on.

    Ask at the Beta Thread to see if there's someone who's willing to look over your story for you before you post it, and who will work with you one-on-one to help you improve.
     
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