View Full Version : I want to see other people, kind of.

April 7th, 2010, 5:21 PM
First I should note this is a bit of a mature topic.

I've been dating this girl for a little over a year now. We love each other, we're going to the same college...

But I get a lot of feelings for other girls.
I've never hit on other girls, or cheated on her.
But sometimes I feel like I won't be able to trust myself around anyone who wants to go out with me.

She asked me at one point if she wanted to have an open relationship and I said no.
I love her and want to be faithful.
But how can I learn to stop thinking these things before I act on them?

April 7th, 2010, 5:27 PM
Is it just sexual feelings towards other girls? Based on their looks and such? It's important for yourself to think that through so you know what might be bothering you...

Simply put, you might just want to bring it up another level with her. And if you cannot, your thoughts for doing the same thing to other girls would pop up instead.

Now I'm not trying to say you are just in a relationship for the sex or something to that nature, but simply that when one's hormones go raging... well things have to be done. XD

Even something as simple as getting to know your girlfriend better might help, if you haven't already done so.

April 7th, 2010, 5:29 PM
First you must understand, that it's natural to still feel attracted to other women.

It's really a matter of self-control. If you really and seriously love her enough, that should be enough to hold you back from taking on another girlfriend, or trying to date/flirt with other girls.

If you simply cannot control yourself, this is something you should sit down with your girlfriend and discuss this with her. If worse comes to worse, it'd be better to admit your own immaturity and break up with her yourself if you can't deepen your relationship with her.

It'd be far harder to get her to trust you again if you just let yourself cheat on her and then get caught doing it and have her break up with you over it.

So yeah, either man up, or break up. It'll save a lot of heartbreak.

Living Desert
April 7th, 2010, 6:02 PM
She asked me at one point if she wanted to have an open relationship and I said no.

I think this is an important issue. At the time when that the topic was brought up, did you feel as though it was a reflection of her feelings towards you, or based on her perception of your feelings for her?

You don't have to answer, that might be a bit personal, but I think that it might be something worth mulling over.

Chloroform Girl
April 7th, 2010, 6:43 PM
Well you may get some feelings for other girls but just know you love your girlfriend, feelings to the other girls are just crushes or for attractiveness, if they ask you out, Do you really want to sacrifice the love you already have for some other girl that the relationship might end in a month(and probley will)?

April 7th, 2010, 6:49 PM
Everyone feels attracted to more than one person, it's completely normal. Just remember: If you truly love this girl, that's not something that can be replaced lightly. Part of the reason why genuine love is so special is because you keep a commitment even though you're tempted to bail.

Spend more time with her, keep a picture of her in your wallet, tell other people (and her) how special she is to you, stuff like that. Everyone has these kinds of thoughts while they're in a relationship, and theycan be overcome.

April 7th, 2010, 7:43 PM
Do a little soul searching. Ask yourself how you feel about your girlfriend. What are your motives for wanting to be with her? Are you in love with her or the idea of being in love with her because it's what you wish were the case? Try to be honest with yourself.

April 7th, 2010, 8:45 PM
I do love her and I want to stay with her for as long as we love/can stand each other.
Thanks for helping me out, I feel a lot better about this.

I do love her and I want to stay with her for as long as we love/can stand each other.
Thanks for helping me out, I feel a lot better about this.

April 8th, 2010, 1:15 PM
I had this problem, except I ended up meeting one of these girls while I was still with my (at the time) girlfriend. I didn't "cheat" as in get with this other girl, but both my ex and myself view it as cheating nonetheless. Now I'm trying to get her back.

Either end it with your girlfriend, or stick it out with her. DO NOT be unfaithful. It's the worst feeling in the universe to know you've broken the love of your life's heart.

April 8th, 2010, 2:59 PM
It's simply lust. Gotta get over it.

My GF knows that I flirt with other girls, but she's okay with it, as long as I don't get all serious. xD

April 8th, 2010, 4:08 PM
Talk it out with her. Despite some bumps coming up, a brute honesty relationship is the healthiest way to go. And just because a negative reaction is had, (which is bound to happen, life is full of things that can make people cry, or feel bad.) doesn't mean you should stop being honest. Give it time and talk it out, and this should prove to you whether or not you should move on(or take a break), or have someone you really want to be with.

September 18th, 2012, 3:53 PM
Wow, I can't believe I forgot about this. Sad to say we are apart as of July 2011. Same situation, but she was the one to give in.


September 18th, 2012, 4:57 PM
Aw, I'm sorry. ]:

However I have to close this now. It's against the rules to revive an old topic.