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KLS
February 4th, 2005, 04:24 PM
Oh lotus, lotus, I'll always nurture and care for you,
you値l grow with abundance and patience;
bringing joy to those that you seek


May you drift like the wind carefree yet so passionate
you represent innocence so please.

purge away thy guilt,
one day you値l become a magnificent lotus
and inspire others with your beauty

enjoy.
(edit 1: yeah i forgot to put it in stanza form).

MegaDitto
February 4th, 2005, 04:25 PM
That was beuatiful.Great job.

Kyosuke
February 4th, 2005, 05:32 PM
Nicely done KLS ^^. The Lotus seems to refer to a kind, gentle person whose presence just emits positive energy everywhere they go, and that energy gets spread to anyone around.

Really impressive poetry, I loved the word play you used to describe more of the Lotus, and the characteristics of it as well.

Its not a big deal, but it would be a little neater if you put in into stanza form, such as:

Oh Lotus, Lotus, I'll always nurture and care for you,
you値l grow with abundance and patience;
bringing joy to those that you seek.

May you drift like the wind carefree yet so passionate
you represent innocence so please.

Wash away thy guilt,
one day you値l become a magnificent lotus
and inspire others with your beauty.

But its not a big deal with the way you put it, but then again, everyone has their own opionion about how things should be done ^^'.

Kelsey
February 4th, 2005, 05:47 PM
oh lotus, lotus, I'll always nurture and care for you,
you値l grow with abundance and patience; bringing joy to those that you seek
may you drift like the wind carefree yet so passionate
you represent innocence so please, wash away thy guilt
one day you値l become a magnificent lotus and you値l inspire others with your beauty

enjoy.

Oh, this one was very insightful, KLS. ^____^

This poem made me think of it as a lullaby that a mother was reciting to her child. <3 I love how it's encouraging others to grow and learn and just live out life as a happy soul, filled with hope, not sorrow.

I didn't spot any spelling errors, so kudos to you! ^o^ I also loved how this poem not only inspires others to do their best, but to return the favor by also encouraging even more to be the best they can. ^____^ Great job KLS. ^^

EDIT: I forgot to note, that it would be better to put your poem into stanza form. But, seeing as Lance has already pointed this out in an example, I needn't show you how to do it again. ^.~

~Kelsey