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Sawyer
February 5th, 2005, 11:00 PM
yeah, i know, it's really crappy... XD


From the moment I looked at you,
I knew you were the one for me.
You loved me more than anything,
But love never lasts.
Where did I go wrong,
Where was the flaw?
But now I know the truth,
It really was an illusion.


I was listening to Green Day when i made it... XD

Kyosuke
February 6th, 2005, 01:53 AM
Its not crap at all XD, its pretty good actully. Just in that short poem it explains how "love" can be blind, when caught in the moment then realizing how it was all a mistake.

It would be slightly better if you added a backstory to this, to explain more of why you wrote this, and give a better understanding to the person reading it. But the "short and sweet" approach worked really well here ^^.

Sawyer
February 6th, 2005, 10:18 AM
well if i told you why i wrote it then i'd have to think about it more, then i'd probably start crying or whatever, and that's no fun. XD

Dignity
February 6th, 2005, 10:57 AM
hmm, I like this poem ^___^ I hope i will be seeing more from you =3 ~origin

Kelsey
February 6th, 2005, 11:08 AM
yeah, i know, it's really crappy... XD


From the moment I looked at you,
I knew you were the one for me.
You loved me more than anything,
But love never lasts.
Where did I go wrong,
Where was the flaw?
But now I know the truth,
It really was an illusion.


I was listening to Green Day when i made it... XD

Aws, it's not crappy. <3 I really liked it. It describes how many relationships tend to flow sometimes. How you fall in love, and you feel it will last forever. How naive a thought that can be. XD For nothing lasts forever. ^^

Awsome job ACManga! You should write more poems. ^^ If you ever need help with them, I'd be happy to ablige. ^^

~Kelsey

KLS
February 6th, 2005, 11:15 AM
wow...
this was awesome, it shows how love can turn so tragic.
great job.

White Christmas Kitsune
February 6th, 2005, 11:18 AM
*huggles shane* That poem was beautiful, shane..

Sawyer
February 6th, 2005, 11:32 AM
mmhmm... thanks Fifi. (i made the poem for her, before we decided we'd pair again >_<)

Kylie-chan
February 7th, 2005, 01:17 AM
Wow, Shane. o_o That's pretty good, actually~ it describes a lot of my emotions. ^^;

Sawyer
February 9th, 2005, 07:50 AM
thanks, Kylie. i've been doing poetry a lot at home lately, but just not posting it at PC ^^,