View Full Version : Death [Pending Title ~ Rated R]

May 24th, 2005, 2:27 PM
Katsuro's Quick Guide:
Title: Death [For now...]
Genre: Drama
Rating: PG-17
--For: Death, swearing
Type: Short Story
Author's Notes: This is a rather stylized piece. Not my usual short story. In fact, this was supposed to be divided into a longer novella. Oh well. I actually don't like it much and it's REALLY negative. Like I said, not my usual stuff. Can you guess what the police officer told him? I'll tell you at the end ^_~

Why? It was probably the most expected thing to say besides breaking down and crying. It was probably the most widely spread question he mused, that one might ponder over at night. Thinking about it made his head hurt, so David simply stopped. Stopped thinking, stopped talking, stopped looking.

Son. Are you all right? We have psychologists ready to help you in the grieving process, and ease the emotional pain you must be in, the police officer said it with a slight drawl, making him sound impossibly silly. A fact that would be lost on people that werent in his position.

No, He didnt want to take advice from a shrink. Especially not some stupid police officer who probably had never lost anyone in his life. Do you have any idea why?

Son, were looking into that-

Will you PLEASE stop calling me SON?! I JUST LOST MY F**KING FATHER!

The officer was momentarily taken aback. From the guys calm face you couldnt see a hint of emotion. Yet there he was; yelling at the top of his lungs. Of course, death made you do that sort of thing he supposed. Finally, the officer stepped forward, deciding that he had had enough of this conversation. Look kid, Ill give you this number. Call it if you have any problems. The PD will get back to you on the case and details. Really sorry about what happened. He said kid in a adult to toddler way. Enjoying this job of bearing bad news. Reveling in the way that he could affect people in such horrible ways.

You dont know what youre doing.


You heard mean. You dont give a d*mn about my father, and you dont give a d*mn about the case.

Now kid, thats not fair. I dont LIKE doing this. Its just a part of my job.

Bullsh!t. You think I dont know that you enjoy this? Every torturing minute for me is like icing on a cake. You sick perverted b*sterd! Did you really think you can hide that horrible, awful, LAUGHING SMIRK BEHIND YOUR EYES?! You dont give a **** about anyone. Least of all me. David reached onto the coffee table next to the door. A gun rested precariously on it. I was already suicidal. Couldnt tell, could you? Well guess what? Now I can take you down with me.

The shots rang throughout the neighbor hood.

Author's Closing: His father commited suicide.

May 25th, 2005, 5:02 PM
If you read this, can you just tell me what you think? I really don't care if it's "IT SUXXORED!" Because, it probably does >>; I don't want to read it. It's depressing.

I honestly don't care if you critize it.

June 24th, 2005, 8:41 AM
Well i liked the way you blocked the curse words but older people can tell what they are like me. Please write more.

June 24th, 2005, 10:33 AM
Well i liked the way you blocked the curse words but older people can tell what they are like me. Please write more.
most cuss words are blocked automaticly.

I liked it. The anger in it just made it interesting! makes me wanna listen to linkin park 'krwling'!

June 24th, 2005, 3:21 PM
Very abrupt opening, as well as an interesting ending. I like how you added cursewords to make an emphasis on the protagonist's anger. I can't really comment on this, otherwise from the fact that I want to see more. =3 (*ignores warning*)

Great job! n____n

July 12th, 2005, 6:46 PM
*Stand there in utter shock
I am a fan of depressing stories, and wish to see more from you. Right now, I am utterly speachless. All I can say is, "God Job."

Chase Leader
July 15th, 2005, 9:31 PM
Very interesting, if you ask me your story could use some more insight but keeping the read guessing is also important, you did a great job with this story, it could stand to use a little more originality but not bad at all.

July 19th, 2005, 7:13 AM
I actually got comments o.o; I switched back to this username [DarkCircuit and I are one and the same =D] so I thought this was still rotting with no comments >______>;

This is the story that I hate the most out of any I've written ^0^ It's so depressing, and full of swearing... Looking back, I'm not sure where this came from, or why I was possesed into writing it x.x;

But, at least you all liked it a little... There'll never be a follow up to this, it was a very short one-shot.

What's rather interesting, is that I write horror mostly [Stephen King has taken control @@;] so I'm pretty used to writing in depressing death tones, but some how this story is more depressing than those. XD This is a random rant about me trying to figure out why I wrote this if you couldn't tell. Guess that'll go unanswered >.o;

Thanks for reading everyone! ^0^

August 13th, 2005, 8:01 AM
I'm thinking of adding to this. ~.~

Bear with me, I need to save this from death so I can add-