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View Full Version : When Twillight Breaks ~A One-Shot~


Night-Kun
June 8th, 2005, 11:04 PM
Here's my first one-shot, hope you guys like the title better than my other fanfic... Hehehe... I may decide to add more chapters if I get a good responce... Since it is a *little* short.. ^_^;;;;

I definately think that I will add more chapters and make this a full-lenght chapter fic ^_^

"When Twillight Breaks"

The sun had just set and I awoke with a start. Nightfall had risen once more. Even with my superior vision it was hard for me to see in the still partial light. I awaited patiently like I did every night for the moon to rise. It rose and I began the hunt.

My hunt ends when the twillight breaks, yet continues on, never ceasing to stop. My hunt was for power. It hunted me just as I hunted for it. I could taste the power and lusted for it every day. Every night I came closer and closer to full power surging through my veins. Yet every morning it seems to drain and fade as the night. But tonight, that was all to change. I could feel it.

My hunt started as every other before had, waking Caterpies and Wurmples to amuse me with their feeble attempts to trap me in their web. I merely shoot out a few embers and they decide to leave me be. Then I saw it, the one and only thing that could make me achieve absolute power, a Medicham. With its defeat, I could finally reach my ultimate goal.

I stealthily approached the enemy and prepared for my onslaught. I first fired a few embers, but he detected and froze them with an icey punch. I growled and chared with teeth flashing and flames of hatred burning in my eyes. I tried a bite and he countered, sending me hurtling into a nearby tree. I got up quickly and prepared my ultimate attack, a flamethower. He turned and faced his untimely end. My flamethrower engulfed him and caused him to faint. I roared in triumph and was in a state of pure joy from my victory.

Suddenly I saw this blinding bright light. I immediately cowered and thought how painful the light was. But it was not pain coursing through my body, but the power. I had finally discovered the power. I opened up my eys to the light and then I saw it. I saw the sun and I evolved.

~Night-Kun

Author's Note: Please, if you think you know which pokemon I have written about, do not post it, simply PM me, that is all I ask.. Thank you.

Lucy Lu
June 8th, 2005, 11:16 PM
Hmmm....this was a exciting one. I liked it. Great job. I will PM you my answers later. =3

Night-Kun
June 8th, 2005, 11:18 PM
Thank you pika, If I get as good responces as yours, I'll add to it, but I'll start from when the pokemon was born and show how he became obsessed for power...

oni flygon
June 9th, 2005, 04:21 PM
Just to tell you that one-shots are called one shots because you only post them in one fell-swoop. One shots don't have chapters or anything, it's just one short story. Just lengthen it up and just emphasize more on your clarity and descriptions.

IceKing
June 9th, 2005, 06:26 PM
Hmm, not bad. It was interesting, but I cant say it was too awesome. It might be better as a chaptered fic abotu a pokemon with an obsession with power though. Use more detail and description in battles, hook the reader in! Oh and I must say, thats a WONDEFUL avatar you have there.

Night-Kun
June 11th, 2005, 11:11 AM
Just to tell you that one-shots are called one shots because you only post them in one fell-swoop. One shots don't have chapters or anything, it's just one short story. Just lengthen it up and just emphasize more on your clarity and descriptions.
I know, but I agree with IceKing here when he says that it might be better as a chaptered fic. I'll definately work on it and add more descriptions..

Hmm, not bad. It was interesting, but I cant say it was too awesome. It might be better as a chaptered fic abotu a pokemon with an obsession with power though. Use more detail and description in battles, hook the reader in! Oh and I must say, thats a WONDEFUL avatar you have there.
Thanks for reviewing, I do agree with you as stated earlier. I will definately use more detail, might include a brief account of his childhood... Haven't decided. But I might just change the title and remove that little "one-shot" portion and start working on the first chapters, and just use that chapter as an make-shift outline, starting from his childhood...
OH, And I like my avatar too ^_^

All in all, thank you all for reviewing and 'hound'ing on my fic.

*coughhintcoughcough***