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When Twillight Breaks ~A One-Shot~

Night-Kun

Ze Punkrocker iz backorz!!
318
Posts
19
Years
  • When Twillight Breaks (Possible Chap. Fic)

    Here's my first one-shot, hope you guys like the title better than my other fanfic... Hehehe... I may decide to add more chapters if I get a good responce... Since it is a *little* short.. ^_^;;;;

    I definately think that I will add more chapters and make this a full-lenght chapter fic ^_^

    "When Twillight Breaks"

    The sun had just set and I awoke with a start. Nightfall had risen once more. Even with my superior vision it was hard for me to see in the still partial light. I awaited patiently like I did every night for the moon to rise. It rose and I began the hunt.

    My hunt ends when the twillight breaks, yet continues on, never ceasing to stop. My hunt was for power. It hunted me just as I hunted for it. I could taste the power and lusted for it every day. Every night I came closer and closer to full power surging through my veins. Yet every morning it seems to drain and fade as the night. But tonight, that was all to change. I could feel it.

    My hunt started as every other before had, waking Caterpies and Wurmples to amuse me with their feeble attempts to trap me in their web. I merely shoot out a few embers and they decide to leave me be. Then I saw it, the one and only thing that could make me achieve absolute power, a Medicham. With its defeat, I could finally reach my ultimate goal.

    I stealthily approached the enemy and prepared for my onslaught. I first fired a few embers, but he detected and froze them with an icey punch. I growled and chared with teeth flashing and flames of hatred burning in my eyes. I tried a bite and he countered, sending me hurtling into a nearby tree. I got up quickly and prepared my ultimate attack, a flamethower. He turned and faced his untimely end. My flamethrower engulfed him and caused him to faint. I roared in triumph and was in a state of pure joy from my victory.

    Suddenly I saw this blinding bright light. I immediately cowered and thought how painful the light was. But it was not pain coursing through my body, but the power. I had finally discovered the power. I opened up my eys to the light and then I saw it. I saw the sun and I evolved.

    ~Night-Kun

    Author's Note: Please, if you think you know which pokemon I have written about, do not post it, simply PM me, that is all I ask.. Thank you.
     
    Last edited:

    Lucy Lu

    Keep On Moving Foward...
    6,195
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    19
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    • Seen Mar 6, 2014
    Hmmm....this was a exciting one. I liked it. Great job. I will PM you my answers later. =3
     
    7,901
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  • Just to tell you that one-shots are called one shots because you only post them in one fell-swoop. One shots don't have chapters or anything, it's just one short story. Just lengthen it up and just emphasize more on your clarity and descriptions.
     
    135
    Posts
    19
    Years
    • Seen Mar 2, 2014
    Hmm, not bad. It was interesting, but I cant say it was too awesome. It might be better as a chaptered fic abotu a pokemon with an obsession with power though. Use more detail and description in battles, hook the reader in! Oh and I must say, thats a WONDEFUL avatar you have there.
     

    Night-Kun

    Ze Punkrocker iz backorz!!
    318
    Posts
    19
    Years
  • Niko said:
    Just to tell you that one-shots are called one shots because you only post them in one fell-swoop. One shots don't have chapters or anything, it's just one short story. Just lengthen it up and just emphasize more on your clarity and descriptions.
    I know, but I agree with IceKing here when he says that it might be better as a chaptered fic. I'll definately work on it and add more descriptions..

    IceKing said:
    Hmm, not bad. It was interesting, but I cant say it was too awesome. It might be better as a chaptered fic abotu a pokemon with an obsession with power though. Use more detail and description in battles, hook the reader in! Oh and I must say, thats a WONDEFUL avatar you have there.
    Thanks for reviewing, I do agree with you as stated earlier. I will definately use more detail, might include a brief account of his childhood... Haven't decided. But I might just change the title and remove that little "one-shot" portion and start working on the first chapters, and just use that chapter as an make-shift outline, starting from his childhood...
    OH, And I like my avatar too ^_^

    All in all, thank you all for reviewing and 'hound'ing on my fic.

    *coughhintcoughcough***
     
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