View Full Version : What they will never say in LOTR

September 7th, 2005, 12:54 AM
My friends nudged this on me.. tell me if it's a good idea..
Just have somebody from Lord of the Rings say something that they would never ever really say.

I'll put in more later, got to go..

September 7th, 2005, 10:31 AM
Aragorn: Oh my gosh! I look so totally cute in this dress! Wouldn't you agree Legolas?!

Legolas: o_o;;

September 7th, 2005, 3:21 PM
Legolas: Hello, Orc friends! *glomps one*

September 7th, 2005, 3:51 PM
Gimli:Why aren't there any unicorns in this story?
Legolas:O.o *backs slowly towards the door*

Gollum:Smeagol is FWEE!!! And is now in a binding contract with the toilet paper industry! *charmin music plays in the background*

September 7th, 2005, 3:58 PM
wen frodo got speared by the ogre he actualy died
"you forgot to put your chain mail why?"!!!???
"i thought the old man was crazy" lmao XD

September 7th, 2005, 7:20 PM
Frodo: Oh screw it...take the stupid Ring...I gotta go wax my feet..


We be burnin'- Sean Paul

September 9th, 2005, 2:28 AM
Saruman: Gandalf, I am your second cousin two times removed!
Gandalf: NOO!!

Sauron: Ahh ahh! Isuldir cut off my finger! he cut off my finger! Someone owes me a finger one of these days!

Galadriel: AHGAGAGA! MAN IS SUCH A ***** SPECIES! AGAGGA ***** OVER MY ****!! (More unneccecary profanity)

September 9th, 2005, 4:58 AM
Sam: Um, mister Frodo, don't you think it's time for us to wear shoes?

Frodo *looking at the ring hypnotised*: Uh...eh....uh...What? Shoes? Who needs them anyway?

well not much but it was the best I could think of XD

September 9th, 2005, 5:06 AM
Sam: I have had enough of your complaining attitude, mister Frodo. I go home!

September 9th, 2005, 1:16 PM
*After Frodo tells Sam to leave in ROTK*

Sam: Wait a minute, your saying I get to leave? I don't have to deal with your whiny attitude or the bald grey monkey? Sweet! I don't have to starve anymore!

September 9th, 2005, 2:16 PM
Aragorn: now how does this work.... Okay... insert SwordA. into OrcB. .....

September 9th, 2005, 4:35 PM
Sam: Frodo, go **** yourself XD

September 9th, 2005, 5:14 PM
Sam: I'm tired of your crap mister Frodo!
*Turns and walks, pauses then turns around again*
Sam: I need tax fare.

Frodo: O_o

September 9th, 2005, 7:24 PM
Frodo: Drop it like it's hot XD

September 10th, 2005, 1:48 AM
Scene for the LOTR-movie:
Legolas: *smiles to camera and flips his hair* L'Oral - Because I'm worth it

September 10th, 2005, 8:12 AM
Legolas: Must...get..CONTACT LENSES! XD

September 16th, 2005, 1:29 AM
Aragorn: Have the crew actually considered letting my character EAT in this story?

Happy Dude
September 16th, 2005, 3:20 AM
I love LOTR and for this i will use my knowlage.

Elendil-Gee since when has Gil_glad gotten so fat. how could he become king of high elves.

Gil-galad-Gee is Elindil ugly talk baout getting a face lift.

Isildur-WTF liek OMG!!!!!! like full my daddo has been Pw3ned by Sauron.

September 16th, 2005, 4:31 PM
Frodo:At last, the Ring has been destroyed!
Gandalf: Does this tutu make me look fat?


September 16th, 2005, 4:39 PM
Gollum: Welcome to The Gap of Rohan, my name is Gollum! How may I help you?

Frodo: AHH!! ANTS ANTS ANTS!!!!!
Sam: *laughing*

Chase Leader
September 16th, 2005, 6:38 PM
Gollum: Um hello old chum, I have a riddle for ye. What is in my pocket?

Bilbo: No no no, you got it all wrong, you don't even have pockets, thats my line!

Gollum: I must have thine precious, do you have it?

Bilbo: ... :dead: ...

September 16th, 2005, 8:13 PM
Legolas: McDonald's....I'm lovin it!

September 21st, 2005, 1:11 AM
Elrond: For 3000 years I have kept the same beautiful smooth face! That is because I use Dove facial creamer! Buy Dove today!


September 21st, 2005, 11:02 AM
Elrond:...So anyway, I got this AWSOME new skateboard. It's so totally rad yo.

Legolas:*with an arm full of haircare products, yelling* Avon calling!

September 23rd, 2005, 1:21 AM
Aragorn: Who's up for second breakfast?
[watch the part after Bree in the movie to get this one more thouroghly]

Chase Leader
September 24th, 2005, 1:14 PM
Frodo: So why did you give me the ring?
Bilbo: Hmm...ring...?
Frodo: Oh come on just 5 seconds ago you were calling my precious my precious!
Bilbo: Hmm...nope doesn't ring a bell.
Frodo: Fine I'll take the ring and throw into the lava myself.
Bilbo: Ok now, have a nice trip.
Frodo: NICE TRIP! You expect me to risk my life to destroy one ring?
Gandolf: (perhaps I should just leave and pretend I was never here)
Frodo: And where do you think your going?
Gandalf: Can I have the ring?
Frodo: Take it.
Gandalf: Nah I don't want it, it doesn't suite me.
Frodo: Arrrgh!

September 24th, 2005, 1:23 PM
Frodo: Oh shut the (Censored) up you dumb (censored) (Censored) (censored) retarded little grayish piece of (censored) and give me the (censored) ring so I can go ahead and destroy it!
Gollum: o_0

September 25th, 2005, 1:21 PM
Gimli: Aragorn....
Aragorn: Yes?
Gimli:...I love you
Boromir's 'Ghost': HAWHAWHAW!!! Gimli and Aragorn sittin in a tree!
Aragorn: SHUT THE (censored) UP YOU (censored) HOBBIT GROPING SON OF A (censroed)!!!!!!
Boromir's 'Ghost:....k-i-s-s-i-n-g!
Aragorn: DIE!!!!!!*tackles the 'ghost'*

September 30th, 2005, 6:43 PM
Gandalf: w00t! Tonight I'm getting together with my homie Dumbledore.

September 30th, 2005, 7:53 PM
Aragorn: Okay..where's the instruction booklet that came with this sword?

Gimli: I shall hold a banquet in the honor of elves!

Elrond: Gimli, I reserve the right to a duel! Hiyah! Now, begin the staring contest...

September 30th, 2005, 7:55 PM
Aragorn: I'm gonna be king and you're not! HAHAHAHA!

October 4th, 2005, 1:19 AM
Random Orc (to Saruman): Daddy?

Saruman: *Put's on eyepatch* Arr, ya mateys! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?


October 4th, 2005, 4:41 AM
Sauron: Fear me! and......all my adorable fluffiness!


October 4th, 2005, 2:32 PM
Aragorn: It's time to duel!

Frodo: I want to be an Oscar Mayer Weiner, that is what I truly want to be! But if I were an Oscar Mayer Wienier, there would be nothing left of meeeeeeee!!!

Gollum: Ohhh, my bologna has a first name
Sam: It's O-S-C-A-R!!!!
Lurtz: My bologna has a second name
Frodo: It's M-A-Y-E-R!!!!
Aragorn: Oh, I love to eat eat everyday

Legolas: Hey Elrond want to hear a joke?
Elrond: Sure!
Legolas: OK, how do you find a dumb blonde at the bottom of a lake?
Elrond: Who knows..
Legolas: Put a scratch sniff sticker at the bottom!
Elrond: I hope you know that your calling yourself stupid..
Legolas: Oh.. *looking at his blonde hair*

Sam: Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.....*picks his nose*
Gollum: And the fat hobbit says we are nasty????

October 4th, 2005, 2:33 PM
Saruman: My little pony, my little pony...

Gollum: Hobbitses... I am your father.

Legolas: *british accent* Bond. James Bond.

NiNGi's Worst Nightmare
October 4th, 2005, 5:50 PM
Frodo: Oh crap...Where'd I put the ring?

Sam: Quit complaining, you (censored) ring carrier! I've been carrying all this (censored) (censored) on my back, and I haven't said ONE WORD! But all you have is a little ring! Wanna trade?!

Saruman: Have you saddled up Sugarbell yet? I want to go get some flowers to give this place some color...

Sauron: The ring will soon be--*fly buzzes around* ARGH! Shoo, fly, shoo! Get out of here! No, not the *buzz* EYE!!! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

Merry: Piggy-back from an orc...Like Disneyworld taken over by Darth Vader...

October 5th, 2005, 4:50 AM
Legolas: Gimli.....My love for you is like my supply of arrows....never ending

Gimli: O_o