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The Diary of an Invisible Trainer

Margot

some things are that simple
3,661
Posts
18
Years
    • they/he
    • Seen Apr 16, 2022
    Hey everyone! Well I wrote this fan fic on Serebii so I decided to post it here too so i can know what you all think!!! Ok so here's the first of the five chapters I already have done, tell me what you think and enjoy!! :D

    Dear Diary,

    My older brother just competed in the Whirl Island Cup and he won. I know I should be happy for him but I can't find the heart to be. You see ever since we were little my twin brother and I always loved Pokémon. Our parents gave us our first Pokémon when we were eight years old. He got the boy Nidoran since he's a boy and I got the girl Nidoran because I'm a girl. We loved those Pokémon more than anything so when we were ten our parents let us travel around Johto to master our skills.

    My brother won battles left and right while I however lost every single one. It broke my heart when I had to go home and to explain why I had not one badge and my perfect brother had all eight. They said If I was going to slack off and not do my best and bring honor to my family name I shouldn't even be aloud to have a Pokémon. Thus when I went to sleep that awful night I wished that I could be as good as my brother and maybe even better. I pet my Nidoran and when it nudged up against me I knew everything was going to be alright.

    The next morning however I woke up and my Nidoran wasn't by my side. I searched franticly around my house trying to find my one and only best friend. When my parents came home later that day I ran tear streaked to them begging to know where my Nidoran was. They told me I wasn't good enough to have a Pokémon and was a disgrace to our family. My Dad then explained to me how every member in our family for the past ten generations has carried the name of a legendary trainer and I was obviously not going to be one of them so I might as well give up they said.

    Just like that they kept me in the dark away from the Pokémon world. I got so frustrated with them that one night I just ran away-far away not knowing where to go. Before I knew it I had found myself deep inside a cave. I soon realized I couldn't stay there forever so I started traveling again.

    When I spotted new Pokémon I liked I caught them and trained them with the best of my abilities. The only time I battle is at night and even then I don't let the challenger see my face, I hide behind a tree or emerge behind a dark shadow. To this day I still do that, getting better and better with each match. Once I get good enough I will show my face and the world how powerful I really am and get revenge on the family that shut me out in the darkness.

    Sincerely,
    The Invisible Trainer
     
    Last edited:

    Margot

    some things are that simple
    3,661
    Posts
    18
    Years
    • they/he
    • Seen Apr 16, 2022
    Thanx guys!!!! I'l post up the next chapter tomorow!! :)
     

    Margot

    some things are that simple
    3,661
    Posts
    18
    Years
    • they/he
    • Seen Apr 16, 2022
    Well here's the next chapter! I hope you all like it! Please tell me what you think :D (Also I'm sorry 4 it being a litle late!!


    Somewhere in the busy city of Goldenrod a lady looked sadly at the missing poster tacked up onto the pokemon center wall. Her son approached her and put his arm around her for comfort.

    "I'm a terrible person aren't I?" she said in a faint whisper; tears started to form in her eyes. "No, you're not terrible you were just doing what you thought was best for her." The boy reassured her. Deep down however he knew she was right. "What if taking her pokemon away from her wasn't the best for her. She was so much happier until we put all that pressure on her. As her mother I should have let her be to do what she wants, not force her to total misery. I wish I could go back and change this whole thing." She said. Her voice was still in a low hush. "I'm sure she understands this." The boy said while getting sadder and sadder the more he looked at the picture. "SHE UNDERSTANDS THIS? JAKE I DROVE MY DAUGHTER AWAY! THE POLICE GAVE UP LOOKING FOR HER FIVE YEARS GO! Your Father is still out there somewhere looking for her too and he hasn't come back. Who knows what happened to her. She could be out there somewhere hurt, hungry or even dea-" "SHE'S PROBABLY FINE!" Jake said stopping his mom from finishing her sentence. "I just hope so…" her mom said taking one final look at the picture. It was a picture of a happy ten year-old holding a nidoran and laughing. "Where are you Jadie?" she whispered then walked away.

    Dear Diary,
    I decided I'm leaving Blackthorn for a while It's time for me to leave. I'm getting a bit bored staying here I want to see new things and new places. Speaking of new things I saw on TV that my brother won the Johto League. He said in an interview he was staying in Goldenrod for a while. I'm wondering if I should go see him….but I don't know if I'm ready just yet.

    On another note a battled a really strong trainer not to long away named Dulton. He wouldn't stop talking to me and he saw what I looked like due to the light of the moon. He said I looked like an older version of the kid on the missing poster. I decided to go see what he was talking about and sure enough it was a picture of me when I was ten with my nidoran. It made me wonder if it has been up for five years and I never noticed it or if my parents decided they wanted me back just recently. It's too late to turn myself up, I mean what am I going to say, "Hi, I'm the girl on the poster!" and then the guys would say "Really you are?" Then my reply would have to be "Yes, I'm sorry I would have turned myself in earlier but I haven't seen the poster at all the five years it has been up." It's wrong, I couldn't do that. I made my decision and left and I can't go back.
    I really hate to admit it but I still wonder what my life would be like if I never ran away. It probably would be horrible, I would not be I happy. I just didn't belong there. I actually remember the day I actually first got that invisible feeling. It was on my brother and mines tenth birthday. It was almost time to eat cake and I had the perfect wish and I couldn't wait to make it. I went to the bathroom really fast while they were setting up and when I came back out all excited to read the story I saw my brother blowing out the last candle. I was horrified, I ran up to my room and stayed there the rest of the day. I know it was stupid but come on we only get one tenth birthday and my family didn't let me celebrate on mine.

    My mom came up to my room after everyone left and explained it was only fair my brother made the wish and blew out the candles, he was older she said. (Wow by 3 whole minute! BIG DEAL!). Then she gave me a box and told me to open it. Inside was a gold necklace with a gold pokeball on it. Inside the pokeball was none other than my beloved nidoran. I lost every bad feeling I had that day and played with the pokemon I got. Of course those feelings all came back the day my parents took away my pokemon. Then I ran away to Blackthorn to get my revenge and to make my wish come true. The wish stayed the same but I have a new reason for it.

    I wished I'd be known. Back then it was because I wanted to be the best trainer but now I want to be known because I don't want to be invisible anymore but I know have to…..for now.
    Sincerely,
    The Invisible Trainer

    Meanwhile in the Blackthorn pokemon center a man was also staring at the missing picture sadly. "You've been looking at that picture for a while, do you know who that is?" a boy asked the grim looking man. "Yes, she's my daughter." He replied. "Really? I battled a girl not to long ago who looked just like her but older. "You did? Do you know where she's at now?" he asked. "Yeah, she's been staying in the Dragons Den, If you want to see her you should go now because she told me she was going to be leaving soon." The boy told him. "The Dragons Den? By the way what's your name?" the man asked. "Dulton" the boy answered. "Dulton thank you for your help." The man said while getting up to leave the pokemon center. I'm coming Jadie, get ready to come home. The man thought as left the pokemon center.
     

    Alana

    I still love this world...
    7,159
    Posts
    19
    Years
  • There are several run on sentences and you need commas but I think that's already been said. :P However, I am enjoying this story. You're doing a good job on it. I hope you can post the next chapter soon. ^_^
     

    Margot

    some things are that simple
    3,661
    Posts
    18
    Years
    • they/he
    • Seen Apr 16, 2022
    thank you!!! I'll probably have it up by tommorow since I already have it written, and I'm glad you're likeing it!!! :D I'll try to improve on my grammer though
     

    Margot

    some things are that simple
    3,661
    Posts
    18
    Years
    • they/he
    • Seen Apr 16, 2022
    Alright here's the next chater like I promised! Tell me what you think :D

    Jadie's father headed towards the Dragons Den when he heard soft footsteps behind him. He turned around to see who it was.

    "Dulton? What are following me for kid?" he asked confused by the fact that Dulton was still near him. He was grateful that he told him where he could find Jadie but that was it.

    "Well….um sir I want to make sure that your daughter is ok" he said blushing a bit. Luckily he didn't notice since it was still dark out.

    "I think it's best if I see Jadie on my own" her dad said a bit annoyed.

    Jadie's dad walked away but Dulton followed behind him very quietly.

    Jadie had just gotten comfortable leaning up against a pretty large rock. She looked up at the stars in the sky and sighed. I wonder where I should go when I leave here. I've always wanted to see Hoenn and Kanto. It would be so much fun to see those places….. "JADIE I'M HERE FOR YOU!" a loud voice echoed through the small den jolting Jadie up from her peaceful mindset.

    "JADIE! IT'S ME YOUR DAD CONNER" he yelled again. Jadie froze stiff, she suddenly felt very faint. It was surreal to her, is my dad really here? She wondered.
    "JADIE COME ON OUT I WANT TO SEE YOU NOW!" he yelled even louder. If he wants me to come out he shouldn't sound so welcoming she thought to herself sarcastically. She held her breath and tried to see if she could hear any foot steps but it was dead quiet. Did he leave? She thought. She sighed in relief. "THERE YOU ARE!" a voice boomed from the side of her making her jump.

    Jadie and her father were now facing each other. Through the moonlight shine Jadie could see that Conner did not look happy at all. His eyes were narrow and he pushed some of his grayish-brown hair out of his face to get a better view of Jadie. His lips were pressed together and he was standing very stiff and tall. Jadie on the hand looked frightened. She hid her face behind her black hair and her eyes were wide with fear. This was not necessarily from seeing her dad but knowing how much trouble she was in for running away. Even in the darkness Conner could see that Jadie was shaking.

    "Why did you leave?" Conner asked coolly. He didn't mean for it to come out mean but it did.

    "Because you guys made me miserable" Jadie said back even meaner. She tried to make herself sound tough but on the inside she was scared. She was not planning on letting it show.

    "That wasn't our intention" he said, his face began to warm up.

    "Well you guys sure had a funny way of showing it" she said. She felt a bit better when her dad grew a defeated expression on his face. That immediately went back to mad and he said "Listen, I've searched nonstop for five long years looking for you and you are coming home now!"

    "NO I'M NOT!" Jadie yelled taking off away from the Dragon's Den.

    "JADIE NO-PLEASE COME BACK HERE!" Conner yelled chasing after his daughter. He felt guilty for what he had done and he wanted his daughter back so he wasn't about to let his daughter get away again. He wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.

    Jadie was far from the Dragon's Den now and was growing tired from all the running she had done. Up ahead she saw a river, she looked back and noticed her dad was gaining up to her. She stopped in front of the river and hesitated. Her dad was now really close behind her. Here goes nothing she thought. She took a deep breath and dove in. She quickly regretted that decision. The water was freezing cold and moving at a very fast pace so she was thrust underwater.

    "JADIE!" he dad screamed terrified that his daughter was hurt.

    She managed to pull herself to the surface. "DADDY HELP ME!" she screamed. She then gasped in horror at what she had just said. The water shoved her under and Jadie grew weaker.

    "JADIE I'M GETTING HELP! I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!" Conner yelled to his daughter as he took off to the pokemon center. He ran through the doors and up to the main table; shoving past a few trainers already in line to heal their pokemon. "Joy I need help, my daughter fell in the river and I can't get her out!" he explained.

    "Ok, I'll call for help right away!" she answered while picking up her phone.

    Meanwhile, the river was pulling Jadie closer and closer to the waterfall. She could barley breathe let alone get a pokeball from her belt to help her out. She reached the end of the river and felt herself being thrown off the river edge. She was heading downward towards the sharp rocks at the bottom at a very fast pace.

    "HELP!" she screamed before she shut her eyes in fear thinking that this was the end.

    She heard a noise from the side of her then below her. Then suddenly she hit something hard. She groaned and opened her eyes and noticed she was on a skarmory's back and a guy sat in front of her. He turned around and said, "Hey Jadie! That really was a close one huh?" He asked worried.

    "Dulton?" She asked surprised.

    "Yep, so you're not hurt are you?" he asked. "No, I'm not hurt. How do you know my name?" she asked confused.

    "Your dad told me when I saw him at the pokemon center. I guess I was right about you being the missing girl." He explained to a still very confused looking Jadie.

    "WHAT! WHAT DID YOU TALK TO MY DAD FOR? BETTER YET, WHY DID YOU TELL HIM WHERE I WAS AT?" she yelled.

    "Because at the pokemon center he said he wanted to find you and he looked really sad while he looked at your picture so I figured I should tell him where to find you." Dulton said defending himself. "Skarmory lets land here!" Dulton told his pokemon. Skarmory nodded its head and obeyed its trainer. Jadie and Dulton got off and sat down. The cold air blew against Jadie's wet clothes which made her shiver

    "Here use this" Dulton said handing over his jacket for Jadie to wear. "Thanks..." she whispered as she put on the jacket.

    'Hey Jadie, I was um... well wondering If I could have a rematch with you since you're so strong." He asked awkwardly.

    "Tomorrow, I'm to tired to right now." She answered while pulling out her journal from her waterproof bag. "Oh, ok!" he said. He then got himself situated against a rock and fell asleep. Jadie began to write.

    Dear Diary,
    It was a hectic night! First I battle this guy named Dulton who followed me back to the Dragons Den without me knowing so he could talk to me! That's when he got to see what I looked like. Unfortunately he wasn't the only person who saw my face tonight, my dad did too! Dulton saw him looking at my poster so he told him where to find me. That jerk had no right to tell my dad where I was without my permission! Actually I can't really call him a jerk. He saved my life when I was falling down the waterfall (freakishly enough he was following me again!) I am very thankful he did though, who knows what could have happened to me if he didn't get me.
    Right now Dulton and I are in the middle of nowhere. Were still in Blackthorn but a deserted part of it. There's nothing but a big plain of grass with a few rocks near a corner that Dulton and I are laying against. He asked to battle me again but I still have to heal my pokemon from my last battle with him. Poor Ursaring and Houndoom are still tired out from before.
    Weird enough the next time we battle might be in the morning, I'll also have to deal with my dad and the help he went to get. It's going to be a long day tomorrow. Also, the first time I've walked around in daylight in five years.
    Sincerely,
    The Invisible Trainer

    She put the diary away, looked up at the sky then lies back against the rock and fell asleep. The sun then began to rise on the city of Blackthorn.
    __________________
     

    Yu Kanda

    End of Innocence
    385
    Posts
    18
    Years
  • Another gerat chapter(not just sayin that cuz you'e my sister lol) anyway keep it up!!
     

    Margot

    some things are that simple
    3,661
    Posts
    18
    Years
    • they/he
    • Seen Apr 16, 2022
    Thank you :) Next chapter will be up later maybe...
     

    Margot

    some things are that simple
    3,661
    Posts
    18
    Years
    • they/he
    • Seen Apr 16, 2022
    Well like I said I'd have the next chapter up later so here it is tell me what you think and enjoy :D


    "Jadie you made the news!" Dulton said thrusting the newspaper in her face.

    "Can you keep that there? The suns hurting my eyes." Jadie complained.

    It had been a couple of days since Jadie saw her father. She tried staying out in the daylight the first day but that only burned her eyes so she ran inside a near cave. Today Dulton made her come out again in the morning so she sat in the shade. Dulton had just come back from flying on his Skarmory to heal his and Jadie's pokemon in Blackthorn.

    "Don't you want to know what the paper says?" Dulton asked really eager to read the paper to her.

    "Not really, I don't care what the paper says as long as no one finds me" she explained. She glanced up at Dulton who was re-reading what the paper said with an unsure look on his face. Jadie took a deep breath.

    "How much money did my dad offer to everyone to find me?" She asked releasing her breath. She really didn't want to hear the answer.

    "A whooping five grand!" he answered while still looking over the paper.

    "Let me see that!" Jadie said as she swiped the paper out of Dulton's hands. "Oh great…" she muttered.

    "So… are we ever going to battle I've been asking you for a while now and not to mention I saved your life, so really it's the least you can do!" Dulton whined.

    "Do you have a hat I can borrow?" Jadie asked from her shaded corner.

    "No" Dulton replied

    "Then no deal"

    "WHAT?" he yelled dumbfounded. "Jadie this is driving me crazy I WANT A BATTLE NOW!" Dulton yelled getting to his feet.

    "Listen, I can't concentrate during daylight my eyes really hurt and if it's a real battle you're looking for wait until tonight understand?" She explained

    "Understood" Dulton said sitting back down.

    "I'm starving how about you?" Dulton asked.

    "I'm a little hungry" Jadie said putting her head down on her knees for even more shade.

    "Cool! I'll go pick some food up in Blackthorn" Dulton said getting up.

    "Why didn't you just pick some up while you were healing our pokemon earlier which by the way I need back." Jadie told Dulton.

    'Well I wasn't hungry then and here…" Dulton said getting Jadie's pokemon out of his backpack.

    "Thanks" Jadie said putting them back on her belt.

    "Skarmory were off to Blackthorn again" Dulton said while releasing his pokemon.

    Skarmory got out and threw its head back in relief of being outside again. Dulton got on to the pokemon and flew off.

    Jadie stayed in her shaded corner for a while when she decided to look up at the sky. She winced in pain from the brightness. Jadie actually missed the blue sky and the warm bright sun. Suddenly all the memories of her and her brother and her and her nidoran playing outside together happily rushed back to her. Looking at the sky hurt her both physically and emotionally. She felt tears welling up in her eyes but then a noise from the field not to far away from her snapped her back to reality.

    What was that? It's probably just a pokemon nothing to worry about she thought to herself.

    Just then an even louder rustle came from inside the field that made Jadie jump to her feet. I'll go see what it is to calm myself down she thought as she entered the field.

    "Hello?" She asked hoping that a cute, little and harmless pokemon would jump out.

    She was grateful that the tall weeds and cattails shaded the area for her. She walked deeper and deeper into the field where she heard the noise once again but this time it was coming from right in front of her. She went to step back but it was too late, some guy wearing a red and black uniform grabbed Jadie by the arm and started dragging her.

    "HEY STOP IT, LET ME GO!" she yelled. "DULTON!" She screamed hoping by some form of chance that he made it back and heard her.

    "Shut up girl!" the guy said. He put his hand over her mouth to stop her from screaming.

    Jadie shook as hard as she could to get away but she only wore herself out. Since all of this was happening so fast and at once, it all caught up with her and Jadie passed out.

    Dear Diary,
    I don't know where I am right now or how I got here for that matter. What happened to me before hand is such a blur. I remember weeds, grass and some guy in a red and black uniform dragging me through the field. I'm also in a weird place right now. It's like a storage room; in here is a light bulb above me and a computer but that's it. I really don't know why anyone would take me; I mean I'm pretty sure no one knows who I am. I hope Dulton finds me because I don't want him to think I just left him. Plus he's the only real friend I've had in a long time. Anyway I'll write more when I find out where I am and exactly who took me.
    Sincerely,
    The Invisible Trainer
    (Although I don't know why I still call myself this figuring three people have seen my while I was conscious so who knows how many people saw me while I was unconscious!!)

    Dulton finally arrived at the spot where he and Jadie had been staying.

    "Jadie? Where are you-I got our food want some?" he asked. "JADIE?" he yelled. He dropped the bags of food and began looking around for her. He entered the field and began searching there hoping that's where she was. Just as he got deeper into the field he stepped on something so he looked down and picked it up. It was a patch with a symbol on it. Dulton put the patch in his pocket and narrowed his eyes. "I have a feeling I know where Jadie is and I know exactly who's behind this." He said as he began to exit the field.

    Meanwhile…..

    Saturday, September 6th
    Daily News

    The missing girl who mysteriously went missing five years ago went re-missing. Jadie Frost was found yesterday by her father, Conner Frost who quotes "I've missed my daughter like crazy and I was upset that our reunion was cut short by a terrible accident." What a terrible accident it was, the now fifteen year-old girl fell into a river not to far outside of Blackthorn yesterday and hasn't been found since. The rescue squad stopped searching for her yesterday when they couldn't locate her body near the river or the waterfall. Her father is willing to pay five thousand dollars to whoever graciously finds his daughter and returns her to the Blackthorn Pokemon center. She is said to have long black hair and is wearing black clothes. She was last seen by a kid named Dulton Frey outside of Blackthorn according to her father. Thank you for your time and best wishes to Jadie Frost. (On page 2 next to the sports section is a picture of her when she first went missing, she looks almost the exact same but older).

    A man snickered and put the news paper down. Then he heard a knock at his door.

    "Come in" he said.

    "Maxie, we did it! We were able to locate Jadie Frost for you; she is in the storage closet on the third level." The guy said.

    "Excellent work my boy, that means Team Magma is one step closer to achieving our goal," he said with an evil smile growing on his face.
     

    Margot

    some things are that simple
    3,661
    Posts
    18
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    • they/he
    • Seen Apr 16, 2022
    Am I still allowed to continue posting chapters because it has been a while since I got one up OO anyway......

    OK, This chapter is going to have three parts to it because I figured it would be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to long of a chapter all together!!! Well I hope you like it and tell me what you think THANX!!!!!

    PART ONE

    "Did you move Jadie to the basement?" A bulky guy asked.

    "Yep, knocked her out with sleeping pills last night with her dinner- she's real stubborn you know Craig." The other guy complained.

    "Well that doesn't matter now; we got the girl and once she settles down we can ask her about you-know-who" Craig said while logging on to his computer.

    "I don't know, she probably won't answer us and by the way wouldn't it have been easier to just have taken D-"

    "Listen to me Kevin, Maxie wanted to take no chances with him. Remember last time we confronted him he took of to Johto so who knows where he'd run off to this time." Craig cut in.

    "Well Kanto makes the most sense but then again that's just what I think." Kevin said which he'd later regret.

    "You know what- I've had enough of your attitude! So get out of my office and go down to the basement and keep an eye on that girl! Do you think you could do that?" Craig yelled.

    "Well, I don't know……I mean staring at someone does seem rather impossible" Kevin remarked sarcastically.

    "GO!" The man yelled tipping his chair back from getting up to fast and hard.

    Kevin exited Craig's office and shut the door behind him. Craig sat back down at his desk and looked at his computer. On it was a map of three locations: Hoenn, Johto and Kanto. A blinking red dot was on the Hoenn map so Craig clicked on that map so it filled the whole screen. All the towns from Little Root to Ever Grande showed up and the red dot was blinking faster and faster and was also more visible. The guy clicked on it and realized the dot was only five miles away from the Magma Headquarters.

    "Looks like taken' the girl wasn't such a big mistake after all." Craig said smiling.

    Kevin stood in front of the basement door panting. "There's ten floors and not one freakin' elevator, what's wrong with this place?!" He yelled, and then looked around him to make sure no one heard his little outburst. He opened the door and walked in, he then looked down the long flight of stairs. Oh great more stairs! He thought. When he got to the bottom he saw Jadie sitting on the floor and playing with her hair.

    "So………..How are you?" he asked

    No response from Jadie.

    "Um………..-"

    "How did I get down here?" Jadie but in

    "I didn't knock you out with sleeping pills if that's what you're thinking." Kevin said sarcastically.

    "Is that also how you managed to take my pokemon without me knowing?" She added.

    "Well obviously!" Kevin said back.

    There was then a really long awkward silence came between the two. Jadie looked around and Kevin cracked his knuckles.

    "Tell me why I'm here!" Jadie finally said.

    "What?" Kevin asked startled by her sudden question and a bit mad since he wanted to break the silence.

    "I mean why did you take me? What did you want me for?" she asked.

    "Quit flattering yourself, it's not you that we want." Kevin responded.

    "What do you mean?" She asked confused by his remark.

    "I mean you have connections to the person we want. I've been spying on you for a few days now, so I know that you know the person were looking for." Kevin answered.

    "Huh?" Jadie asked still not quite comprehending what Kevin was saying.

    "Let it sink in, you should know who were talking about. I'll be back; I have to go get lunch." Kevin said heading up the stairs. Jadie waited until she heard the door shut to get her diary out. Something thankfully Kevin didn't take along with her pokemon.


    Dear Diary,
    I now know who took me, Team Magma did and I still wouldn't have known that if they didn't paint their name all over the basement walls. Kevin is the name of the guy that took me back in blackthorn and he also took my pokemon from me after slipping me sleeping pills!! Weirdly enough he said it wasn't me they wanted. This confuses me for two reasons. One is because WHO DO I HAVE CONNECTIONS TOO? Then secondly EVEN IF I DID HAVE CONNECTIONS TO ANYONE WHYDIDN'T THEY JUST TAKE THAT PERSON???? Kevin also said he has been spying on me for a few days now and the only person I was with in the last few days was…………..Dulton. Wait a minute…… I HAVE CONNECTIONS WITH HIM!!!! But what do they want Dulton for? Well I guess I better find out now!

    Sincerely,
    Jadie…….I mean,

    The Invisible Trainer
    Meanwhile……………………………


    Dulton stood in front of the Magma headquarters with a mad expression on his face.


    The red dot on the computer map was going ballistic now. Craig leaned back in his chair and laughed.

    "Welcome home Dulton" He said.
     

    Lucario_zXc

    Mr.Mime in LaLa WoRlD
    7
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    18
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  • xXFallenXx said:
    Hm... several run on sentences and there were a lot of parts where you needed commas. But it's pretty decent.

    ;o; The poor female Nidoran...


    Yeah, she made a good point but its still good though XD
     

    Margot

    some things are that simple
    3,661
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    18
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    • they/he
    • Seen Apr 16, 2022
    Thank you...and yes I'm not the best with grammer, I should have the next chpater up by tommorow or today, either way thanks for the rerview^^
     
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