View Full Version : I need your help!/Kono

lil' Chu
May 8th, 2006, 1:44 PM
Hi, I'm gonna make a fanfic, and I'd like it to be for the people, by the people.Confused?Well, how would you guys like to help make the images for the pokemon in here?You can make how the pokemon look, and stuff, while I make the story with them!(If you'd like, you can make the people but I don't need their pictures.)So, what do you say?

It's going to be about three trainers in the new reigion of pokemon called Kono, with pokemon that are only available from there.(As in, no pokemon from other reigions live there.)The story will hopefully start in one week from today, or so.

Wishlist for this week:Three starters, another weak pokemon.

lil' Chu
May 9th, 2006, 1:51 PM
If you can't put on a picture, just put on a descripion of the pokemons' features..

JX Valentine
May 9th, 2006, 5:18 PM
One question: ...Why?

I mean, shouldn't writing be all about the writer's own creativity? Maybe it's just me, but I've found the entire "create a character/Pokemon" sort of scene a little cheap. Sure, it's nifty group participation, but to write an entire fanfiction revolving around that concept usually comes up as uncreative and bland. (I say "usually" because I've only seen it pulled off once... and even then, it was a parody.) If you want to write a fanfiction for the people, by the people, try writing it as one of the people -- as in, with us partly in mind. Try chucking off the shackles of readers' submissions and just try to tell a good story.

You know, if that makes sense.

Also, I'd hate to tell you this, but I'm not sure about the plot that you've revealed. It may turn out to be cliche, but it all depends on how you handle it. *shrug*

lil' Chu
May 10th, 2006, 2:41 PM
Well, I'll make pokemon, too.Ya thought that I wouldn't make one?I have one already.
Name:Hiwood(As in hi which I think means fire in Japaneese, and wood.)
Abilty:Wood Burn:When Hinotamood uses a fire type attack, Hiwood loses 1 hp to add 5 extra damage to opponent.
Description:Hiwood is a pokemon made out of wood that has a head made out of fire.It has a double weakness to water, and it cannot stand going into any body of water.
How's that?(Sorry, I can't put on a picture of him.)

JX Valentine
May 10th, 2006, 3:05 PM
Well, I'll make pokemon, too.Ya thought that I wouldn't make one?

Actually, I wasn't really referring to so much as "you're not going to make any characters yourself" as I was "you're going to rely on everyone else to make at least a majority of your world." It's the latter I'm saying isn't a good idea.

Basically, the writer of a "submit your own Pokemon/trainer" fanfiction might make a few characters/Pokemon themselves, but then they usually start to lull and allow their readers to form every other characters/places/Pokemon.

Incidentally, the word "hinotama" can be broken up into "hi" ("fire"), no (a possessive word), and "tama" (either "bullet" or "egg"). In other words, if my sources are correct, it literally means "egg of fire" or "bullet of fire."

lil' Chu
May 11th, 2006, 11:43 AM
thank you, I now understand what you mean.Thanks for the explanation of the word, and I now know what you were talking about, but I only needed help because I couldn't think up of many pokemon by myself.That's why I asked for everybodys help.I am exellent with making fan fictions, it's just that I leave out too many details and aren't creative enough, that's what others tell me on other sites.(I really don't want to even know about those sites anymore, bad experiences from those sites.)I'm just never good at making stories unless I get help from somebody.

Latias,the happy
May 12th, 2006, 2:10 PM
I have a weak pokemon!
Description:A squirrel with large hind legs and a claw on each hand for climbing up trees.

lil' Chu
May 17th, 2006, 2:23 PM
I'll make the first chapter on Friday.

May 17th, 2006, 10:56 PM
Here is a suggestion for a water starter pokemon:
Name: Wallyplat (you can change the name if you want to)
Description: A pokemon that looks like a blue platypus. Agile swimmer, strong enough to move around boulders and a really good sense of direction and smell. Is usually found near waterfalls.

lil' Chu
May 19th, 2006, 2:05 PM
I'm gonna start out with an intro, because I still need the grass starter.Hope you like it.

Chapter 0:Friends

Five years ago, a five year old boy and his mother, Rosen, were traveling to Kono to live.They had been on the S.S. Anne, an airplane, and they were now in a taxi, nearly to thier new home.(They had been traveling light, they wanted to make a 'fresh start'.)
"Mommy, I'm scared."the boy told Rosen."There are going to be too many new pokemon, I won't know anyone, and I might not make any friends."
"Don't worry, Ben.It'll be all right."Rosen assured Ben.In Vermillion city, no one would be his friend.They all said that he was too little to play with them(He was a little short for his age.).In fact, all of them were just jerks."Besides, there's a research laborotory in the new town!"
"Really?!"Ben was really interested in science.
"Yep!"The taxi slowed to a stop.
"Here we are, Cantell town."The driver explained."If ya ever need a taxi, just call this number."The driver handed Rosen a business card."Tell them ya need Bernie."
"Thank you, we'll keep it."Rosen said.
A few minutes later, after they took out the luggage and Bernie drove away, Rosen said,"Ben, why dont you explore a bit?"
"Really mom?Thanks!"Ben said happily.
"I'll call you back in exactly one hour."Rosen warned.Now, Rosen was very percise.She would call him in EXACTLY one hour.
Ben ran off to find a nice place to relaxe.He may of been small, but he was very fast.Soon enough, Ben found a playground.He naturally ran to the swings, since every body else were always filling up everything else at the old playground in Vermillion.Then, suddenly, a vioce came up and said, "Hello.Who're you?I've never seen you here before."
Ben was instantly smitten the moment he looked up at the girl.Vice-versa for the girl.
"My name is Sara."
"Uh, I'm Ben."
"Nice to meet you, Ben.You're not from around here, are you?"Sara asked.
"I just moved here from Vermillion city."Ben told her.
"Oh, the new kid in town,are ya?It must be sad to leave all of your friends, huh?"Sara said.
"I've never had any friends.I've always been 'too small'."Ben said, standing up.
"Oh, don't worry.I bet that you have some redeeming qualities, though."
"Well, I run fast."
"There you go!Wanna go meet my mom at the pokemon lab?"The word lab got Ben sprinting.
5 minutes later......
"I can't belive you beat me!"Sara complained.
"Well, I warned you."
A scientist walked up and said,"Well hello, Sara.How are you today, and who's your new friend?"
"Hi there, Marty.I'm fine, and this is Ben.He just moved here today."Sar replied.
"Hello there, Ben.I'm Marty, and in the Cantell town laborotory, I'm the scientist that is studing dark type pokemon.Nice to meet you."
"Hello there Marty.Can you take us to Sara's mommy?"Ben asked politely.
"Well of course, Ben.Follow me you two."
They followed Marty to the back of the lab, where a woman with light blue hair, a lab coat and a computer infront of her that she was typing on.
"Excuse me, Vannessa.Some visitors have come to see you."Marty said.
The woman turned around."Hi Sara!Who's your new friend?"she said.
"My name is Ben."
"Hello, Ben!I'm Sara's mom, Professor Willow.I'm the head of th laborotory.How are you today?"
"I'm very happy, miss Willow.Today, I've made my first friend."
"Sara, I guess this is your first friend, too.Well, I hope that you like your stay here in Kono.I'm sorry, but I'm very busy today.I'll see you another day, If that sounds good."
"Thank you, miss Willow."
2 minutes later.........
"Wow, I can't belive that your mom is a professor!"Ben said exitedly.
"Well, why don't I meet your mom now?"Sara asked.

"Welcome back, Ben.You are 6 minutes and 25 seconds early.Who's this?"(I told you that she was percise.)
"This is my friend, Sara."Ben exitedly said.
"Hello, Bens' mom."
"Just call me miss Rosen."Rosen replied.At last he's got a friend,Rosen thought.

That day Ben found his first friend, but five years later, he would get his first enemy.

So how would you rate this chapter on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest?

May 19th, 2006, 2:15 PM
hey, nice start and looking good,it could do with a bit more description though. 8/10 the very least.

Krafty Quill
May 19th, 2006, 2:29 PM
Yeah, I agree. A little more descritption and may I suggest you start a new paragraph when there's another speaker. It will make it both easier and clearer to read than one huge block of text.

Good Attempt! Keep it up!!

lil' Chu
May 29th, 2006, 1:25 PM
Okay, Krafty Quil, whenever I skipped to the next line, I started a new paragraph.

Special(Informational)Chapter One:Team Black, and Team White, and the objective
In Kono, two leagues of villans has arisen; Teams Black and White.Led by Theo Georges,(Black)and Samantha Yearling(White).One day when they were kids, they found a hidden cave where there was a giant egg in the center room.They argued about who found it first, though they both saw it at the same time.That put them into a fierce rivalry, and they knew what it was.It was a special egg from many centuries ago, a strong pokemon had once come from that egg, called Powaton, the only known pokemon that was the same type as the move curse.The two kids rivaled eachother as they grew up.They finally established two crime teams that had to do with dark and light type(more on this later)pokemon.They want to both get rid of the other, and use the eggs's power to take over the world.These two will become big enemies to the heroes of the story.
In Kono, they have discovered light type pokemon.I will now describe the strengths and weaknesess of the new type.
Weak against:Fire, electric, fighting
Strong against:Normal, ground, ghost
No effect to: Dark
No effect from: Dark(kind of like normal on ghost, or vice-versa)
(P.S:Whenever I do an informational chapter, there will be a normal one the next day.)

May 29th, 2006, 4:51 PM
What Mr. Krafty Quill means is that to enter an extra line between paragraphs, so instead of...

<paragraph 1>
<paragraph 2>

It would be...

<paragraph 1>

<paragraph 2>

It is much easier to read like so. A huge block of texts will not only annoy Mr. Krafty Quill, but Naminé and anyone else who tries to read the story. Always, try to add in much more detail, especially for characters and setting. Describe what everything looks like. If Mr. Lil'chu has a mental image of what he is trying to write in his mind as this seems like it is a personal "anime" put into words, then by all means, write out what he sees as much as possible. This is a story and no anime, so dialogues will not be enough. Always add in what the surrounding looks like, and what each character is doing.

Beware of grammaticaly mistake as well. Brackets are meant to be used sparingly, and cannot be relied on as a dependable way to communicate. There are many guides for writing here in PC, so why not see a few of them in Mr. Lil'chu's spare time if he is determined to improve in his writing ability?

lil' Chu
June 2nd, 2006, 3:52 PM
Okay, thank you Namin'e for the explanation.Sorry everybody that I was too busy to post the past few days.

Chapter One: Destiny and Dream, Part One

Almost five years later, the day had come for Ben to finally become old enough to become a pokemon trainer.Oh, how long he had waited for this day!Today's the day!Ben yelled in his mind.He sprinted downstairs.

"Good morning, mom!"He happily greeted Rosen.

"Oh, just twelve minutes, five seconds till you become ten!This is so exiting!"Rosen replied, grabbing Ben in her arms for a few seconds.

"Mom, why can't you just let me get my pokemon now, like a normal parent would?"Ben asked.(Rosen was still as accurate as a noctowl.)"Anyways, I'll just fix up a few pop-tarts."

2 minutes, five seconds later
Ben was just then putting his dishes into the sink and washing them.

"Ben, I think that I should let you open some of your presents now.They're on your dresser in your room.You'll be suprised!"Rosen told Ben.

"Sweet!Thanks mom!"

Ben had put his clothes on, and picked up three small packages, and ripped them open to reveal a pokedex, a pokegear, and a pokenav, just what he wanted!
"YES!"Some people walkinding outside heard.

"Thanks, mom!Just what I wanted!Wait, I didn't tell you I wanted these.How'd you know?"Ben said, happily.

"Well, sometimes a mother just knows!"Rosen replied."Oh, it's almost time!If you run over now, you can get to the lab just at the right moment!"

"Okay!"Ben bolted out the door.He had been waiting for this moment all his life.Instead of watching the big kids battle, he would BE the big kid.He already knew about his dream team of pokemon.It will just take some time to create it.So many thoughts were racing through Ben's mind, just like he was over to the lab.He was finally there.It's time for my real life to begin, Ben thought.

When he finally made it to the laborotory, it was horrible.He entered, to the fright that many researchers were knocked out cold.Machines were either broken or scorched.In the back, he saw a familiar face, hiding.

"Marty?"Ben asked.

"Oh Ben, it was horrible.A team black member came with a houndour, and destroyed the place.We had to get Professor Willow out of here, because she had some vital information that could help team black with their plan of some sort.She gave me these to hold onto."Marty handed Ben two pokeballs."Use one, not two, only one per customer."The pokeballs had either a fire sign or a leaf sign.

"Okay, Marty.I understand.He couldn't of gotten far."Ben ran out of the laborotory, with two pokemon, and one plan.He would have his first pokemon battle very soon.

I've also gotten the idea for the grass starter.
Types:Grass and poison.
Ability: Deep Rooted:Shrubb gets a few hp back each turn, double the amount of hp if it is sunny or raining.
Description:It looks like a small bush with roots for legs.It has no arms, and is related to tangela and bonsly.

So, do ya like it?(Please rate again if you want.)