Forbidden Love (13+)

Chapter 1: A New Feeling

It was a regular day when Brock saw Ash's six pack and said to him self"I did'nt like man earlier did I"?

Brock now realized that he loved Ash but a part of Brock knew that Ash did'nt love him back.

Brock had to choose from Ash and his dream of being a Pokemon Breader and Brock knew this was going to be the hardest decision he was gonna make.

But then Brock would just say i'll keep both but deep inside Brock knew he could'nt keep both.But Brock knew that Ash still had a feeling in he's heart for "Dawn" and "May".And that dissopointed Brock but that still would'nt stop Brock from he's love.

Brock thought to him self that he could impress Ash by showing off his 8 pack which he got by training with Onix day and night.
So Brock said to Ash" lets go to a near by ocean", Ash replied " yea lets go what are we waiting for"?

When they arrived there Ash quickly ran to the ocean and swan for 10 minutes doing lap's but soon quickly ran out of energy so Ash said with all his might "BROCK"! When Brock hear'd that noice Brock swam so fast to Ash and was lucky because Ash was still consious and breathing.

As Brock lifted Ash onto his back Ash said to him self that this might be a new kind of love.

To Be Continued

Hope you like it people. This is my 2nd one. My Fic is all about Comedy and drama and this one is 100% pure Romance.

Dear viewers Coment about something so you can encourage to write more?!!!!!!!

1. don't double post
2. nobody wants to read a fic about a gay guy its just wrong
3. you have three fics going at one time so don't start another

Apologies, Mr_Plow7, for going off in a rant in your thread.

Mmarzex said:

2. nobody wants to read a fic about a gay guy its just wrong

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Wrong. You're wrong. Don't say that nobody wants to read a fic about a "gay guy", because there are people out there that do read and write fics concerning same-gender couples. And yes, some of these fics are in the Pokemon fandom, as this one is. So that was just wrong of you to say that, especially in a fic that is about a same-gender couple. If you don't like it, then you don't have to read it or respond to it. That's what the back button is for. But leave those of us who like this kind of fic alone.

Oi.

Hi. Let me get down to reviewing your fic.

First of all, there's the issue of your grammar. I think that someone else posted a review in one of your other stories about your grammar problems, so I don't have to cover that.

But I can let you know about description. See, romance fics require a special sort of description. You have to get across to the reader the character's feelings of love that they feel towards another character. You also should set a mood up through description when you reach the climatic part where the two characters come together. You know how the old movies do it, neh? The music becomes all sweet and sappy, and the characters stare dreamily at one another. Try to convey that through your writing. "He stared at the boy in front of him, taking in the tanned skin that was still soft to the touch even after years of traveling. Ash's deep chocolate eyes blinked up at his confused and pained face." See, that's a little bit of what I'm talking about.

Also, with description, you should talk about the feelings of the characters. Like, how does Brock feel when he sees Ash in trouble? "Brock whipped his head in the direction of Ash's voice. He searched in vain for the other boy's head. Spotting a dark spot on the ocean's surface, Brock didn't hesitate. He ran into the water. With each stroke that he took towards Ash, he prayed that he would get there in time."

Okay, that's what you need to work on. Grammar and description. Also try to keep the characters acting the way that they do in the show. Like mention how Brock was only flirting with all those beautiful girls to cover up his true feelings, or something of the sort.

Thanks for defending me Hanako and if any one who read this and enjoyed it plz tell me so i can write more.

Chapter 2 : Something Isn't Right.

Brock cried as he tried to swim across shore but he kept thinking of life with out the sweet eyes of Ash and the deep blue kind heart which lies inside of Ash.As Brock made it across shore Ash was unconsious so Brock had to do something that he has always wanted to do.Give C.P.R to Ash.But the question was,-was this going to interfiere with thier friend ship and will Brock finally give up on girls and set a journey for boys like Ash? This would count as all. Brock knew Ash was going to die so Brock closed his eye, plugged Ash's nose and breathed in air. Ash was consious now but something about Ash was'nt right.

Ash would act like he would usally say like " Im hungry lets go, and Brock your paying"!
Brock would now cry even more and say "Im sorry, I love you Ash please come back".
"Please".

Dear viewer's this was a little short but please handle it becuase next chapter will be alot longer.

To Be Continued.