In the end I've come to realize that being gay is part of who I am, and despite the societal issues that sometimes come along with it I wouldn't change, no more than I would change any other aspect of my personality.
I've gone through similar stages of anger/annoyance/etc. at people who think homosexuality is a choice. I've had to explain to people that although it's a choice to embrace it (as opposed to denying my feelings and going through life "acting" straight) and accept it, the underlying feelings are certainly not something I can control. I think it's easier for them to accept it that way, and the argument of "well you could just go out with a girl! of course it's a choice to go and have sex with another man! blahblahblah" is less valid that way.
idk, I guess I've gotten to a point now where I don't mind if someone thinks I'm choosing a "lifestyle" for myself that I have total control over. Some of my closest friends think that, and I guess it's easy to forget (not only for them, but for me as well) that we have such differing views on the matter. It's similar to disagreeing about politics, or religion, or any other issue like that to me. Sometimes there are things we just don't discuss, we accept that we disagree with one another and move on.
To me, a true friend is someone who can accept your difference in opinion and not let it degrade their respect for you. I've lost out on getting to know a lot of people because they're so unaccepting of my sexuality, and a lot of times I truly regret that, but again in the end I think that it's less of an impact because I see they lack certain qualities I look for in friends. In this case, setting aside differences and looking at the whole person as opposed to just one little part.
In general being gay has kinda gone in a process for me somewhat like
Oh my god ew, it's a phase, it'll go away
to
Okay maybe I like guys a little, maybe I'm bi
to
I like guys more, but I still like girls...
to
I like guys but I'm NOT going to call myself "gay", gross
to
Maybe I really AM gay
And then from there, it kinda went from becoming the most important part of my personality (to me, not to other people) to becoming a lesser part of a whole, and then eventually and finally to something I don't even think about anymore. I don't get offended when people use the word "gay" interchangably with "stupid", "annoying", or anything else negative or whatever. I don't get offended when people say "fag" (or even call me a fag), I don't get offended when people say marriage should be between a man and a woman only, or anything else similar.
Unfortunately that's caused some trouble with gay friends a few times, who think I'm "ashamed" to be gay or some such bullcrap. That isn't true at all, I'm not ashamed, I just think the whole thing gets way too much attention from everyone. Homophobes and homosexuals alike give way too much time, effort, attention, etc. into the whole damn thing, so I just kinda refuse to do it. I don't argue about sexuality anymore, I don't try to convince people to accept me, I don't let myself get offended by people who don't want to be my friend, etc.
Life is too short, youth too fleeting to let yourself wish you were a different kind of person. Eventually I hope you accept yourself fully for who you are, even if it isn't for the same reasons or ways that I have (and I wouldn't expect it to be.)
idk, I rambled, lol. >_<