*throws a pie at everone* >:o

To be honest I don't know why I'm posting this here. I guess I'm just…idk scared? FEEL FREE TO IGNORE ME \o/

My knees are crap. I mean anyone who knows me knows my knees are crap. This started in highschool but I got the run around + cortisone shots x 4 [which are not fun. At all. It's a giant arse needle they shove under your knee filled with goop which they then inject. It's hell. <<;] + three years of physical therapy.

I had to stop dancing, I had to stop twirling baton which I'd been doing for twelve years and eventually I had to give up on joining show choir [but hey, techs are pretty awesome even if they're not in Glee ] and I had to play in Pit instead of marching in marching band. It's killed my ability to hike, canoe, kayak and other outdoorsy things. Heck, I can barely swim now because it locks up or just seizes up which is dangerous as crap in deep water.

I can't work with kids anymore which I've been doing for 9 years.

It's kept me from university too, between medical costs and inability to walk to classes, and I spend a good portion of my life in bed or on a couch. [My legs out straight infront of me is the only reasonable level of comfort I get.]

I had surgery in 2009. It had a 95% success rate. It failed. I was in the 5% fail rate. <<; Enter nearly two more years of physical therapy and cortisone shots and now i'm looking at experimental surgery this summer. I'm with the best knee doctor in the country and he's never seen a knee as bad as mine at my age. He's not sure surgery will help and it could cripple my leg. [If you've seen house, my surgeon's said if that surgery fails that's what my leg will be like.]

It's scary as hell. People get so intimidated by me that they don't tend to stick around irk so my only friends are online. I don't really mind that so much but it hurts to be constantly stared at.

I feel so bad I know people atm going through so much worse. I just can't walk right. :C /majorly lame person.

tl;dr: My knee is poopy I have surgery coming up and i am not a happy kitty.

Everyone can say "I feel bad for feeling this way, because others have it worse", but really.. you're not other people, you're you, and you shouldn't feel bad for venting your feelings. Most people would do the same thing. I know I would. :/

& I know you've heard this from me before, but I'm sorry you're going through something so tough, especially at you're age. Drew would help you if Drew couldddd. ;A; I hope your surgery goes well.

I hope your surgery goes well, and I understand that you're really scared.. I know I'd be too.. but sometimes there are choices where you have to take risks and I think no matter what you do, you'll make the right decisions. Your knees don't stop you from being a wonderful and smart girl, so remember that. Don't belittle yourself! I'm glad to see that you've vented some feelings though cause hopefully that has made you feel a bit better about the situation.

I'm sorry for the hardships you've been going through, and I wish I could change it for you- it stinks that such a great person could have such unfortunate things happen, but I know you're a really strong willed person and I know you can deal with whatever life throws at you.

You're in my thoughts, though.. and I do hope that this time around, life hands you a serving of good luck. <3