Handwriting

Yes. It comes from understanding how pointless and meaningless my life is. I deal with it by having an indiscriminating hatred towards all things.

I hate everything. I hate everyone and wish nothing but the worst for everyone and their terrible lives. There is no life more terrible than my own, but at the same time, I believe that all of our lives' are similar, and yours is terrible, too. Nothing has been taken away from me because I had nothing all along. I am alone. You are alone. The moments where we believe that we 'understand' one another and have something special are lies. The excitement and stimulation that we share is the unhealthy euphoria of the human experience that our entire civilization is built upon. Every connection I've ever had with anyone has been a mutually-agreed-upon lie, until we broke the mutual agreement, and entered into a nuclear war where we took out our own anger at ourselves or one another. We never had any hope. I do not believe that there is any beauty in the world, and any one who creates anything that tries to inspire people to feel otherwise is an ugly, filthy liar. Said artist is probably living in a dreamworld, spreading dreamworld propoganda to the masses. I am not depressed. I am coming to terms with reality. I hate everything. Culture. Music. Technology The Internet. Film. TV. My friends. My family. All of the things I own. The things I am wearing. The things that I once believed made 'me.' The dreams that I once had that I thought would fulfill me. I am just trapped 'doing crap all', and 'talking about that bullcrap' and it doesn't even matter. For many years, I have only cared about myself. Every time I have empathized with any one else, or shared a special moment, I was actually having an inwardly vulnerable moment where I was just fighting against loneliness and isolation. I hate everything. I truly believe that there is nothing left for me to accomplish in this world. I believe that even if I accomplished anything, it wouldn't matter. There is no amount of money, critical acclaim, or abstract buzz that could make me feel like I had done something meaningful. Any one who has ever felt 'proud' of something that they have done is a simpleton, searching for praise from people with distorted values. I hate everything, and I have given up on the pyramid scheme known as 'the human spirit.' There is nothing left for me in this world. I hate everything and everyone and the world will never be a better place and there is nothing that I could/should/would of done to make it a better place or even obsess over making other people happy just to make myself happy.

**** you all.

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