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- Seen May 19, 2023
Our pastor at Broadway, Edgar Tanner, has been speaking about the traditional Advent things: Hope, Love, Joy, and Peace. But he's been expounding on what you might call the 'mature' or more complex versions of these. Namely: expectation, engagement, enthusiasm, and enjoyment. His most recent sermon - on peace - has proved especially poignant at this time in my life.
He's made a strong case that each of these things are closely correlated and indeed inseparable from their polar opposites. The expectation of presents under the tree, for example, arises with great distress from knowing that something wonderful is waiting just outside your reach. In the same way, peace arises with suffering.
In order to embody peace within our community, we must also acknowledge and embody the suffering within our community, rather than simply maintaining a 'shallow contentment' (my words). Without an awareness of and action upon the troubles we experience, peace is like a facade and an image. Without knowing deeply the sorrow a person is experiencing, saying 'it's okay' may be comforting, but it won't have much power to transform and inspire real growth.
Last night - a night from which I have not yet slept - I had the biggest fight of my life with a close family member upon whom I rely. Emotions have not quite settled. We've decided to think about things for a couple days, and talk when we are both more calm and less intoxicated. Even so, I feel more deeply connected and somehow more secure than in previous weeks.
It's strange. I feel more grown-up; I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. Yet there is a sense of calm which coexists with the sorrow. I'm not sure how to proceed. I feel like everything will be okay, but it will not be picture-perfect and easy.
I'm not sure how to end this post, either. I'm glad though, that I have people with whom I can disagree and even fight, and still call my friends at the end of it all. I'd much rather just run away and forget it all. But I know that I am growing - little by little - in choosing to see things through.
He's made a strong case that each of these things are closely correlated and indeed inseparable from their polar opposites. The expectation of presents under the tree, for example, arises with great distress from knowing that something wonderful is waiting just outside your reach. In the same way, peace arises with suffering.
In order to embody peace within our community, we must also acknowledge and embody the suffering within our community, rather than simply maintaining a 'shallow contentment' (my words). Without an awareness of and action upon the troubles we experience, peace is like a facade and an image. Without knowing deeply the sorrow a person is experiencing, saying 'it's okay' may be comforting, but it won't have much power to transform and inspire real growth.
Last night - a night from which I have not yet slept - I had the biggest fight of my life with a close family member upon whom I rely. Emotions have not quite settled. We've decided to think about things for a couple days, and talk when we are both more calm and less intoxicated. Even so, I feel more deeply connected and somehow more secure than in previous weeks.
It's strange. I feel more grown-up; I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. Yet there is a sense of calm which coexists with the sorrow. I'm not sure how to proceed. I feel like everything will be okay, but it will not be picture-perfect and easy.
I'm not sure how to end this post, either. I'm glad though, that I have people with whom I can disagree and even fight, and still call my friends at the end of it all. I'd much rather just run away and forget it all. But I know that I am growing - little by little - in choosing to see things through.