Anxiety.
Walking on sunshine.
- 1,670
- Posts
- 16
- Years
- Birmingham, England.
- Seen Feb 5, 2011
I'm done caring. I'm done wanting approval. I just don't care anymore. No matter what I do, I'll never get it.
I've never been this angry, not for a long time. I keep trying to please people, I don't want to be hated. But no matter how hard I try, everyone hates me anyway.
It isn't nice finding out that everyone you care about, and want to like you, have been *****ing about you. They are telling me I'm kissing up to someone, I'll call S for now. I'm not, I'm nice to S all the time yes, but that's cause S is the only person I know who doesn't treat me like a slave, or is a prick to me.
I was told a friend (K) was angry at me for going downstairs to hang out with my sister (C) and S. I talked to her, she wasn't. But her brother and C had apparently been saying stuff about me behind my back, and lots of people agree apparently. Well, they can get stuffed.
I don't know who to trust anymore. My own Sister *****ed about me. If you read my last entry, you'll see that I was already paranoid that that was happening. It was. Now I can't trust anyone. I'm only talking to K and S because they're the only ones who would tell me to my face what they think about me.
It annoys me that they wouldn't say it to my face. How am I supposed to be a better person if they wont help me?!
I just had yet another emotional breakdown. I'm angry and crying. Not a good combination.
I'm not asking for sympathy. This blog is to tell you all I don't give a flying crap if you guys have a problem with me. But for gods sake, tell me if you do. I'd rather have loads of people openly hate me than having them all hate me behind my back.
So that's it. I'm done caring.
I've never been this angry, not for a long time. I keep trying to please people, I don't want to be hated. But no matter how hard I try, everyone hates me anyway.
It isn't nice finding out that everyone you care about, and want to like you, have been *****ing about you. They are telling me I'm kissing up to someone, I'll call S for now. I'm not, I'm nice to S all the time yes, but that's cause S is the only person I know who doesn't treat me like a slave, or is a prick to me.
I was told a friend (K) was angry at me for going downstairs to hang out with my sister (C) and S. I talked to her, she wasn't. But her brother and C had apparently been saying stuff about me behind my back, and lots of people agree apparently. Well, they can get stuffed.
I don't know who to trust anymore. My own Sister *****ed about me. If you read my last entry, you'll see that I was already paranoid that that was happening. It was. Now I can't trust anyone. I'm only talking to K and S because they're the only ones who would tell me to my face what they think about me.
It annoys me that they wouldn't say it to my face. How am I supposed to be a better person if they wont help me?!
I just had yet another emotional breakdown. I'm angry and crying. Not a good combination.
I'm not asking for sympathy. This blog is to tell you all I don't give a flying crap if you guys have a problem with me. But for gods sake, tell me if you do. I'd rather have loads of people openly hate me than having them all hate me behind my back.
So that's it. I'm done caring.