my feelings.

time: 8:44pm
mood:;-;
i'm emotionally exhausted. i'm tired of putting on that fake smile and pretending that everything is gonna be okay. in reality, it's not gonna be okay. i'm gonna be stuck in this house, i'm never gonna have a job to support myself, and i'm never getting off this medication. i just for once want that feeling of happiness and being worried free. why can't i ever have that feeling of being confident and knowing everything is gonna be okay. i guess i'll just hide my feelings for now and forever.

How old are you?

Arago;bt97839 said:

How old are you?

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Hey Nick, don't be so insensitive. I've seen you post problems going on in your life in your blog, so knock it off. You're better than that.

Kayla if you want to talk, you know where to find me.

Hi Kayla :) If you want to take a look at my most recent blog entry from a few weeks ago, I won't presume we're in the same situation but I do have similar feelings sometimes (well, a lot of the time).

Whilst I can't promise you that everything will get better and that things will be okay if you just survive each day it's providing an opportunity to improve. You don't have to be 100% perfect all the time, just do as much or as little as you are able to. I can be very fatalistic sometimes, always thinking that everything will be as bad as my imagination says it will be but realistically what are the chances of that happening? Even if things aren't going the way we plan try to keep going, maybe one day you will be happy. You certainly deserve to be, from the little I know about you you seem like a wonderful person!

My advice is to not shut yourself up in your house like I do, keep going outside and doing things, talk to people, even if it's just on Pokécommunity.

Don't smile if you don't want to, trying to maintain a facade that everything is perfect will just make you feel worse and worse inside... it's not shameful if we need a hug and someone to cry to once in a while. Talking to someone might help get your problems out in the open so you can tackle them easier. I don't think it's impossible for you to have a good life :)