Nolafus
Aspiring something
- 5,724
- Posts
- 11
- Years
- Lost in thought... again
- Seen Mar 4, 2018
Well, the title says it all. It's a question I've been pondering recently and I think I just might have the solution. But before we get to that, let's meet our fighters.
Chuck Norris:
Chuck Norris is perhaps the toughest human being to ever walk the face of the Earth. Countless stories and contests have been made spreading news of his, previously to be thought, impossible deeds. From choosing one lucky kid to be thrown to the sun a year, and selling pajamas with his face on it to superman, Chuck Norris is a busy man of many talents. It's a shame that after that one year at the Olympics where he won all the gold, silver, and bronze medals, they banned him for life. Don't worry, Chuck Norris is still allowed at one competition, this one! With a man as extraordinary as that, who could possibly face him?
Slenderman:
Slenderman is the beast of nightmares. Freakishly tall, almost as skinny as a super-model, and no face is what keeps people everywhere awake in their beds cuddling next to a flashlight. Not that the light will do anything, it will just let you see the (lack of) face on your demise. Slenderman is able to teleport to anywhere in the world, especially right behind you. There is one way to keep him at bay, however. If you don't look at Slenderman, he can't take you. But if you've already seen him, I'm afraid it's too late. No amount of pleading, begging, or groveling will spare you from Slender's everlasting rage.
Now you might be wondering just how I'll be able to tell who wins. Well, I'm glad you asked! Since a real fight between these two would be impossible (have you tried to catch a wild Slenderman?), we'll just have to compromise. And by compromise, I really mean turn these two into pokemon and guess who the winner will be. Now that's out of the way, let's get converting!
Since Chuck Norris is a fighter, the fighting type is quite obvious. He's also human, so a normal typing would make sense too. I can't think of anything else, so Chuck Norris is now a Fighting/Normal type pokemon. See how easy this is? The only thing left (since stats would take forever) would be to figure out Chuck Norris' special ability. Since Chuck can do all of these impossible things, you want to know what else he can do? Chuck Norris is so tough, he can hit ghost types with normal and fighting moves. That's right, Chuck Norris now has the Scrappy ability! So, Chuck Norris is now a Figting/Normal pokemon with the ability Scrappy.
Now what about Slenderman? This one is much simpler, typing wise at least. Slenderman stalks people and then takes them, never to be seen again, and he has mysterious powers. The only thing that makes sense to me is a Dark/Ghost typing. You could argue a psychic typing, but I feel like the ghost type adds to the creepy essence much more. The ability is a little trickier. Slenderman is a teleporting man on stilts that's practically impossible to hurt. Well, that narrows it down a lot, actually. I feel like the ability for Slenderman would be Wonder Guard, which means only super-effective hits would be able to hit it. So now Slenderman is a Dark/Ghost pokemon with the ability Wonder Guard.
Now we can battle!
Just going by typings and nothing else, Slenderman has the advantage with his ghost type being immune to both of Chuck Norris' STABs. However, Chuck Norris is immune to one of Slenderman's STABs and resists the other one. With Slenderman's ability to teleport and cause strange things to happen, he is bound to have a couple psychic moves up his really long sleeves. In other words, Chuck Norris is in trouble.
However, now if we include abilities, Slenderman loses his immunity to Chuck Norris' STABs thanks to Chuck's ability Scrappy. With Slenderman's dark typing, he's still immune to Chuck's normal type attacks, but now Slender is weak to fighting. Thanks to Scrappy, Chuck Norris can now abuse the STAB with some of the strongest attacks out there, and I'm afraid that's all the advantage he needs.
Although it would be pretty close, I believe Chuck Norris would win in a fight with Slenderman. With a super-effective STAB, Chuck Norris has the clear advantage, and that's all the reasoning I need.
Chuck Norris:
Chuck Norris is perhaps the toughest human being to ever walk the face of the Earth. Countless stories and contests have been made spreading news of his, previously to be thought, impossible deeds. From choosing one lucky kid to be thrown to the sun a year, and selling pajamas with his face on it to superman, Chuck Norris is a busy man of many talents. It's a shame that after that one year at the Olympics where he won all the gold, silver, and bronze medals, they banned him for life. Don't worry, Chuck Norris is still allowed at one competition, this one! With a man as extraordinary as that, who could possibly face him?
Slenderman:
Slenderman is the beast of nightmares. Freakishly tall, almost as skinny as a super-model, and no face is what keeps people everywhere awake in their beds cuddling next to a flashlight. Not that the light will do anything, it will just let you see the (lack of) face on your demise. Slenderman is able to teleport to anywhere in the world, especially right behind you. There is one way to keep him at bay, however. If you don't look at Slenderman, he can't take you. But if you've already seen him, I'm afraid it's too late. No amount of pleading, begging, or groveling will spare you from Slender's everlasting rage.
Now you might be wondering just how I'll be able to tell who wins. Well, I'm glad you asked! Since a real fight between these two would be impossible (have you tried to catch a wild Slenderman?), we'll just have to compromise. And by compromise, I really mean turn these two into pokemon and guess who the winner will be. Now that's out of the way, let's get converting!
Since Chuck Norris is a fighter, the fighting type is quite obvious. He's also human, so a normal typing would make sense too. I can't think of anything else, so Chuck Norris is now a Fighting/Normal type pokemon. See how easy this is? The only thing left (since stats would take forever) would be to figure out Chuck Norris' special ability. Since Chuck can do all of these impossible things, you want to know what else he can do? Chuck Norris is so tough, he can hit ghost types with normal and fighting moves. That's right, Chuck Norris now has the Scrappy ability! So, Chuck Norris is now a Figting/Normal pokemon with the ability Scrappy.
Now what about Slenderman? This one is much simpler, typing wise at least. Slenderman stalks people and then takes them, never to be seen again, and he has mysterious powers. The only thing that makes sense to me is a Dark/Ghost typing. You could argue a psychic typing, but I feel like the ghost type adds to the creepy essence much more. The ability is a little trickier. Slenderman is a teleporting man on stilts that's practically impossible to hurt. Well, that narrows it down a lot, actually. I feel like the ability for Slenderman would be Wonder Guard, which means only super-effective hits would be able to hit it. So now Slenderman is a Dark/Ghost pokemon with the ability Wonder Guard.
Now we can battle!
Just going by typings and nothing else, Slenderman has the advantage with his ghost type being immune to both of Chuck Norris' STABs. However, Chuck Norris is immune to one of Slenderman's STABs and resists the other one. With Slenderman's ability to teleport and cause strange things to happen, he is bound to have a couple psychic moves up his really long sleeves. In other words, Chuck Norris is in trouble.
However, now if we include abilities, Slenderman loses his immunity to Chuck Norris' STABs thanks to Chuck's ability Scrappy. With Slenderman's dark typing, he's still immune to Chuck's normal type attacks, but now Slender is weak to fighting. Thanks to Scrappy, Chuck Norris can now abuse the STAB with some of the strongest attacks out there, and I'm afraid that's all the advantage he needs.
Although it would be pretty close, I believe Chuck Norris would win in a fight with Slenderman. With a super-effective STAB, Chuck Norris has the clear advantage, and that's all the reasoning I need.
