Harasho

(*That means good in Russian, I stole it from Love Live.)

You know.

It's weird when you're suddenly, out of nowhere, okay with things in your life. I've come to terms with my gender issues, and finally sorted out my gender identity after what felt like coming in strong of it constantly bothering me for a freaking year and a half. I honestly thought it'd bother me for a long time, but it has stopped bugging me. Whether I transition or not is another story; won't talk about that in a public blog. I know what I can do to handle looking more masculine, and whanot. I got a ton of that figured out.

There's still plenty in my life that bother me. Just...less stuff, I guess? Maybe because I'm finally moving out of my ~edgy teen phase~ or something. I'm still very unhappy with myself, but I'm managing.

I've also come to terms with my paranoia and other mental issues. Sure, they get in the way of things, but I suppose they do make up a part of who I am? Bad things and good things do indeed make up everything about after all, no?

I suppose... I should apologize, however...

A couple of years ago, I was rather... "attention seeking". I realize how wrong this is/was by now. I know this was, um, two years ago? But yeah, sorry if I ever made anyone uncomfortable. Don't think any of that happened here? It was probably back on EGC V1. Hmm.

Growing up is weird, I guess. Maybe one day, I'll be 100% okay with myself.

I think the "attention seeking" phase you're referencing is a natural sort of thing to go through; it's only when it continues into adulthood that it really becomes a problem. I don't think that's something you have to apologize for.

In fact, apologizing for yourself seems silly. Unless you hurt the feelings of someone or betrayed trust, what's there to really apologize for? Existing? Bleh, no thanks. You were who you were in the moment, and even though it's cringe-worthy looking back, anybody who really matters will see you have changed for the better; including yourself.

Here's to growing up! even though being an adult sucks