Meganium
[i]memento mori[/i]
- 17,226
- Posts
- 13
- Years
- she/her
- Houston, TX
- Seen May 3, 2024
Easter is coming this weekend, as well as my Spring Break. Honestly, I was...kinda planning to take some time off (an LoA, not DLoA), starting tomorrow and come back till next Sunday. But I decided not to. I just feel I'd still come back no matter what, and I'd probably get my homework done by then. However, that's not the reason why though. I'm with a heavy heart writing this entry.
It's been almost two months since my grandmother passed away. Yes, I was really close to her, and her death came sooner than I expected. On some days it's becoming a bit of a struggle, because I was so used to her calling us every day on the phone, or seeing her online on Facebook (yeah...she had one), even visiting her almost every weekend. She was the main reason why I moved from my hometown near Los Angeles, to...this ugly border town I live now. My parents felt that living close to Mexico, at least, would give her some frequent company, and since I was 15 years old, we gave her so much company.
I'm sitting here, with a strong wave of depression that's about to hit me right now. It's going to be the first time I'll be spending the Easter holidays without my grandmother. Every year we would go to church all weekend, Friday/Saturday/Sunday, because she loved the Easter ceremonies. I respected her for that. She would also teach me all the meals she liked to cook for Good Friday, as well as for Easter, like soy ceviche, chiles rellenos, chicken enchiladas, aguachiles, and so many more.
Now that she is no longer with us...my mom had lost all contact with the rest of my aunts & uncles, as well as my great aunts. She refused to talk to them. With that, I'm spending Easter Sunday for the first time doing absolutely nothing. It's different and I don't think I'm going to like it. For every important holiday, I'm always with family. I feel that it's important to keep the bond stronger no matter how tough the times are. I had plans to go visit my family on my own, but my mom thinks I should stay with her instead. I have no idea if my mom's shutting out from the family is a sign of depression. I tried asking her if she was doing okay, but I always get a simple "yes" answer and that's it. We no longer have home phone service because of her. We no longer go shopping at Mexico. I feel like I'm losing contact with the rest of my family. Things are...just changing drastically and it's the kind of change I don't like at all.
As long as I don't bawl this weekend, I should be fine. A hug would be appreciated, guys.
It's been almost two months since my grandmother passed away. Yes, I was really close to her, and her death came sooner than I expected. On some days it's becoming a bit of a struggle, because I was so used to her calling us every day on the phone, or seeing her online on Facebook (yeah...she had one), even visiting her almost every weekend. She was the main reason why I moved from my hometown near Los Angeles, to...this ugly border town I live now. My parents felt that living close to Mexico, at least, would give her some frequent company, and since I was 15 years old, we gave her so much company.
I'm sitting here, with a strong wave of depression that's about to hit me right now. It's going to be the first time I'll be spending the Easter holidays without my grandmother. Every year we would go to church all weekend, Friday/Saturday/Sunday, because she loved the Easter ceremonies. I respected her for that. She would also teach me all the meals she liked to cook for Good Friday, as well as for Easter, like soy ceviche, chiles rellenos, chicken enchiladas, aguachiles, and so many more.
Now that she is no longer with us...my mom had lost all contact with the rest of my aunts & uncles, as well as my great aunts. She refused to talk to them. With that, I'm spending Easter Sunday for the first time doing absolutely nothing. It's different and I don't think I'm going to like it. For every important holiday, I'm always with family. I feel that it's important to keep the bond stronger no matter how tough the times are. I had plans to go visit my family on my own, but my mom thinks I should stay with her instead. I have no idea if my mom's shutting out from the family is a sign of depression. I tried asking her if she was doing okay, but I always get a simple "yes" answer and that's it. We no longer have home phone service because of her. We no longer go shopping at Mexico. I feel like I'm losing contact with the rest of my family. Things are...just changing drastically and it's the kind of change I don't like at all.
As long as I don't bawl this weekend, I should be fine. A hug would be appreciated, guys.
