Palamon
Silence is Purple
- 8,158
- Posts
- 15
- Years
- Age 27
- he/him
- Snezhnaya, Teyvat.
- Seen today
There's something I want to... talk about. (What else is new, right?)
Honestly, if anyone's seen my Twitter lately, I miss various people right now. No, I won't drop any names. Not a lot of the people I miss are on this site. I'm not really open with talking about this with anyone other than Drew, but I feel like I'd rather get this off my chest in my blog since she already know all about that stuff since I told her.
Anyway, obvious bias aside...
So, uh. Yeah, I miss a lot of my old friends right now. Some of them I still have contact with, but some I don't, so I'm trying to see if I get them into contact with me again, but either I'm afraid of losing them again or somehow, them not liking me now. I met half of the people I miss currently when I was a kid, well, teen, whatever, but I do want to try talking to whoever I can't seem to find anymore. It's worse when I miss them and still have their contact information and am too afraid.
I'm... the type of person who tends to keep my feelings for people to myself unless you get through my barriers, walls and layers. You'll never get to know how I feel about you unless you're really close to me, and it'll be a complete mystery if I consider you a friend or not. I wish I could be more open about my feelings, but I can't because I don't want to let anyone into my soul. Because... my soul belongs to me, and I don't want anyone to have it.
I do value my friendships, but I often feel like I'm a bad friend and not good enough for anyone... so, I wonder why anyone thinks I'm a good friend and have meaning.
I'll try to get in contact with my old friends and not panic about it. There's just so many people I miss right now.
At the surface, I'm just lonely, I suppose. It doesn't help that I'm trying to figure things out on how this is going to work if I do run into my old friends again...
Sigh. Sorry.
Honestly, if anyone's seen my Twitter lately, I miss various people right now. No, I won't drop any names. Not a lot of the people I miss are on this site. I'm not really open with talking about this with anyone other than Drew, but I feel like I'd rather get this off my chest in my blog since she already know all about that stuff since I told her.
Anyway, obvious bias aside...
So, uh. Yeah, I miss a lot of my old friends right now. Some of them I still have contact with, but some I don't, so I'm trying to see if I get them into contact with me again, but either I'm afraid of losing them again or somehow, them not liking me now. I met half of the people I miss currently when I was a kid, well, teen, whatever, but I do want to try talking to whoever I can't seem to find anymore. It's worse when I miss them and still have their contact information and am too afraid.
I'm... the type of person who tends to keep my feelings for people to myself unless you get through my barriers, walls and layers. You'll never get to know how I feel about you unless you're really close to me, and it'll be a complete mystery if I consider you a friend or not. I wish I could be more open about my feelings, but I can't because I don't want to let anyone into my soul. Because... my soul belongs to me, and I don't want anyone to have it.
I do value my friendships, but I often feel like I'm a bad friend and not good enough for anyone... so, I wonder why anyone thinks I'm a good friend and have meaning.
I'll try to get in contact with my old friends and not panic about it. There's just so many people I miss right now.
At the surface, I'm just lonely, I suppose. It doesn't help that I'm trying to figure things out on how this is going to work if I do run into my old friends again...
Sigh. Sorry.