My mind right now...

…I don't know. There's so many emotions going through me right now as I'm typing this.

It's been a rough night…emotionally, and it's been that way for almost every weekend that I'm in Galveston. No, Roy & I did not have an argument or anything. He and I are still doing pretty well, so no need to worry.

I'm just…I hate to see him feeling so…frustrated about everything that he's going through right now. He just had a huge fight with his dad, kept questioning him about life. I mean, I see him and he seems to handle things just right. Why does he have to get involved? Why does he have to have the unnecessary control? Is he the main reason why Roy's mom is in that current emotional state?

Part of me wants to get him away from his current toxic state. Another part of me wants him to endure it. But alas, there's not much I can do other than be a supporter to whatever he does and doesn't do. I can't control him, either, nor tell him what's right or what's wrong. I want him to take risks, the same thing I've been doing for the past six months. So far he's learned how to stand up for himself, and for his mom. He was also able to learn how to take charge of his life one step at a time. He learned that from me.

The ol' saying, "the saddest people smile the brightest" is true for me. Every time I see him smile and laugh, I throw him a big ass smile that tells him "oh my god you are so happy and I am so proud of you." It really does. Because before I came to his life he wasn't as happy…having to deal with family drama every day and worst of all, he didn't have many friends that were close to him. So he had some difficulty. Don't get me wrong, I had it rough as well before I moved to Houston, but it took me loads of willpower to get through it, especially with my lingering anxiety.

The best, best, ABSOLUTE BEST thing I can do for him right now? Listen. He listened to me when I was going through depression back in April. He listened to my life story, and how I got to where I am now. Now it's my turn, and so far it has become a huuuge help for him. He really needed someone to support him. There are *some* decisions that I may not agree with, but come on. It's not love when you do not support your SO in whatever he wants to achieve, no matter what. I learned this lesson a few months ago. It's the matter of looking past their flaws.

Apologies for the rambling. I needed to get it out.