Boys Will Be Boys

[Esper]

Ever heard the phrase "boys will be boys?" Probably. It's used to mean something along the lines of "boys will behave badly" and depending on one's perspective it might be seen as either disrespectful or enabling, but either way it assumes that there is something about boys that's uncivil.

What do we think of boys - and men in general? Are they naturally bad or encouraged to be bad? Is bad behavior more tolerable in boys than in girls? Do we limit boys with phrases and attitudes like "boys will be boys?" Are boys even more uncivil than girls? Does anything need to change in anyone's behavior?

These are just some questions to get your started Share whatever thoughts and stories you have.

 

[Rogue planet]

It's all part of socialisation. Boys are brought up with far more freedom than girls, they're expected to carry more responsibility, become influential & powerful, have a successful career that they should achieve ruthlessly, and take charge of every situation. For a lot of boys, the only way to achieve it is through rebelling and 'behaving badly'.

I believe nobody is naturally bad, people just become bad due to external influences. It is more tolerable in boys than in girls, because girls aren't expected to be bad by the majority of society. Sugar, spice and everything nice for girls; rats, snails and puppy dog tails for boys.

Although I think society's attention to boy's bad behaviour is unjustified. There are just as many girls that behave badly, but a blind eye is turned to it. I am sure we all know from our school years how girls can be very vicious, manipulative and *****y; it continues into adulthood. Boys tend to be more violent and drastic in their bad behaviour, girls are more subtle and manipulative, therefore undetected a lot of the time, but they are no less harmful.

 

[Broken_Arrow]

I agree with Vendak

but something i hate about men and boys that they like to lie..a lot...they also can't understand what women want,most of time if not all the time...they also think acting nice is bad and will prob show them weak or girly and i experianced that with lots of boys TBH

they aren't bad by nature as good boys does exist and even those bad boys have their reasons to be bad,i never judge someone unless i deal with him...there are bad boys who wait for a reason to be good ones and there are bad boys who prefer to stay bad whatever happens...there are bad girls too..actually lately lots of girls act bad very bad without being blamed.

that's what i have in mind now..i'll be back to discuss again...Good topic ^^

 

[Chikara]

In my experience, and for my own viewing pleasure, I've noticed that guys can indeed be complete scumbags.

But honestly, girls can be a lot worse. If a girl does a guy wrong, she'll find some way to turn it against him, so she's the victim. If a guy does a girl wrong, she'll gossip and smack talk, and all this other immature crap to get back at the guy in a vain and pitiful attempt to ruin his social standing.

It's all understandable, considering my age group, and this is all I've seen happen. But girls can definitely be a lot nastier than guys.


But yeah, guys. I dunno, it all depends on personality. Guys are a bit funner to be around(to me).

 

[twocows]

What is "bad?" I don't think the behavior you're referring to as "bad" is really morally intolerable. I don't see a problem with it; kids tend to act out, as long as they realize the consequences and accept their punishment for it, who cares?

 

[Renegade1]

I'm a guy. I never found the statement 'Boys will be boys' to enable me to misbehave or be disrespect etc.

I find that guys do generally get off lighter then girls if they behave wrongly. But I don't condone it. Everyone should act in some way, respectful. If everyone was respectful of each other and their feelings. I think very few would 'misbehave'. Boys will be boys wouldn't mean anything then.

On the other hand, ones may consider to be respectul, differently to someone else. Just like the term behave is relative. It depends on each person outlook.

 

[TRIFORCE89]

I hated that phrase a kid and I hate it now.

I always saw it as an excuse by parents on the bad behavior of the sons. But, I've never roughhoused, was aggressive, liked getting dirty, etc. I always hated the phrase because it excluded me from being considered a dude XD Apparently, you can't be well behaved and a guy based on that saying.

I had a supply teacher once who used "smart boy" as an example of an oxymoron. Sorta...similar I think.

 

[Gamzee]

It's an incredibly ignorant, sexist, uninformed, close-minded, and outright disgusting viewpoint. Believing in or promoting negative gender stereotypes (towards men AND women alike) does nothing but halt progress towards gender equality.

 

[Mercurybro]

I have no doubt that guys have more of a tendency to be bad than girls. Boys have a more "get up and do stuff" fixation that I could probably spend time tracing back to the early hunting and gathering days of mankind. I think there's a lot more to the saying than simply "being bad", though.

Personally, I don't care as much about what it means, because I rarely hear this phrase at all, and if I did and it was directed at me, it would just roll off me like water off a duck's back.

 

[miltankRancher]

It wis a rather sexist concept, but let's face it. Boys had been stereotyped as "bad" and girls as the "good." Many girls have been more... naughty than most boys (yes I know some).

 

[femtrooper]

When girls are total *****es towards each other, there is no 'girls will be girls' attitude. Girls are nasty sometimes. I do think it's annoying that we say 'boys will be boys' because it basically excuses bad behavior simply due to gender. That needs to stop.

 

[psyanic]

I never liked the phrase. Just because boys are... boys doesn't mean they can't behave properly.

Anyway, males aren't just born with a bad attitude. I think we're just more impulsive. We think quickly and just get things done. I don't think we're really encouraged to be bad at all. It's kind of like "instinct".

 

[Calipornia]

It's quite simple, I believe. It's merely an excuse used by bad parents as an excuse for their son's bad behavior. A second way to look at it is as the parents who use it de-fault themselves from responsibility about their son's behavior, blaming it on his gender.

As for Broken Arrow's post, I will reply to that in the relationship thread.

 

[Jayster23]

My view on the phrase is simple. It's pretty much saying boys will do rash things and will get themselves in trouble. It's instinct. It especially happens when an attractive girl or a girl they find attractive is around. Showing off and being a misfit is all apart 90% of boys' natures. Let it be.

 

[Shanghai Alice]

I think people too often confuse simple childhood energy with some hardwired activity caused by whether or not a person has... that thing.

While it's true that boys are taught that they should be dirtier and rowdier, and that girls are taught that they should be cuter (oftentimes to a lethal overdose level) and calmer, the simple fact is that children will be children, bitter and backstabbing teenagers will be bitter and backstabbing teens, and...

As for adulthood, the topic of sexism gets a hell of a lot more complicated.

 

[Livewire]

It's usually poor parenting, is the issue. And gender stereotypes that people feel the need to conform to. I knew plenty of girls growing up that were crazier and rasher than I was.

 

[Oryx]

My view on the phrase is simple. It's pretty much saying boys will do rash things and will get themselves in trouble. It's instinct. It especially happens when an attractive girl or a girl they find attractive is around. Showing off and being a misfit is all apart 90% of boys' natures. Let it be.

What part of a being male makes him unable to control his actions? I know plenty of men who have been perfectly able to control what they do once they reach the age of reason and realize if they do something rash and reckless they will get in trouble. If someone is unable to at least most of the time control their instinctual urges, then they haven't been taught well enough.

It's just passing blame to say boys can't control themselves when they see a pretty girl. It's not that they can't, they just don't want to and because of the "boys will be boys" attitude they don't feel like they have to have any self-control.

 

[Livewire]

I think most of the time parents already have notions about how troublesome little boys can be, and adjust discipline accordingly. They kind of assume young boys will act a little crazy, I think.

 

[Kylie-chan]

The sexism on both sides in this thread is pretty woeful, but it's funny how you take an inch of social privilege away and suddenly girls are the unfair sex.

Personal note: 'Boys will be boys' was the exact phrase used to justify prolonged sexual and non-sexual verbal harassment of me throughout high school. It was the phrase used to justify them tormenting me in primary school as well. Ultimately, punishment was never pursued and I had to drop out of school.

I agree with Toujours. There is nothing that encourages people more to act badly than the notion they are not responsible for it. Not only is it utterly misandrist and tragic that people set the standard that men cannot rise above themselves like the civilised human beings we supposedly are, it perpetuates that behaviour in the first place.

 

[Ephemeral Euphoria]

If it's a once in a blue moon minor prank or misdemeanor for a special occasion then I can sympathize with the saying, if it's something along the lines of setting a retirement home on fire in the middle of the night while the people inside are still sleeping then not so much.