favorite one-liners

[dad]

what are your favorite one-liners?

here are some of my favorites:
boy are you from holland because amsterdayum.
do you have 11 protons because you are sodium fine.

 

[El Héroe Oscuro]

"Hey good lookin', if you were a pirate, would you have your parrot on this shoulder, or this shoulder."

That's when you put your hand on your lass' opposite shoulder for a true bloom snugglefest. Only I always reverse the shoulders just to make myself seem foolish, which ultimately makes her laugh most of the time.

 

[Alfieri]

"Charmanders are red, Squirtles are blue.
If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.
Your smile is stronger than a Hyper Beam, like Jesse and James, we'd make the perfect team.
I'll stay by your side like Pikachu and Ash, and I'll love you more than a level 80 Rapidash.
You're more legendary than a Zapdos, Entei or Mew, but out of all 721, I choose you."

Oh and "You're the Nidoqueen to my Nidoking."

 

[Sonata]

All of my pickup lines are overly sexual and only good for one night stands or a good laugh and prompt blocking. I never use pickup lines.

 

[CoffeeDrink]

^ Pretty much what he said, but I've always appreciated this one:

"My magic watch says you're not wearing any panties. What? You are? Hm. Must be 15 minutes fast."

I don't think it's ever worked, but it is a good chuckle.

 

[The ???]

I love them but they can't work in my country XD
People won't understand SHIT!

 

[Volga]

I've never used a pick-up line.
But here's on my ex-boyfriend used on me before we started dating. We already kind of knew each other so he knew I was Irish.

"Hey, are you a leprechaun, because that ass is gold."
Then he proceeded to slap it.

Just to be clear, that line isn't what got us together lol.

 

[Poki]

Pick-up lines are stupid.

 

[Blazinbones]

I just treated my wife like a woman and the happily ever after began.

 

[Pollichops]

Excuse me. Can you help me find my Dragonballs?

 

[dad]

title change yo.

i just heard this one and i think it's golden:
do you need an inhaler? bc you got ass ma

 

[Nah]

"Charmanders are red, Squirtles are blue.
If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.
Your smile is stronger than a Hyper Beam, like Jesse and James, we'd make the perfect team.
I'll stay by your side like Pikachu and Ash, and I'll love you more than a level 80 Rapidash.
You're more legendary than a Zapdos, Entei or Mew, but out of all 721, I choose you."

Oh and "You're the Nidoqueen to my Nidoking."

Have you actually used those on girls before?

 

[Alfieri]

Have you actually used those on girls before?

Yes I have. Why do you ask?

 

[Nah]

Yes I have. Why do you ask?

I actually kinda thought that you were gonna say no.

But how did they react to those lines?

 

[Poki]

But how did they react to those lines?

It's funny 'cause he used those on me and I laughed at the memories.

 

[Alfieri]

I actually kinda thought that you were gonna say no.

But how did they react to those lines?

The Nidoking Nidoqueen line worked on almost every girl I tried it on. I don't use it anymore because I've noticed a lot of other guys using it so it's getting corny.

The poem one only got a few giggles here and there from a few girls. You'd figure a poem from tumblr with a lot of notes would get better results.

 

[Kyoe]

"The word is legs! Let's go back to my place and spread the word!"

But honestly, I don't use pickup lines. I will sometimes, but only to be corny and be able to laugh about it.
Most of them that I've heard are more apt to get me slapped than win me any points, anyway...

---

The poem one only got a few giggles here and there from a few girls. You'd figure a poem from tumblr with a lot of notes would get better results.

Someday I'll teach you about women, Al... :/

 

[Alfieri]

Someday I'll teach you about women, Al... :/

Yes because I totally need advice about women oh wise one.

 

[Her]

The Nidoking Nidoqueen line worked on almost every girl I tried it on. I don't use it anymore because I've noticed a lot of other guys using it so it's getting corny.

i'm shocked
i'm genuinely, positively shocked

 

[maccrash]

like, to echo what other people have said, it actually genuinely pains me to even IMAGINE saying those to someone you're pursuing. but more power to you man. that is a level of courage I will never achieve (do I even want to?).