I did a bit of tweaking to the storyline, your original idea was quite bland.(no offence!)
Well, the base script is still the same(dark place, dream etc.) but the game starts with the player having 2 choices, (depending on the tile he steps on) the script ain't finished, still needs a few cries here and there, some colour changes, final editing and so on. I've got a big history test 2morrow, so i may not be able to finish it today. Maybe sometime next week!