Recent content by Blademaster_Jale

Chapter Seven Chapter Seven: Battle under the Moon The door to the Petalburg Gym opened again, this time yielding a teenage boy to enter the room. He climbed down the stairs, towards the man who was feeding his pokemon in the gym’s main arena. Frank looked up as Joel drew near. “Hey, Joel...

well, ive caught up again and im here once more to review. first, chapter four: hm... itd be difficult to really describe your mistakes without actually showing them to you, so ill just go over the chapter bit by bit: this is just stating facts, something you dont usually want to do in a...

Chapter Six Chapter Six: The City, the Leader, and the Silcoon. Shana gazed in awe at the five-story buildings around her. Petalburg, though branded as a city, was mainly so due to how closely its buildings were built together and the presence of a Pokemon Gym at its center. But, despite it...

alright, if i can get the time ill be sure to read. EDIT: hang on... so, someone didnt like my fic so they just gave it a crappy rating and left? they couldve at least TOLD me and given me pointers on what they didnt like. i dont really care about losing stars on the rating of this thread, its...

Chapter Five Chapter Five: The First Awakening The door creaked open as Javin entered the room. It was obvious that Maxie liked grandeur; all around the room were very vivid paintings or tapestries, all featuring rare or powerful pokemon. One single pokemon dominated most of them: it was about...

uh, i never said it wasnt a coincidence, and i wasnt getting worked up over it. i just thought it was cool. geez, some people...

Chapter Four sorry this is a day late; i had a ton of computer trouble yesterday. either way, this chapter mainly helps give you more of an idea of Joel's character. Chapter Four: Dreams and Professors. Joel leaned back casually in his desk, pretending to listen to the teacher. His eyes were...

ok, so right now im re-playing Gold for like the five thousandth time, and im on that route between Olivine and Cianwood cities. the wierd thing here, though is the names of the first three trainers on that route: Swimmer Simon, Swimmer(female) Paula, and then Swimmer Randall. now thats very...

eh, might as well... ive posted my fanfiction, The Heart of the Enemy, on these boards now. well, a week or so ago actually, but either way... i have poured a lot of time into writing it, and though its not done im posting it chapter-by-chapter here on wednesdays and saturdays. anyone who...

Chapter Three Warning: long chapter. Chapter 3: A great start, then this… Route 101, Hoenn. It’s most often the first place a new trainer from Hoenn would see. It’s not exactly an eyesore, either. The path winds through a long, grassy field dotted with trees and tall grass. The edges of a...

i think you invented a few words in that chapter... like "gesticulating"? i think you meant to say "gesturing". and also, "disorientated" should be "disoriented". either way, the chapter in itself wasnt too shabby. i think you couldve done a better job with the evolution, but that's just my...

between your two choices, hmm... id say cherish ball, since its all red and cool-lookin, but i did catch Groudon with a Premier Ball once... oh, and if you would lower the size of your text and turn the caps lock off, it would make your posts easier to read and you wouldnt seem like youre...

i think theyre all pretty balanced. sure, all three Sinnoh starters have secondary types, but doesnt that mean they dont get as much of a boost for those moves? Sceptile, Blastoise, and the Johto starters are all pure in their type, so when they use a move of that type it gets a better boost...

Chapter 2 Chapter 2: Escape! “Camerupt, let’s have some fun!”“Kabutops, how about we show this idiot how we earned the title Champion?”“Oh, so you’re a Champion? I’m really gonna believe that. Seriously, I’m quaking in my shoes. Camerupt, use Flamethrower!” Two pokeballs flew from their...

you're doing very well so far; i found very few mistakes in this chapter. you did well when describing the pokemon and their moves, too. i like how the plot is developing, too, with the government asking blaine to handle their failed projects. keep up the good work!