All That Matters (Originshipping, m/m)

Chapter 1: Confession

The last thing Wallace was expecting upon his return to Sootopolis was a visitor. The League Champion had made arrangements and obtained permission to return to his hometown for a brief visit with his teacher and the Pok?mon that he had left behind when he had assumed his new rank. He was fairly certain that he had left Ever Grande in as inconspicuous a manner as possible, so that no one other than the other Elite Four members and his former teacher would have known of his return. Nevertheless, at this very moment his Pok?mon were insisting that someone was at the door.

"But that's odd...I didn't hear any knocking. Or footsteps." And his Pok?mon were acting far too calmly for the visitor to be a thief or intruder, even though half past three a.m. was a decidedly unusual time for most people to be up and about. Then again, he hadn?t been able to sleep himself, and had chosen to deal with his insomnia by introducing his new Pok?mon to his old ones and catching up on recent developments with the latter, all whilst basking in the calm ambience of the night.

<He's just standing at the door. He hasn't knocked yet, although it looks like he wants to. Now he's starting to leave.> This most recent piece of information came to Wallace courtesy of his Milotic?his most trusted Pok?mon and one of the only ones who had been able to stay with him in his transition from Gym Leader to Champion.

"He?" Wallace pondered the significance of this as he raced to the door and opened it just in time to see a figure freeze in mid-walk about twenty meters from the doorstep. As his eyes adjusted to the dim moonlight, Wallace detected something familiar about the person.

"Steven? Is that you?"

The figure made no response. Wallace was now fairly certain that it was indeed his longtime friend whom he had not seen for nearly a year. He quickly caught up to the figure, which at least was not making any attempt to get away. He confirmed his suspicions upon approach.

"Steven! Why, it's been a while, hasn't it? How are you doing?"

Steven did not turn around.

"Steven...Are you all right? What are you doing here at this hour? Is something wrong?"

Nothing but silence greeted all of Wallace's questions, which was enough to answer at least one of them.

"Would you care to tell me what's bothering you?" Wallace reached out and put a hand on Steven's shoulder to call his attention. He felt Steven flinch under the touch, although the other man did not move away.

"Steven."

An expectant silence.

And then, almost inaudible despite the silence of the night:

"I'm sorry."

Wallace found it difficult to decipher the muttered words.

"Pardon?"

There was another silence. Then...

"Wallace." The word was a mere whisper. Steven at last began slowly turning around to face his friend. However, he kept his head down so that Wallace could see nothing of the facial expression hidden beneath the wind-tousled strands of silvery-blue hair.

"I...I'm so sorry..."

"You're...sorry?" Wallace could now easily guess the expression he couldn't see, but this only left him more confused.

"I...I went traveling..."

The water trainer forced his mind to adjust to this bit of non sequitur.

"Yes, as you always do."

"I went...all around Hoenn..."

"Did something happen somewhere?" Wallace desperately wanted Steven to get to the point. The water trainer was only too aware that speaking in a direct, concise manner was second nature to a businessman's son with a scientifically-oriented mind. He therefore found Steven's sudden attack of circumlocution highly unnerving.

"...and then?I?I met someone.?

?Who??

?A?a very?powerful trainer.?

?Do I get a name??

??? Steven hesitated again. ??It?s, well, let?s just say you?ve probably heard of this person.?

"All right, I?ll take that as a no. Let me guess, you battled the trainer, he or she defeated you, and you came back here to apologize for losing," Wallace teased.

"No, it?s not like that at all!? Steven stopped, surprised by his own sudden outburst. ?Sorry. What I meant is...we?we just talked. Mostly. That?s all."

"Oh? But somehow I doubt that ?just talking? would leave you this upset."

Steven did not respond.

"I won't stop questioning you until you tell me, you know."

"We battled."

Wallace smiled mischievously. "Ah, so you did?"

"But we didn't finish. We called it a draw, because?I mean?he said something?asked me something?and then I..."

"And then you??" Wallace silently noted the new detail revealed by Steven?s choice of pronoun.

"I?? Steven knew it was now or never, and he just couldn?t bring himself to keep a secret like this from such a close friend. ?It's really complicated, but some things happened and we?we got...involved." There, he?d said it.

"Involved? How do you mean?"

"I mean...I...the way we...you and I...were..." Steven's voice faltered.

Wallace mentally finished the sentence and gave himself a moment to digest this information. He could feel the tension emanating from Steven as the young man awaited a response.

?I?I see.? Wallace noted with concern that his companion flinched visibly the instant the first syllable broke the silence. Another long period of silence followed, and then Steven spoke.

?I?m so sorry. And if you?re angry, I understand. You have every right to be.?

?I do? What for?? Wallace asked with his head tilted quizzically to one side.

Steven looked up in surprise. "What do you mean 'what for'? Didn't you hear what I just said?"

Finally able to get a good look at his friend?s face, Wallace took his time observing the trepidation in his companion?s flustered expression before responding, "Yes, indeed I did."

"Then...Then you ought to know exactly why..." Steven let his words trail off as the realization hit him:

"You're not angry with me?"

"Is there some reason I should be?"

"Is there any reason you shouldn't be? I just admitted to...doing that...with...with a complete stranger, after we?you and I?had already?!" Steven did not bother to hide the embarrassment and frustration he felt?frustration partially at himself for being so stupid and vulnerable, and frustration partially at Wallace for remaining so calm. His frustration only deepened when Wallace's reacted to his outburst with an amused chuckle.

"Come now, Steven, the expression ?beautiful stranger? wasn?t invented for nothing. You can hardly be blamed for acting according to human nature?especially given that your own nature is unusually sweet and guileless." Wallace's voice was soft, almost purring, and Steven found himself hating the way the silken sound flowed through his mind and broke through every last one of his usually-impregnable mental defenses. How could one person hold so much power over anyone, least of all over someone who prided himself on his ability to conceal and suppress any and all emotions at will? But all the irritation in the world could not stop the sound, and it continued, as mesmerizing as ever.

"Besides, I would've been surprised if you of all people didn't find a powerful trainer attractive." Wallace tilted the corner of his mouth up in a sly smile. The expression only served to aggravate Steven's discomfiture. "He must have been quite charming,? Wallace added, watching with mischievous enjoyment and just the slightest twinge of guilty pleasure as the pink already tinting his friend's cheeks deepened to a shade of crimson.

"I?I still?I never should have...I never should have agreed...I never should have let myself..."

"I don't see why."

"What-what do you mean? What I did..."

"I'm quite aware of what you did, Steven, and I don't see any reason to be upset about it. Well, I suppose I might be a bit concerned if it wasn?t consensual?"

"No! I mean, no, it-it was?it must have been?consensual?on my part and his?" Steven kept his gaze trained on the floor. "It?s just...right now, I can't imagine?Wallace, I'm so sorry." Steven stood staring at the ground for another minute or so. Then, as if he suddenly remembered where he was, he turned to leave. However, he had not taken two steps when the gentle pressure of a hand on his arm arrested his progress.

Chapter 2: Tension

"Steven. Steven, please. It's all right."

"I really should go."

?Steven, you realize that it?s almost four in the morning??

?So? You?re up, aren?t you??

?What about your Pok?mon? I should think that they won?t be too pleased.?

?That?s all right. My Pok?mon will be fine; none of them are strictly diurnal. And I?ll be doing paperwork all day tomorrow, so they?ll have as much time as they want to rest up.?

?That?s not what I meant. They might not have set patterns of rest and activity, but I?m sure they know that you do, and I doubt they approve of you wearing yourself out. And if you?ve got enough paperwork to keep you occupied all day, you certainly won?t be able to rest up. I can tell you?re exhausted even as we speak. The least you can do is come inside and sit awhile.?

Steven realized there would be no arguing with his friend, so he let Wallace lead him into the house. Both were greeted at the door by Wallace?s Pok?mon, who despite the formality of their greeting were apparently just as pleased to see Steven as their trainer had been. Steven returned their polite but congenial salutations, and decided that his own Pok?mon could do with some company as well. The Pok?mon were aware of the crowding that was now occurring in the house, and excused themselves outside, conveniently?and not unintentionally?leaving their trainers alone. The Milotic even shared a knowing glance with his trainer as he closed the door behind him with his tail.

Now once again alone with Wallace, Steven felt embarrassment overcome him. He shifted awkwardly in his standing position and made several attempts to raise his head, but no matter how hard he tried, he could not bring himself to look at his friend. This left Wallace to break the silence.

?Steven, I?ve already told you there?s no reason for you to apologize. You haven?t done anything wrong.? Wallace did not bother to hide the fact that he was getting tired of Steven?s continued guilt trip. However, Steven still couldn?t understand the reasons for his friend?s continued apathy toward his confession.

?Why???

?What do you mean, ?Why???

?Why?Why aren?t you angry? As if it weren?t enough that I forced the burden of the Championship on you, I used the new freedom you?d given me?a freedom that you and your Pok?mon alone paid the price for?by going off and fooling around with someone else! And worst of all, I did that after we?d already?given ourselves to each other! I?ve done the unforgivable, and yet you?you?? Steven?s chest was heaving with barely contained emotion, making it impossible for him to continue speaking.

?Steven, please calm down. I now see why you expect me to be angry, but the truth is that those are the reasons that you are angry with yourself, not the reasons that I should be angry with you.?

?Then?Then?you?re still not??? Steven was stunned. Even after all that he had just said?

?Of course not!? Noting the expression on Steven?s face after this declaration, Wallace quickly added, ?And before you continue feeling guilty about how you don?t deserve such magnanimity from me, you should know that my lack of anger doesn?t stem from any sort of altruism. I haven?t gotten any saintlier since we last met, and if you had indeed done something to hurt our relationship, I would most certainly be angry. But the fact is that you haven?t. When you told me why I should be angry with you, you were comparing things of two entirely different magnitudes. I?m surprised you don?t realize this.? Wallace raised an eyebrow at his friend in mild consternation.

?What?what do you mean? What haven?t I realized? What do you mean by comparing things of two different magnitudes??

?I mean the difference in importance between what I did in taking over for you as Champion and what you did in becoming involved with a stranger. A relationship as close as ours has to be based on things?events, emotions, memories?that truly mean something to us, things that have affected us deeply and permanently: my taking over for you as Champion is one of those things, our little one-night stand was not.?

?What?? Are-Are you?Are you saying that sleeping with me didn?t affect you!? Steven?s disbelief and agitation caused his voice to rise in volume and pitch. ?It certainly affected me! And I?m pretty sure the memory won?t disappear anytime soon!? Steven?s voice quavered on those last words. Seeing the other man so distressed, Wallace?s gaze softened, and he reached out and gently grasped Steven?s hand, squeezing it softly in reassurance. He half-expected Steven to pull away, but instead felt a brief tightening of fingers around his own. Wallace smiled in relief and responded to his friend?s question.

?It did affect me, and I treasure that moment and hope never to forget it. But I must ask you, which do you think means more to me: the romance we had for one night, or the friendship that we?ve had for years? Which do you think our relationship is based on??

Steven realized what his friend was trying to say and felt slightly stupid for not realizing it sooner, but even so, not all of his doubts had been quelled. ?I?I thought?because we?d?done that?that we were in love, and that it was part of our relationship now! Our relationship isn?t just one of platonic friendship anymore?is it??

?And what if it isn?t? Even if romance is now part of our relationship, it certainly isn?t the most important part! At least, I?ve never thought of it as part of the basis of our relationship. I?ve always seen it as a sort of?side effect that happened because we?re so close.?

?But...Wallace, didn?t you know that it was precisely because we?re so close that I was afraid that I?d damaged our relationship? If we weren?t so close, I?d never even worry that you?d be angry with me for what I did, because I?d be certain that you wouldn?t care and wouldn?t be hurt if you knew. But because we are so close?I?I?I was so afraid that I?d hurt you that?that?it never occurred to me that you wouldn?t see it the same way I did??

Wallace could feel Steven?s hand trembling in his own, and he entwined their fingers together in an attempt to comfort the distraught man.

?It?s all right??

?No, no it?s not!? Steven jerked his hand away and clenched it into a fist.

Wallace sighed. They appeared to have taken a step backwards.