Anxiety.
Walking on sunshine.
- 1,670
- Posts
- 16
- Years
- Birmingham, England.
- Seen Feb 5, 2011
First off, this is a dead serious topic and I need serious help, so if you don't think you can do that don't bother replying - thanks in advance.
This isn't about a love relationship, either. Neither of them are.
Friend one.
I've know my friend for 13 years, she's the only person I honest confide in and I really trust her with everything. Physically, she is so stunning it hurts. Admittedly, I have had a crush on her for a rediculous amount of time. She knows this, and she messes me about because she knows that if anything happens, she'll be the one I go to, and I'll be the one she goes to. I wouldn't go out with her, I don't think, because I respect her so much.
Now here is the problem. All over her arms, her upper thighs and knuckles are scars. Not cuts, but burns. She's burnt her upper thighs with hot metal rods, her arms with cigarettes, lighters and plain fire, and her knuckles are cut up because she cuts them, because they bleed alot and she likes to use the blood for artistic photos (Which look amazing, but thats not the point (She also punches walls in anger, but I do that too)) She takes drugs, a good amount to, smokes and gets drunk very often. She can be so happy, and then she'll snap and go crazy on people. She sets things on fire just for the fun of it (Admittedly, I do this aswell) and that didn't bother me until she told me she tried to set a girl on fire because she insulted her. She has an anger managment class at school, two phsycologists, and a therapist and she isn't really getting better.
I constantly ignore the way she abuses me because I'm aware of how mentally unstable she is. She sometimes just yells at me and tells me how terrible I am and that she hates me, and then she'll come out with the sweetest things ever, about a month ago she turned around after an argument about her trying to get high of paracetamol and said
"You're amazing, I love you and I respect you so much. Honestly, you're perfect. You have no faults because you stay with me and I know how much I abuse you, and I know that you don't care and you stick around anyway" which is huge coming from her.
I was doing well, until we had an argument because she didn't speak to me for no reason for about two months. She admitted to me that she had tried to commit suicide, via drowining herself in her bathroom, she still hasn't told me why she stopped half way through. Ever since then I've been constantly worrying about her, I love her too much to let her go, and I'm the only person who knows about her suicide attempt, and if she does it again and actually dies, I wont know what to do, and I'll blame myself, and end up with serious depression or something.
What can I do? What do I say to her and how do I help her without letting her know that I'm doing it?
Friend two.
I've known her for two/three years, and she's changed my life a dramatic amount. She is one of those people I go to when I'm crying, and she always understands what I mean. This is also my sisters ex-girlfriend (They're still very close friends). Phsyically she is amazing, beautiful and I mean it.
Lets start off with her father. Emotionally abusive to her. He had a stroke a few years ago, and one night, for no reason he flipped and tried to break her arm, and when she pulled away, he tried to break her neck. She sat up in her room with the door and window locked, crying and talking to my sister for almost six hours (Just my guess)
And her brother. He used to be very close with her, until some family argument when she was twelve, he called her a ***** and left. He became very addicted to drugs and alcohol and it ruined her family life completely, as in, ripped it to shreds.
Her sister, a prostitute, or used to be, I'm not sure. Not all that nice to her.
And now her. She has gender dysphoria, which means her gender is different from her sex. Gender = Mentally, Sex = Phsyically. (Maybe its the opposite way around, but I think thats right) Mentally, she is male, and physically, she is female. As you can imagine, this causes so much confusion. Not many people believe her, including her mother who refuses to take her to threapy. This is giving her borderline depression. Much like me, she has anxiety and paranoia issues. She's very inclosed, she doesn't like to talk about her problems, so when she turned around and said 'I want to go to threapy' it was a big step. Her mother, as I said, refused, and now she isn't so sure again. She has dropped out of college and doesn't know what to do with her life. She's starting drinking more. She also hates the way she looks (Which I don't understand at all) I can see her breaking down, every time I look at her I think about how much she means to me, and I'm just watching her ruin herself.
How can I help her? She wont go to therapy now, is there something I can say? Anything?
So there you have it, my two most wrecked up friends. I can't handle it anymore, I can't watch them breaking themselves down. Please, tell me what to do, someone.
This isn't about a love relationship, either. Neither of them are.
Friend one.
Spoiler:
I've know my friend for 13 years, she's the only person I honest confide in and I really trust her with everything. Physically, she is so stunning it hurts. Admittedly, I have had a crush on her for a rediculous amount of time. She knows this, and she messes me about because she knows that if anything happens, she'll be the one I go to, and I'll be the one she goes to. I wouldn't go out with her, I don't think, because I respect her so much.
Now here is the problem. All over her arms, her upper thighs and knuckles are scars. Not cuts, but burns. She's burnt her upper thighs with hot metal rods, her arms with cigarettes, lighters and plain fire, and her knuckles are cut up because she cuts them, because they bleed alot and she likes to use the blood for artistic photos (Which look amazing, but thats not the point (She also punches walls in anger, but I do that too)) She takes drugs, a good amount to, smokes and gets drunk very often. She can be so happy, and then she'll snap and go crazy on people. She sets things on fire just for the fun of it (Admittedly, I do this aswell) and that didn't bother me until she told me she tried to set a girl on fire because she insulted her. She has an anger managment class at school, two phsycologists, and a therapist and she isn't really getting better.
I constantly ignore the way she abuses me because I'm aware of how mentally unstable she is. She sometimes just yells at me and tells me how terrible I am and that she hates me, and then she'll come out with the sweetest things ever, about a month ago she turned around after an argument about her trying to get high of paracetamol and said
"You're amazing, I love you and I respect you so much. Honestly, you're perfect. You have no faults because you stay with me and I know how much I abuse you, and I know that you don't care and you stick around anyway" which is huge coming from her.
I was doing well, until we had an argument because she didn't speak to me for no reason for about two months. She admitted to me that she had tried to commit suicide, via drowining herself in her bathroom, she still hasn't told me why she stopped half way through. Ever since then I've been constantly worrying about her, I love her too much to let her go, and I'm the only person who knows about her suicide attempt, and if she does it again and actually dies, I wont know what to do, and I'll blame myself, and end up with serious depression or something.
What can I do? What do I say to her and how do I help her without letting her know that I'm doing it?
Friend two.
Spoiler:
I've known her for two/three years, and she's changed my life a dramatic amount. She is one of those people I go to when I'm crying, and she always understands what I mean. This is also my sisters ex-girlfriend (They're still very close friends). Phsyically she is amazing, beautiful and I mean it.
Lets start off with her father. Emotionally abusive to her. He had a stroke a few years ago, and one night, for no reason he flipped and tried to break her arm, and when she pulled away, he tried to break her neck. She sat up in her room with the door and window locked, crying and talking to my sister for almost six hours (Just my guess)
And her brother. He used to be very close with her, until some family argument when she was twelve, he called her a ***** and left. He became very addicted to drugs and alcohol and it ruined her family life completely, as in, ripped it to shreds.
Her sister, a prostitute, or used to be, I'm not sure. Not all that nice to her.
And now her. She has gender dysphoria, which means her gender is different from her sex. Gender = Mentally, Sex = Phsyically. (Maybe its the opposite way around, but I think thats right) Mentally, she is male, and physically, she is female. As you can imagine, this causes so much confusion. Not many people believe her, including her mother who refuses to take her to threapy. This is giving her borderline depression. Much like me, she has anxiety and paranoia issues. She's very inclosed, she doesn't like to talk about her problems, so when she turned around and said 'I want to go to threapy' it was a big step. Her mother, as I said, refused, and now she isn't so sure again. She has dropped out of college and doesn't know what to do with her life. She's starting drinking more. She also hates the way she looks (Which I don't understand at all) I can see her breaking down, every time I look at her I think about how much she means to me, and I'm just watching her ruin herself.
How can I help her? She wont go to therapy now, is there something I can say? Anything?
So there you have it, my two most wrecked up friends. I can't handle it anymore, I can't watch them breaking themselves down. Please, tell me what to do, someone.