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Old September 30th, 2010, 10:11 AM
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JX Valentine
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Unfortunately, "the hour struck" doesn't quite make sense either way because an hour can't actually strike. (This phrase isn't actually normally used as a way to describe how time passes anyway. You could simply say the time, which could in itself be chilling because you're speaking plainly -- as in, it's not obvious that you've got a horror fic on your hands.) That and "the clock struck" is generally a metaphor for the passing of time in the same way that "time flies" might be one. Time doesn't literally fly, and there might not be a literal clock or a clock that literally strikes the hour. It's just a way of saying that it's a specific hour.

As for your outline, it looks like an all-right story, but you may want to be warned of two things:

1. I really hope you don't post your story in green font. I'm using the Johto Elite skin (i.e., dark background), and although I could switch, doing so abruptly might actually blind me. (I know this because I recently attempted to view the new Gen V skins. It wasn't pretty.) In short, in order to make a story readable for everyone, you'll want to leave the color tags out of your fic.

2. Now that you've told us the whole story, we already know what happens, so you probably won't have the element of surprise that you'll need for a horror fic (even if you do delete the outline as you post it). It might've been better to save the outline to your own computer.

3. While it's okay to set a horror fic about ghosts in October (although it might come off as a little cliché for anyone who doesn't know why Halloween actually exists), I do have to cringe a little at the Ouija board part. This is mostly because using a Ouija board doesn't normally involve summoning rituals in the first place. (Not that Ouija is necessarily associated with ghosts anyway. I mean, a version was put out by the same guys who sold Monopoly.) I'm just saying this because the method that the main character uses to contact ghosts might come off as a little light-hearted compared to other possible and slightly more dramatic ways (namely, actual summoning rituals).

But in any case, good luck with it.
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