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Old May 13th, 2012 (11:56 PM).
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Pikachukid Pikachukid is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Yellow Forest
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Nature: Quirky
Posts: 279
To answer your question "Ghosts need not be transparent, you know." He chuckled.
Nice story I was kinda already at the conclusion super early on in the story though, i suppose there was too much foreshadowing on that end if you were trying to make the ending surprising. Other than that the only other thing I noted was "The boy's dead body was found in route seventy-two by the river which flows from Route sixty-five." it sounds weird to me, i would change it to something more like "the boy's dead body was found in route seventy-two, downstream the river from route sixty-five" just cause it sounds a lot more clean and less cluttered.

Finished the FR/LG monotype a loooooong time ago. Not that anyone cares though.
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