The Road to Nowhere( PG-15, One Shot)
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May 14th, 2012, 07:56 AM
VOLT TACKLE >:D
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Yellow Forest
To answer your question
"Ghosts need not be transparent, you know." He chuckled.
Nice story I was kinda already at the conclusion super early on in the story though, i suppose there was too much foreshadowing on that end if you were trying to make the ending surprising. Other than that the only other thing I noted was
"The boy's dead body was found in route seventy-two by the river which flows from Route sixty-five."
it sounds weird to me, i would change it to something more like "the boy's dead body was found in route seventy-two, downstream the river from route sixty-five" just cause it sounds a lot more clean and less cluttered.
Finished the FR/LG monotype a loooooong time ago. Not that anyone cares though.
Also Known As: Pika
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