1 1 1 2.
Fall in love with the cashier. While trying to ask her out, be as awkward as possible. In the end, ask where the nearest Target is because you got lost and you're too embarassed.
11 13.
OH NO! Darkpokeball's posting with the number 13 involved in his post yet again! In order to stop this from happening, you must go time-travelling and stop Wal-Mart from ever being created. WIthout Wal-Mart, this thread wouldn't exist. Without this thread, you can't get kicked out of Wal-Mart. REalizing your loss, go back in time, and tackle your past self to save Wal-Mart. Then, break your time machine. The discharge from the break should teleport you to present day, Wal-Mart. Proceed to fight with your past self, and both versions of you will get kicked out for fighting.
11 14.
Get a megaphone. Talk about muffins through your megaphone in Wal-Mart.