X]

"I'd rather eat the juice from a beaver's butt than petroleum. Just sayin." (-Someone on the internet. It made sense at the time.)

"One day you're going to come home with your eyeballs in your pockets." (-My father > me. Stolen from my post on the last thread like this.)

"I think I broke my butt." (-My best friend > me. She had fallen onto the ground or something like that.)

I forget the exact wording, so this one is more of a scenario.
My friend was teasing that me and her older brother would make a good fake couple. He misunderstood and thought she meant a real couple. He then proceeded to request that we both agree to not get married "this year" (???). Everyone was laughing (including us).

"Ain't no way you're ever gonna make it with that good looking young lady over there."
"What? No, I was talking to him..." (Motioning toward his friend)
"Ain't no way you'll make it with him, either!"
(- Beginning with my history teacher, with my friend replying. I was that "young lady" her referred to.)

"I'm not gay!" (-A guy I know, indignantly trying to convince people who were teasing him. In reply, I put my hand on his arm and murmured, "It's okay, you don't have to hide it from us." I was joking, of course.)