Help me mess with your mind

Didn't really know where to post this, but this is the best I could find.

I am making a team that is just for messing with people (for example, I will have a Gyarados that has Splash with a Choice Scarf [or maybe a Gyaradosite and Mega evolve him to freak people out])/have a messed up description (banette/shedinja) and I want a Pokemon that is really durable that DOES NOT need to attack. It can just be a really durable Pokemon or one that can heal itself really well (aiming for how long I can keep him alive against every type of attack).

If you are wondering what the team is going to be, here is my line up so far. For the most part, moves and all that don't matter (except for Gyarados' spash!), so no point in listing it.

Gyarados
Shedinja
Tank
Banette
Another Tank?
Rattata? (/w focus sash and flail)

If you have other troll Pokemon on mind, I am all ears. (I plan on breeding them for perfect IVs in the respective stats and EV training them because I have no life)

Blissey, Mega Aggron, or eviolite Porygon2 that spams recover are all viable options.

Do you have access to B2W2? Totally FunBro. It's boss. Best troll ever.

Slowbro @ Leppa Berry
Oblivious
-Slack Off
-Block
-Recycle
-Heal Pulse

As far as I know Recycle is transfer only move as it comes from a tutor.

Trevenant is something you can consider. It can stall out opponents with SubSeed + Harvest:
-Substitute
-Leech Seed
-Will-o-Wisp
-Phantom Force
Nature: Impish
EVs: 252 HP/180 Def/76 Spe
Item: Sitrus Berry
Ability: Harvest

Thanks for all the tips. I also remembered I wanted to add a Zoroark to my team.