How would pokemon attacks be irl?

Would they wreak havoc and destruction? Make it in the form of a game.I will start by mentioning an attack/move.A person will answer mine and then say another move.The next person will answer his and say another move and it goes on on.Lets start:
Petal dance,how destructive would it be to our surrounding and how lethal to us?Kill or injure? :D

Not sure if here or Trivia section but still...

No damage. just a flower festival. party hard.

Night Slash.

Dont be mean and anyway i think its a good idea.
Night slash would either do nothing, put a shadow on us or it would slice us in half lol
Guillotine

Um I don't think its a good idea at it looks like.Its not interesting,noone answers :(
Anyway,guillotine would literally slice us in two pieces.IUt would be a clean cut.Imagine a gliscor or a kingler using it.Chopped in half.

Hydro cannon

That would kinda hurt. Tonnes of water pumping out of a cannon at high speed into your face. Ow!

Dark Void

Your just chargeing power and it doesn't do any damage.

Leaf Blade.

Just sliced with a sword made of a bunch of leaves glued together. Shouldn't hurt much, if at all.

What about Leaf Tornado?

No I think leaf blade would be really sharp and lethal.Like,cut us in half.It's Pokemon attacks dont forget that.
Anyway
Leaf tornado would be like a small tornado which is made by leaves.Like,imagine a field completely covered in leaves.Like an autumn landscape.Then a strong wind starts blowing and it lifts and whirls all these leaves forming a whirlwind of leaves.The leaves would be razor sharp.You would obviously die since you would get badly cut up,mutilated and knocked down by the wind.

Blizzard

you will die in the cold or get bad frostbite



Shadow ball

It would be a concussive ball of energy.It would hit you and knock you off your feet and throw you several meters away.You would get a bad concussion from the impact,shattered bones,internal damage and bleeding.You would either die instantly from the impact or later on from your injuries.It would be exactly the same as energy ball(note that both are 'balls' and they have both the same bp) with an only difference,that shadow ball would be well,shadowy and it would disappear upon impact.It could possibly even cause a deep trembling?

Water pulse

I think that it might hurt.Beacause it is a blast of water after all.


Psychic

Psychic would basically be telekinesis.The Pokemon would control you with its mind power and you would be similar to a rag doll.You wouldn't have any control on your body,the pokemon would throw you everywhere,knock you on the floor,crush your skull and do anything it wants.Pretty brutal.It could also lift other things and throw them at you like shattered glass,rocks or even cars!

Dark pulse