Long answers. Don't mind me, just giving details.
You're from Montana and have ended up on another world. Somewhere along the way, you visited Johto. Are you as well-travelled as you seem? If so, could you tell our audience about some of your more exciting experiences?
Sort of. After high school, I joined the US Armed Forces, specifically, the Army. I have my reasons, but for the most part, I really looked up to my Pop Pop. He was a guard Pokemon during World War I, and was even involved in combat. Well, kind of. Before anyone gets excited, Pokemon in the army are (IMO unfortunately) treated like animals. We're like Military Working Dogs, which is unfair because as Pokemon, we're all much smarter than a dog (or any other animal save for some outliers like Slowpoke), and we're not even what you'd classify as an "animal" from a human's point of view. The only Pokemon that get that right-of-passage are the human shaped ones like Machoke and Alakazam, which seems speceist to say the least. I'll get off my soapbox, though.
Of course, Pop Pop didn't have the same, I guess I should call it "progressive" stance in Pokemon-human relations as I do (and to be fair, not all Pokemon do). He was just happy to be involved. He told me so many stories about his time on duty, and I hung onto every word he said.
Anyway, to answer your question, I have traveled to the Middle East while on active duty. That was my first time outside of the US. When I was 24, that's when I ended up in Dream Land, to be given away as someone's starter. It could've happen to anyone, I was just unfortunate enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. And what's even more silly is that I would
shortly return to Earth so Dream Landers could have their own "Pokemon Master" experience.
That's how I ended up in Johto. And from there you can assume I went through the motions.
I'm not gonna lie, I hated the idea of being someone's trained monkey, especially of someone much younger than me. But my former trainer, Kine, at the time he was just so... meek. And for a giant sunfish he's adorable!
I couldn't be angry with him, he's just a boy. We bonded during our Johto trip, and I made a lot of new friends along the way that I'd never have the opportunity to meet if Dream Landers weren't so overzealous about "doing the Pokemon thing" too. Kine let us all go shortly after the fact, and while he's no longer my trainer, I will always consider him my little brother, because now he's family to me.
Oh, one more thing. It was during the Johto journey that I finally evolved. I figure I was due anyway.
Continuing with this theme, how do you feel about being so far not only from your home country, but from your home world? It must be quite a feeling.
Upset or cheated would be the first feeling I'd imagine most would have. When a Pokemon has a great attachment to their family, being torn away from them is a horrible feeling, and I don't think a lot of trainers-to-be ever consider it. Heck, Kine's other ex-Pokemon Sentret and Vulpix were forcefully orphaned (again, this is not one size fits all. Nidorino, Chikorita and Miltank were happy to leave/travel with Kine).
The thing is, being able to understand each other more as equals (the ability to communicate with one another without barriers aiding to that, no doubt), it wasn't so bad after a while. After all, Kine did give us our freedom. And wouldn't you know it, when he announced he was letting us go, I started to tear up! I couldn't be displaced
again! But he let us live with him, and that's probably when all the wackiness really began...
Dream Land also has a massive culture shock. But it's not so much that the culture is different so much as Dream Land's very nature defies what we feel is logical. For heaven's sake, trees that have hanging, detached leaves with
no branches whatsoever, stars are all over the place, some of them pass through you like a ghost, and overall, there's a lot of colorful, floaty gravity defying stuff. Rainbow Resort is possibly the epicenter of Pop Star's surreality. It's honestly enough to drive foreigners insane because it's just so... awesome. And I mean that using the original definition. Your mind just can't take it without having adjusted first, unless you're special like Ness who probably sees all kinds of weird stuff in his mind all the time.
Today, I'm used to life on Pop Star. Do I miss my biological family? Every single day, because they are the world to me. Turns out there's a shuttle that travels the cosmos to neighboring stars and planets, but it's really infrequent, and REALLY expensive. I now consider Dream Land my new home. I've already started my life on my own here.
Any interesting stories from the salon - celebrity customers or other amusing anecdotes?
Not really. It's in a rather podunk location. A nice little town, but I only get locals. Then again, the locals come in all forms, and it's a challenge to have to style hair where there isn't any... I managed to give Kirby a 'do. Very short, but I somehow made it work. I have my work cut out for me.
Those two brothers from Johto? They lost their business because of me. :P Twice. I wonder what they're doing now? Are they still cutting hair? Tell 'em to hang it up already if so.
Dream Land seems to be a place full of many different sorts of people, of all species and ideologies - has this ever got you caught up in any conflicts? Or is it more of an idyll?
Most Dream Landers, at least the denizens, mind their own business. It's a simple place where people are content to just eat and sleep. It's kind of a lazy place to live, which is probably why Dedede feels like he can just walk all over everybody, and Meta Knight wishes to see a change. Nevertheless, there's still schools and businesses, so life does go on as you'd imagine, but the pace is WAAAAY slower than in the United States. Slower even than some European countries.
You're not without your trouble makers. The Poppy Bros, those pyrotechnic clowns I mentioned, basically troll for a living. Kracko has it out against Kirby, and since we live close to Kirb, Kracko usually comes by to cause trouble, and we're just a war causality to him. Bronto Burt is just mean to everyone.
As for outsiders, some of them cause trouble. Some of them are downright sinister. I actually had to infiltrate Dracula's castle, once (yes, THAT Dracula. Ever played a Castlevania?). There was a whole legion of evil thing going on, there. Eggman was there, Wily was there, we were up to our eyeballs in mooks and minions across worlds, that's for sure.
So yeah, there's never a dull moment, but Kirby and his friends usually handle the dirty work. I mostly just play with my play-cousins or cut some hair.
A Nidoran isn't exactly large. How do you trap bear? I imagine it must be an ingenious technique.
My Pop Pop knows a lot. As stated, he was in the army and learned a few basic survival techniques there. However, he's also really old, and with age comes experience! My family does live in a state park, afterall, so we needed to be careful about wolves and bears. Black bears aren't necessarily a threat to us, they're just hungry, but you're correct, they outmatch us in strength. As a species, we Nidoran have very few predators, because our toxic glands will kill anything that eats us instantly (talk about your last meal, hyuk). We're like snakes or wolf spiders but way cuter and fuzzier (well, Nidoran are. Nidoqueen/king become all scaly instead).
Having said that, a scavenging bear won't hesitate to beat us down if it must, so we have to protect ourselves and the bear in the most humane way possible. We dig very deep burrows, and then cover it up while leaving bait nearby. We did this often while camping, and Nidoran make great tunnelers. Should the night go by without any bears, we spring the trap ourselves so that no animal falls in unintended. If we DO catch a bear (or a wolf or something), we wait until it tires itself out, or becomes sleepy. Then we leave behind a ladder so it can get out. Yes, bears CAN climb a ladder! We don't trap these animals for kicks, it's just for our safety. Since we intend no harm, we always make sure the animal can go on living after the fact.
Is there anyone special in your life? A partner, or someone you'd like to become your partner in the future?
Yes!His name is Nidorino Eto, he was caught as a Nidoran Male during our Johto adventure. At the time, I didn't really notice him, I was infatuated with Bellsprout, who belonged to Kine's rival. Bellsprout was probably the first person I ever fell in love with, as previously I just didn't have time for that. It didn't really work out. He was oblivious and I wasn't getting anywhere. However, Bellsprout remains one of my best friends.
Nidorino, on the other hand, uh... well he's naive, unlucky, sheltered and a man-child to say the least. These days, though, he seems to be maturing, and he's doing his best to become a well rounded individual. On the other hand, I know what it's like to be immature and childlike even as an adult, and I'm
older than he is. Frankly, I found his mannerisms both cute and funny, and being the oldest in my biological family, I'm used to being the caretaker. He just reminds me so much of my own siblings that I grew attached to him. Plus, I get to brag and say I have a significant other from across the globe!
I hope to get married soon-ish. Sounds silly, "why does a Pokemon need to get married"? And again, it's not a one size fits all. We don't, but some of us just like your human lifestyle and we mimic it! :D Why do I wear clothes on occasion? Because I find the outfits cute! Why does anyone do anything? Don't judge me. :I
Forgive me, but how on earth do you style hair without thumbs?
Who said anything about not having the appropriate opposable digits?
You'd be amazed at what we monsters can accomplish with a minimum of three fingers, toes or claws. Just ask Meowth!
The real question is how Miltank holds anything. Those hooves aren't at all flexible!