ShadowWind
Senkei Senbonzakura Kageyoshi
- 253
- Posts
- 15
- Years
- Age 30
- NOT TODAY PEDAFILES
- Seen Oct 29, 2008
Here is the first page of my new story the rest will be released in about a week or so it will be around 2 or 3 pages and it will be one of my best yet!(though this is my third lol) Please tell me what you think give any suggestions you can and other then that ENJOY! I really would like some advice from some more experienced writers so any advice or suggestions or comments poitive or negative are appreciated And blue angel i would appreciate some comments from you =P
Hello, my name is Joshua Hishtogar and I live in a world where there is an evil Monarch named Shefola rules with an iron fist. Pokémon trainers are scarce nowadays do to the fact that we were given three options: Join Shefola, have a rebellion or die. This is the story of my final journey. I slowly climbed out of the cave exit with my partner, Dragonair, took a deep breath of air and said, "Well, it may have taken two days but we finally made it through the Jengai Pass." Suddenly Dragonair collapsed; I rushed to his side and tried to get him to wake. I checked his pulse; it was faint and slow, but it was still there. I quickly gathered him in my arms and began running towards the Jengai stronghold. While running I thought, come on, Dragonair, what is wrong with you? Did that fight against that Seviper injure you? But you were barely scratched! Oh, Dragonair, I'm so sorry! I soon reached the gates to the stronghold and demanded that I was allowed in. I got to the Pokémon center and handed Dragonair to Nurse Joy. She told me not to worry and that Chansey and I will have him right as rain soon. Then they entered the operating room without another word. I waited and wondered how long it had been since they brought Dragonair in. An hour, two? The wait was maddening and time just seemed too slow. Eventually I was granted the sweet bliss of sleep.
It was hours before Chansey shook me awake and led me to Nurse Joy. Joy said; "Dragonair will be fine with just a few more days of sleep. The poison did more damage too his body then we first thought. You may take him with you once he wakes up but in the meantime just make yourself comfortable you can stay in one of our rooms until then." There were too many emotions rushing through me at the same time; joy, sorrow, self blame, regret and too many more too name.
Meanwhile at a Palace thirty miles outside of Jengai
Advisor have you found the renegade trainer who stole the "cargo" yet? No my Lo-ord
She-e-fol-a. Then find him or it will be your head! Ye-es my Lord.
Back at the Pokémon Center
I lay restless in my bed this night with thoughts of Dragonair clouding my mind when finally I remembered what drove me too Jengai, again. I slowly leaned off the side of the bed and opened my bag and removed the item within. An item so precious, so fragile, that it would break at the slightest drop. It was a Pokémon Egg. The egg that could save Pokémon once and for all. Shefola not only ruled like a dictator but he wiped out all of the female Pokémon and put the males to work. This is when all the Pokémon trainers, breeders, professors, and scientists ran as far as they could. They took as many of their Pokémon with them as they could only the males were saved. Many were lucky too escape with any of their Pokémon. Then they hid. Yet there was a beacon of hope left for Pokémon. Shefola held 25 female eggs for himself in case he wanted too revive the species. I broke in too his palace nine days ago I have ran toward Jengai since. This is the capital of the renegade forces. This is Pokémon's' last chance for survival.
It the Last Chance
Hello, my name is Joshua Hishtogar and I live in a world where there is an evil Monarch named Shefola rules with an iron fist. Pokémon trainers are scarce nowadays do to the fact that we were given three options: Join Shefola, have a rebellion or die. This is the story of my final journey. I slowly climbed out of the cave exit with my partner, Dragonair, took a deep breath of air and said, "Well, it may have taken two days but we finally made it through the Jengai Pass." Suddenly Dragonair collapsed; I rushed to his side and tried to get him to wake. I checked his pulse; it was faint and slow, but it was still there. I quickly gathered him in my arms and began running towards the Jengai stronghold. While running I thought, come on, Dragonair, what is wrong with you? Did that fight against that Seviper injure you? But you were barely scratched! Oh, Dragonair, I'm so sorry! I soon reached the gates to the stronghold and demanded that I was allowed in. I got to the Pokémon center and handed Dragonair to Nurse Joy. She told me not to worry and that Chansey and I will have him right as rain soon. Then they entered the operating room without another word. I waited and wondered how long it had been since they brought Dragonair in. An hour, two? The wait was maddening and time just seemed too slow. Eventually I was granted the sweet bliss of sleep.
It was hours before Chansey shook me awake and led me to Nurse Joy. Joy said; "Dragonair will be fine with just a few more days of sleep. The poison did more damage too his body then we first thought. You may take him with you once he wakes up but in the meantime just make yourself comfortable you can stay in one of our rooms until then." There were too many emotions rushing through me at the same time; joy, sorrow, self blame, regret and too many more too name.
Meanwhile at a Palace thirty miles outside of Jengai
Advisor have you found the renegade trainer who stole the "cargo" yet? No my Lo-ord
She-e-fol-a. Then find him or it will be your head! Ye-es my Lord.
Back at the Pokémon Center
I lay restless in my bed this night with thoughts of Dragonair clouding my mind when finally I remembered what drove me too Jengai, again. I slowly leaned off the side of the bed and opened my bag and removed the item within. An item so precious, so fragile, that it would break at the slightest drop. It was a Pokémon Egg. The egg that could save Pokémon once and for all. Shefola not only ruled like a dictator but he wiped out all of the female Pokémon and put the males to work. This is when all the Pokémon trainers, breeders, professors, and scientists ran as far as they could. They took as many of their Pokémon with them as they could only the males were saved. Many were lucky too escape with any of their Pokémon. Then they hid. Yet there was a beacon of hope left for Pokémon. Shefola held 25 female eggs for himself in case he wanted too revive the species. I broke in too his palace nine days ago I have ran toward Jengai since. This is the capital of the renegade forces. This is Pokémon's' last chance for survival.
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