Hoenn RéBURST [M] [OOC + SU]

@Crimson, sorry for the wait; I'll get to your sign-up as soon as physically possible.

@Bleacher, for future reference, you don't have to get GM approval for an evolution. However, you're still stuck on the level cap, which is 16 at the moment.

I ended my last update in trying to catch a Pokemon, it's lost somewhere on deathbymanga and WoldOfEve's posts haha. Just to let you know.

I'll make sure to check it out, Scyke; thanks for the note.

Okay, now onto Crimson's character.

The appearance is still vague to the point that it's annoying. First off, he's 14, so of course he's going to look young. What does a "young complexion" make him look like? A five year old? There are no real defining characteristics here, (still) nothing to make even the slightest picture of what he actually looks like; all I've got out of it is "thin, tall and anime hair". He apparently doesn't have eyes, either. Might want to deal with that.

I'll skip the personality for now, because that was just painful to look at.

Lastly, what is up with his background? Where did he grow up? Why was he bullied? The total lack of the Five Ws (Google this if you actually don't know) you seem prone to not using makes this (and much of the history in general) completely redundant. Okay, so his parents were "killed" by wild Mightyena; more lack of explanation. Were they provoked? Did a pack just randomly fly into a brutal rage and wipe out everyone in his family EXCEPT Nathan? Also, why isn't Nathan dead, too? I've seen this "their family got killed" situation with a lot of sign-ups — it's not just you, really, so please don't feel like I'm hating on you or anything — and it's always total BS because their character, for some never-explained reason, is so "special" that the Pokémon/person/thing that killed their family /didn't/ kill them, too.

I'll reiterate, since he seems to have been transported to a completely different town after getting orphaned, but where did he grow up in the first place? When did all this happen? Who the hell is Mr. Corosska? (Can't just say "nice old man"?) Why was he getting mugged if he lived in such a small town filled with consistently kind people? Where did a totally random wild Combusken come from during said mugging? Why did it offer to help a kid that's supposed to be absolutely terrified of it?


I hope I don't need to explain again that this isn't a rejection, but there are serious problems that need to be taken care of before it can get accepted. (OrangeNess revised his about 5-6 times, but he still got accepted.)

Tornzero's words said a bit nicer.
Drop that family murder nonsense,
It overdone and has an overused preasence
Mighteyenas don't murder
So put that to the burner

Replace the murder with family
A bright child is better
Don't you agree?

Instead of fearing Pokemon
Because of a tragic demon
Have him fear evil
I have nothing that rhymes with evil

Oh and rhymes aside
You should decide
Whether you want people to die
And a young lad to cry

Okay seriously I'm done, I was just overrun with rhymes because I have to much time. Why don't you leave the parents alive, I mean why have a bright personality guy with an out of place background. (When your parents die, I doubt you, or anyone, would be mr Sunshine)

-.- A well. It doesn't matter. I have far too many rps to keep up with in the first place. Sorry I can't live up to your standards.

No that was awful my last post :/ I'll try and repost the character for maybe tomorrow or something :/

Also I really struggle to make an appearance, I don't understand how that wasn't enough :/

The problem with the appearance is that you leave things too vague because your words are extremely generalized, which I tried to touch upon with my last post. What exactly is a "young complexion" on someone who's barely hit puberty?

The issue remains in his height, too; he's tall "for a fourteen year old", but what's an average height supposed to be? When I was 13, one of my classmates (also 13) was already well over six feet tall, I kid you not, and I was somewhere around five feet.

What I'm trying to say is that you need to use words that actually define him, instead of using inaccurate guidelines — "pasty white skin", maybe, and a measurable height, etc.

I am a ghost, BOOOOO!

Yeah... gonna try to do Scyke's capture attempt this week, so, yeah, pwease be a bit more patient :3

Aaaaand I'll also try to finish this Gaia Arc once and for all -.- After all, we've heard of them ever since the new wave of RPers joined, and you guys deserve a rest.

That's it, I'm gone again...

can i have a capture sequence please?

Sorry guys, I have to drop out of Réburst. Having an inactive RPer like me would just block a good position and pokémon. I'm kinda busy with Dreams & Nightmares and a Crysis based RP as well as RL stuff.

As soon as I have time, I'm gonna come back with a new SU... For now, good bye. I'll see you all soon.

Okay, Vato's disappeared again. He'll be out for a while with a Real Life Monkey on his back, leaving me in charge of your worthless lives! MUAHAHAHAHAHA.

For Scyke and deathbymanga, if you could provide a link to your capture attempts, I'll gladly take care of them as soon as I can.

Are we dead now? I hope not. So while I ask this I'm also bringing the thread back to the top.

TornZero said:

Okay, Vato's disappeared again. He'll be out for a while with a Real Life Monkey on his back, leaving me in charge of your worthless lives! MUAHAHAHAHAHA.

For Scyke and deathbymanga, if you could provide a link to your capture attempts, I'll gladly take care of them as soon as I can.

Click to expand...

Sorry, just saw this thanks to Wolf. Here's mine - http://www.pokecommunity.com/showpost.php?p=7604671&postcount=221

Welp, guess I gotta resign, this seems to be dead as well.

Who said it was dead? Just because there haven't been any replies in a while doesn't mean it's dead. .-.

Speaking of, I managed to finish taking care of Scyke's capture attempt. I ended up forgetting to post it, so thanks for reminding me, Tyler!

Sorry I haven't made a post yet, exams have started and cramming is in process right now, so making a good post would take time. Sorry again :(

Don't worry about it, Scyke. As long as some posting gets done, it'll be good.

I would like to join, if its not too late?

I'm very sorry, but we're planning to have the thread closed.

However, there will be a reboot in a short time, if you're willing to wait.