Well, well, how come I have not reviewed this yet?
Dagzar, I have to say that contrary to what I had expected
from myself, I liked this story. You see, when I first read "Mentor" (about two weeks ago), I picked from the Announcement Thread and thought something in the lines of "trainer guiding along wannabe-trainers on their 1st year? No thanks, I'm smelling
angst".
Then I read ch. 2 and I was so greatly surprised that I just couldn't stop reading (it happens to me sometimes). I like how this Leah character has turned out to be. What with the failed attempt at a Pokémon journey and the effect it has on her views on concepts such as friendship, tutorage, and
weather. Or even the "Sandshrew as an 'it'" thing someone pointed out long ago. I didn't ever realize how she viewed her own Pokémon until that point, and the realization kinda widened my view of the character, too.
Not to say the two kids, Ally and Ed, are less interesting. The whole contrast of personalities was nice to watch, in particular during the Gym Battle and how it turned out to be. I like Ed a lot, don't know exactly why -- maybe because of how he contrasts with Leah.
My favourite element in the story so far is, no wonder, Sands the
it Sandshrew. And how
it's his interaction with Leah is presented at some points iat the story. Like this:
Chapter 6 said:
"I'm bored," Leah told it, answering its imaginary question. "You're suffering with me."
...
Uh oh, if she was bored enough to play games with a Pokemon, then she was in trouble.
It made me giggle and laugh guiltly both because of the "imaginary question" and the whole twisted idea that crossed my mind for a moment that she viewed her Pokémon as a foiled way to dillute boredness, yes, but as a
companion in pain anyway.
And the whole part where the little thing curled and held the Fire Stone for dear life plus biting his way back to the stone, was like, say, a Macedonia salad for me: a very well featured mix of tasty traits, ranging from something simple like the Fire Stone emanatting heat, to Sands' plea to keep it and Leah essentially taking advantage of being a human and ending the whole
affair with a click of a Poké Ball. You know, that scene almost made me feel sorry for myself that I don't (can't) get to treat my Pokémon better in the games. Oh, the fact that they ended up taking the Fire Stone after all was a plus.
Also I wanted to congratulate you on the battle against the Victreebel. It was a interesting read given the tone your story had until it happened. I loved how Leah sensed some futility in the fight at the beginning, how Sands obeyed her, how Paras managed to handle and how Ally did not want to witness the "train wreck". It ended up quite well, in particular, as I look back, because of this single line by Leah:
Chapter 9 said:
"Amber the male Vulpix," Leah snorted, amused. "Poor Pokemon."
Of the most recent chapter I don't have that much to comment. I was a litle bit worried how were things to turn out with last chapter's storm, and commencing with what seems to be a nice (almost idillic) island kinda made me forget that the tea was originally three.
Oh and a nice addition in the form of *Lorelei*. I always manage to get the name wrong and call her
Lorelai... But again a nice point. Now, what artifact may she be protecting at Seafoam Islands...? :rambo:
A nice story so far -- I've just suscribed. Oh and I'm going to so, so, so
demand ask plea to get included in the PM List... please???? ;)