Your Biggest Fails

Dropped something on the grass so I looked back and kept walking. Three seconds later, I was massaging a sore head from walking into a pole. Yeah that's all that I can think of right now. Except the one time I got outrun by an escaped guinea pig. That was sad. :(

Its not a long list, but boy is it majestic. It takes a certain grace to **** up this badly. That and alcohol.
1. Went out with friends for their birthday, the guy who was celebrating also invited his sister. One of my friends and her decided to play a joke that she was hitting on me, and it worked. Later in the night I cornered her in the bathroom and tried to shove my tongue down her throat. Thankfully she's understanding, told me what was going on, and no one ever found out.
2. Pursued a girl out of my league, while another friend of mine was pursuing her. For months we would sabotage each other only to find out she was playing both of us for the hell of it, cause she liked the attention she was giving us.
3. Working this summer at a Hotel, there was a local hangout for all the employees. Got drunk one night, and instead of hooking up with this willing girl that my friend was insisting on, I was hitting on this other girl who had a boyfriend everyone else in the club knew about.

I've actually made quite a few big ones. Made the wrong call about who to to play my sports for in High School, so I basically was an insanely talented bench player. Mustered my courage and pursued my big crush as a senior in HS and botched it - got the friendzone/ "you're like my brother" excuse, she chose someone else. (See: The Dark Knight when Rachel wrote Bruce that letter - kind of like that) And just recently, I mustered my courage after a breakup to pursue another woman who threw my kindness in my face, after leading me on for a few months. Got stood up on Christmas Eve. Those would probably have to be the biggest fails, haha.

Hmmm I think I have some pretty good ones...

The first one involves me playing a game of football... on the street... down a hill... XD so basically I was at wide receiver and I jumped to catch a pass. I caught the ball but, lost my footing and ate asphalt all over my face. I completely tore up the right side of my face and ended up looking like Two-Face for quite some time XD

The second one was probably the most physically painful one and was the ultimate display of stupidity. So I was in the bathroom during a class break and I took a piss in the stall, seeing that all the urinals were taken. I finish my business when my friends arm comes out from under the bottom of the stall grabbing my leg. (We were in middle school and a lot of us did bathroom pranks on each other) I attempt to kick his hand, repeatedly missing and hitting the ground, when I feel a pain in my toes like no other. It turns out I dislocated two of my toes, the back toe bones went up and over the front toe bones XD The worst part about it was that I still had to go to class like that and my friends kept telling me to stop *****ing about my toes in french ;-;

My last one was definantly the most emotional scarring of the three. So it's the first football playoff game that my middle school had ever been to. (Our school was only 6 years old and the football teams had been terrible) We had a pretty good season (best in school history) and I was starting at Wide Receiver, Kick Off, Kick Return, and Punt Team. Now on Kick Off I was situated at the front of the formation when I hear some friends calling my name out on the sideline. I look over and wave (it was a group of girls and a girl i liked was with them) When me being a dumb ass completely ignore the whistle, turns around right at the kick when I see the ball coming straight towards me. It was an onside kick, and a bad one at that. It was kicked really hard and it hit me right on the side of the helmet >.< Luckily my best friend (other starting wide receiver) was right next to me and he picked up the ball to preserve our possession. Needless to say my coach chewed me out and I felt like dying. XD

My biggest fail was when I was playing my PS2, and I was leaning back too much, but I had realized that after falling on a box full of glass jars. That hurt too...

I think my biggest fail is when I was coming down the stairs and fell down twisting my ankle.

I'll start off with my life is a fail >o< .
One of my biggest fails was with Pokemon actually. I was trying to get to rayquezza in emerald and my dad gave me some drink and for lile 10 mins I would engage in the battle but run away and turn it off and on again.
Another one was when I had absolutely no balls (ruby) and encountered my first shiny ever which was a lvl2 wurmple right outside the starting city.

There's a story behind this one:

After about two weeks of band camp, we were almost done with the show and getting ready for the parent performance where we perform for just the parents (kind of self-explanatory there). So the first two movements go off without a hitch for me, but then the third movement happens. I'm running backfield when I forget where my next spot was. I knew its general vicinity, so I go for it. All of a sudden, I remember where it was, and I'm five yards away from it. I have to bolt to my correct spot on the next move. Besides that, everything went fine. Except when we ran the show a second time, where I messed up in the same spot again. Only this time, I was ten yards off.

At the end of the show my director said everything went fine except for one idiot who messed up both times at the beginning of the third movement...

I am not really a lucky person. I've had a significant number of fails. To name a few:

- I once stepped on my phone and completely broke the screen. I backed a bit and stepped on my DS
- I once tried to jump off a cliff onto a deep water lake; I ended up breaking my back a bit after landing on it.
- I burned a good portion of my hair after attempting to cook.
- I slipped off the stairs and broke my teeth.

That's mostly pre-18 years old. I have way more in the last two years.

Thatcher said:

I am not really a lucky person. I've had a significant number of fails. To name a few:

- I once stepped on my phone and completely broke the screen. I backed a bit and stepped on my DS
- I once tried to jump off a cliff onto a deep water lake; I ended up breaking my back a bit after landing on it.
- I burned a good portion of my hair after attempting to cook.
- I slipped off the stairs and broke my teeth.

That's mostly pre-18 years old. I have way more in the last two years.

Click to expand...

You should just wrap yourself in bubble-wrap for the rest of your life.

I slipped on a sock -- yes, a sock -- on carpet (HOW???) on the stairs and fell down about four of them. I broke my big toe.

a. How lame that out of everything, I broke a toe?
b. How lame to break a bone in such a way??

I jumped off a 7-8 foot cliff (don't remember exactly how tall) pretending to be a superman when I was in third grade. I landed on my left arm, breaking it in the process. It took couple months to heal, but to this day my left arm feels quite funny and makes cracking noises when I move it around forcefully.

I flipped onto my knees in front of a crowd of people as a result of running backwards in the 6th grade. Everyone's mouth was agape, so I exclaimed "Wooh! Awesome!" (even though it hurt, a lot) to alleviate the mood before rushing to band class.

...Basically anything involving a girl. Put me in front of one and you'll have enough material to write an entire book about my biggest fails.

My last relationship.
Trying to revive said relationship.

That basically covers it.

Trying to swim on a 6 feet pool when I was Grade 3..... I ended up drowning and was saved by myself by holding on the edge of the pool.... XD

And that time when I was working on a picture to print and paste it to our project in Grade 3 (Yes, I was that Creative...) then I was like kicking the desk where I used the computer then It turned of eventually...

And when I was answering questions from my teacher in chorus I was standing and I didn't notice my classmate pulled my chair and when the teacher said "Sit down..." I obeyed and ended up landing on my butt... then I was like "Yeah! That was awesome!" then my classmates saw some tears on my eye..... and they were like "Hahahahaha crybaby!"... the ending was good because I stole all their ID's and hid it at the back of a trashcan they were searching for it then blamed me for it because my ID was with and I was like "Nope, It ain't me," then they raised their eyebrows then I said "Ur just jealous." I sticked my tongue out and they chased me I was running for my life like they read my mind..... I don't want to die so I just got their ID's then put it back at their places.... :D

I once cut open a can and cut a vein, and started bleeding profusely for almost 30 minutes. I was very worn out for several days after that.

Over ****ing dog food.

I trip a lot.
I drop things a lot.
I stub my toes a lot.
I walked with strangers a lot.
I get lost a lot.

This basically sums up the history of my life of fails.

Uhh this one's gushy. Had the best kiss of my life this summer by a college girl and didn't ask her out. Do I regret it? Mmm idk now tbh. :c

Going to this camp when I was younger. My friend and I snuck out late at night out of the camp, though the woods and almost made it to a gas station when we got caught by cops and we sent back. Oh yea, we didn't sleep all night and got a big chewing out the next day. I don't know how we didn't get banned. All we wanted to do was go to O'Charleys.

The same week a bunch of guys snuck out late at night and went skinny dipping. We thought we were alone just to find out some girls took our clothes. It was a long walk of shame back. Luckily the director guy didn't find out about that one.