First, some (dis)honourable mentions.
- Calvin Harris featuring Ne-Yo: Let's Go. Congratulations for making a dance rave song which puts me to sleep. What's a shame is that Calvin is quite a interesting producer, yet this song's beat is also mind-numbingly dull.
- will.i.am featuring Britney Spears: Scream & Shout. A mediocre dance pop song from 2 artists who are just begging for there relevance back.
- Drake featuring Lil Wayne: The Motto. It introduced YOLO. Elaboration would be redundant.
- Train: Drive By. Gets a special mention for some of the worst lyrics of the year. If you need a garbage bag to carry your love, then you are really desperate.
- 2 Chainz featuring Kanye West: Birthday Song: A birthday song talking about where someone raps about where they want to get buried. Ouch.
Okay, now onto the top 5!
No. 5: Cher Lloyd: Want U Back.
This song is beyond annoying. The irritating grunting in the song is a terrible music choice, and just seems to lampshade how annoying this song really is. The beat is also a very obvious plagiarism of "Party in The USA", a song which managed to be even more horrible than Miss Lloyd's immature whine of a song.
No. 4: One Direction: What Makes You Beautiful
I don't refer to One Direction on any of those boy band muppets (sans The Wanted, who I actually appreciate) as legit artists, and this product just puts everything I hate about the irritating comeback of this formulaic faeces into one 4 minute piece of pure cliché rubbish. Everything about this song is offensively generic - is this seriously the kind of music our girls are listening to? If so they must like falling asleep, as this song will cure insomnia with it's unrelentlessness boredom.
No. 3: Nicki Minaj: Stupid Hoe
Nicki's output this year has been very poor, and this song is easily her most unlistenably awful song in her discography. This song tries to be a funny dis track towards Lil Kim, yet fails in not being funny at all. It's filled with repetitious lyrics and the overall production is awful. Thank god this song didn't chart to save it's life.
No. 2: Flo Rida: Whistle
Let's just cut the chase here; this song is how Flo Rida's male anatomy. The actual subject matter of the song would make this song get a spot on my list easily, but the lyrics help it get close to the top of the suck-o-meter. Most of the lyrics are completely incomprehensible gibberish.
No. 1: Rhianna featuring Chris Brown: Birthday Cake
Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake.
Great lyrics guys, and this is ignoring the horrible idea of having Chris Brown (you know, that guy who assaulted Rhianna a few years ago) appear to make a already bad song truly abysmal.